I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Thoughts on Exercise

by on 2:54:00 AM
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. My grandmother started walking five miles a day w...
by At No comments:
The five questions are:
1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into
a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly. For example:

1) "What are you thinking?"
The proper answer to this question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."

Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really
thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:
a) Baseball
b) Football
c) How fat you are.
d) How much prettier she is than you.
e) How he would spend the insurance money if you died.
(The best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking.")

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:

2) "Do you love me?"
The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need
to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong answers include:
a) I suppose so.
b) Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c) That depends on what you mean by "love".
d) Does it matter?
e) Who, me?

3) "Do I look fat?"
The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state,
"No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:
a) I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b) Compared to what?
c) A little extra weight looks good on you.
d) I've seen fatter.
e) Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.

4) "Do you think she's prettier than me?"
The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring
at so hard that you almost caused a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you
just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier."
Wrong answers include:
a) Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b) I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c) Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d) Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e) Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.

5) "What would you do if I died?"
Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would
cease to have meaning for me and I would of course hurl myself under the front
tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the
stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband.
"Why do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.
"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.
"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
"Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and
replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play
with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She is left-handed."
by At No comments:
300GB disc set to challenge DVD…???
A computer disc about the size of a DVD that can hold 60 times more data will go on sale in 2006, according to its American developer InPhase Technologies, a Lucent spin off.

The discs, holding 300GB each, use so-called Tapestry holographic memory technology to store data by interference of light. They are also able to read and write data at 10 times the speed of a normal DVD.

InPhase Technologies has formed an alliance with Hitachi/Maxell to market and sell the discs. The first public demonstration was held at the International Broadcast Equipment Exhibition last week in Tokyo.

Tapestry can store more than 26 hours of broadcast-quality high-definition video on a single 300GB disk, recorded at a data rate of 160Mbps. The discs are 13cm in diameter and a little wider and thicker than conventional DVDs.

Normal DVDs record data by measuring microscopic ridges on the surface of a spinning disc. Two competing successors to the DVD format - Blu-ray and HD-DVD - use the same technique, but exploit shorter wavelengths of light to cram more information onto the surface.

The Tapestry system uses light from a single laser split into two beams: the signal beam and the reference beam. The hologram is formed where these two beams intersect in the recording medium.

The process for encoding data onto the signal beam is accomplished by a device called a spatial light modulator, which translates the electronic data of 0s and 1s into an optical 'checkerboard' pattern of light and dark pixels. The data is arranged in an array or 'page' of around a million bits.

At the point of intersection of the reference beam and the signal beam, the hologram is recorded in the light sensitive storage medium. A chemical reaction occurs in the medium when the bright elements of the signal beam intersect the reference beam, causing the hologram.

By varying the reference beam angle, wavelength or media position many different holograms can be recorded in the same volume of material.
by At No comments:
by At No comments:
Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly :
Sachin Tendulkar & Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys, 80 & 86 years old, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day.

Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"

Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes on.
One day soon afterward, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav...Sourav !"

Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you ?"

"Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.

Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well, "says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first, "says Ganguly.

Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven."

Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"

Sachin sighs and whispers, "You are going to open the innings this Friday."


HAT TRICK

Sachin was out first ball. On the long walk back to the pavilion he had to pass the incoming batsman Ganguly.

'Hard luck, man,' smirked Ganguly.
'Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick.'


NEW ICC rules - only when ganguly plays
IDEA NO:1:
Plastic Ball or Tennis Ball or Rubber Ball to be used while bowling to Ganguly.

IDEA NO:2:
Only one stick should be kept while Ganguly is Batting instead of Three so that his chances of getting out bowled will be minimised

IDEA NO:3:
Dada can wrap up his legs with 4 or 5 bats instead of pads, so that there is no chance of getting out lbw.

IDEA NO:4:
The size of the ball can be reduced to the size of a lemon or size of his bat can be increased to twice its size. Or the size of the ground can be decreased to that of a Basketball Ground.

IDEA NO:5:
Fast Bowlers are prohibited to bowl the following deliveries to Dada. They should not bowl Inswinger, Outswinger, Off cutter, Leg cutter, Bouncer, Short Pitched Ball, Reverse swinging ball, yorker, reverse swinging yorker, slower ball & most importantly in and around the off stump corridor.

IDEA NO:6:
Speed restrictions for bowlers:
FAST BOWLERS: MAX 120 KMPH
SLOW BOWLERS: MAX 50 KMPH.

IDEA NO:8:
Fast bowlers in their runup should run like Mohinder Amarnath and slow bowlers should not run at all.

IDEA NO:9:
Ganguly can change his position as medium fast bowler instead of Batsman and bat at no:11, so that by the time he enters the ground 48 or 49 overs would have been bowled.

IDEA NO:10:
I.C.C Should warn Pakistan Bowlers that hereafter any bowler taking Dada's wicket, the number will not be added to the bowler's tally of wickets.

IDEA NO:11:
Bowlers should not appeal for dismissal of Ganguly. Even a small appeal (not necessarily loud appealing or excessive appealing) will lead to match refereee Chris Broad suspending the bowler for the rest of the series.

IDEA NO:12:
Fast Bowlers should only throw the ball and slow bowlers should use underarm throw.

IDEA NO:13:
Even after this if Ganguly gets out, the bowler will be called a chucker and new rule for bowling action, i.e.( 2 degrees bending of bowling arm allowed for fast bowlers and 3 degrees bending of bowling arm for slow bowlers) will be taken into account and the bowler will be immediately sent to Australia by next flight for corrective action.

IDEA NO:14:
No fielder should catch the ball hit by Dada. If they catch, then any of the opening batsman who got out earlier, like virender shewag will be allowed to bat for second time.

IDEA NO:15:
For every minute Dada stays in the middle, one run will be added to his score and if the ball hits the bat and travels to the following places, runs will be credited to Dada as follows.

Slip, Gully, Forward Short Leg: 1 run
Mid on, mid off, cover, point: 2 runs
long on, long off, fine leg, third man: 3 runs.

And finally if Dada's wicket is taken before he reaches 50 runs all opposition team members will be fined 50% & the bowler who took the wkt will b fined all his match fees

Sachin & Ganguly

by on 5:06:00 AM
Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly : Sachin Tendulkar & Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys, 80 & 86 years old, are sitting on a pa...
by At No comments:
The first three months of pregnancy is the most crucial stage in your baby's development as all organs are forming. Throughout your pregnancy, but especially during the first three months, be particularly careful about using any alcohol, drugs or medication. The following information outlines substances that require special precautions during pregnancy. Instructions are also given on how to keep track of fetal movements, an important sign of how healthy a baby is.

# Alcohol
# Caffeine
# Cigarettes
# Food Additives
# Food Handling Concerns
# Medications and Herbs
# Saunas and Hot Tubs
# Toxoplasmosis
# Video Display Terminals (VDTs)
# Other Precautions
# Informational Hotlines - Chemical Use and Precautions

Alcohol
No one knows how much alcohol is safe to drink during pregnancy. The danger of alcohol use during pregnancy is that it may cause fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS). Babies born with FAS may:
* grow more slowly
* have learning problems
* have distorted facial features

There is no cure for these problems caused by fetal alcohol syndrome. Alcohol is an ingredient in many medicines you buy. For example, some cough medicines are 25 percent alcohol. Ask your health care provider if you should use the product during pregnancy. Always read the label before taking any medicine.

Precautions
The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism and the March of Dimes caution pregnant women that because there is no known safe level of alcohol taken during pregnancy, the safest course to follow includes:

* Completely avoid alcoholic beverages while pregnant.
* Discuss your concerns regarding alcohol & pregnancy with your healthcare provider.

Caffeine
Caffeine is a stimulant that affects individuals differently. Caffeine can cause nervousness, irritability, anxiety, irregular heartbeats and difficulty in sleeping. How caffeine affects the fetus is still under investigation. Some scientists believe caffeine can cause premature or smaller than normal babies, or possible birth defects.

Precautions
* Cut down or eliminate food and drinks which contain caffeine such as coffee, tea, colas and other soft drinks, cocoa and chocolate.
* Caffeine is also an ingredient in many non-prescription medicines such as headache, cold, allergy, and pills that are made to combat drowsiness.
* If you have been consuming caffeine in large quantities, gradually decrease your intake. Severe headaches, nausea, fatigue and other symptoms may accompany an abrupt withdrawal. Check with your health care provider for more information.

Cigarettes
Cigarette smoking may lead to serious health problems. Women who smoke during pregnancy usually have smaller babies than non-smoking women. Low birth
weight babies are more likely to have health problems such as:
* Infections
* Trouble keeping warm
* Feeding problems
* Breathing difficulties.
* Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

In addition, new research has found significant health problems related to exposure to second hand smoke and a link to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (S.I.D.S.).

Precautions
* Stop smoking or cut down your smoking when pregnant. There are many community programs available to assist you. Call the American Cancer Society for information on Smoke-Stopper Programs in your area. Call 1-800-NOBUTTS(800-662-8887).
* Avoid smokers and smoking areas whenever possible.

Food Additives
Precautions
Whenever possible, try to minimize your use of

* Processed food items (such as hot dogs)
* Foods containing sodium nitrate, such as cured meats (hams, bacon, etc.); these substances may be carcinogenic (cancer-causing).
* Be sure to wash fruit and and peel carrots to avoid ingesting pesticides.

Food Handling Concerns
Since cooking food destroys bacteria or parasites, consuming raw fish, meats or poultry may increase your risk of infection or parasitic disease. Milk that is not pasteurized milk may also cause illness.

Precautions
* Avoid eating raw fish (sushi, ceviche), meats or eggs.
* Avoid drinking unpasteurized milk.
* Cook your fish, meat, poultry and eggs thoroughly.
* Always wash cutting boards after slicing any raw fish, meats, or poultry.

Recommendations
* Run plastic cutting boards through the dishwasher and microwave wooden boards for five minutes.

Medications and Herbs
Before you decide to take any medication or medicinal herbs during your pregnancy, be sure to get answers to these questions:
* What is this medicine/herb?
* What does it treat?
* What are the side effects my baby or I may experience?
* What is the smallest effective dose?
* How long will I need to take this medication?

Precautions
Be cautious before using medicines that contain multiple ingredients, as these are more likely to contain extra substances, which may be harmful.
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Saunas and Hot Tubs
The use of saunas and hot tubs that maintain a temperature greater than body temperature should be avoided due to their potential for causing overheating and possible effects on the developing baby.

Precautions
Avoid possible overheating. Check with your health care provider for recommendations.
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Toxoplasmosis
Toxoplasmosis is a condition caused by a parasite which can be found in cat feces, the soil of plants, and raw or undercooked meat. The parasite can cause brain damage in a developing infant if the mother becomes infected during pregnancy.

Precautions
* Avoid contact with cat feces. Have someone else change the litter box.
* Wash dirt from fresh produce before eating.
* Use gloves when you garden.
* A blood test is available to determine if you have been exposed to toxoplasmosis. Ask your health care provider for more information.
* Cook all meat to at least medium, preferably well done.

Video Display Terminals (VDTs)
At this time, there are no conclusive research findings regarding the effects of Video Display Terminals (VDT) on a developing fetus.

Precautions
* Reduce your exposure to VDT's whenever possible.
* Be sure to take frequent stretch breaks & look away from the screen whenever possible.

Other Precautions
Many pregnant women are concerned about possible effects on their developing baby from using products such as household cleaners, insecticides, hair dyes, permanents, finger nail polish, electrolysis, paint fumes, high altitudes, microwaves, and tanning beds.

Check with your health care provider for his/her recommendations. When in doubt, be cautious and avoid the substance in question during pregnancy.
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Nugget Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a South American mining district Mrs. Brown presented her husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the News office and told that he had found a 12 pound nugget of gold as good as any to be found in South America. The paper, naturally, sent a reporter to get particulars. This is what happened:

Reporter: Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs.Brown: He does.
Reporter: Is he in?
Mrs.Brown: No he isn't.
Reporter: I understand he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds.
Mrs.Brown: (Seeing the joke) Yes.
Reporter: Can you show me the exact location where it was found?
Mrs.Brown: I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private.
Reporter: Is the hole far from here?
Mrs.Brown: No, it is quite handy.
Reporter: Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?
Mrs.Brown: Almost ten months.
Reporter: Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?
Mrs.Brown: He thought he was.
Reporter: Was the work difficult?
Mrs.Brown: It was at first but easier after the shaft opened.
Reporter: Is the water plentiful?
Mrs.Brown: Yes, sufficient to carry on the work.
Reporter: Has he gotten to the bottom yet?
Mrs.Brown: No, but quite near it.
Reporter: Do you think there are any more nuggets?
Mrs.Brown: Yes, if the claim is properly worked.
Reporter: Has he worked it since he found the nugget?
Mrs.Brown: No, but I told him it was time to start.
Reporter: Do you help him?
Mrs.Brown: I do my level best.
Reporter: Do you think he will sell the claim?
Mrs.Brown: No, he finds too much pleasure in working it himself.
Reporter: Can I see the nugget?
Mrs.Brown: Certainly.

She brought the baby in for inspection. The embarrassed reporter departed very quickly.
by At No comments:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Why?

by on 4:49:00 AM
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient fund...
by At No comments:
During a period of upheaval at the company where I worked, a number of office relocations were occurring. Having assisted with various moves, I considered myself quite the expert. So when I saw two colleagues struggling to carry a heavy desk up a flight of stairs, I went over and advised them that the desk would be much lighter if they removed the drawers. They duly took out the drawers. Then they balanced them on top of the desk and continued up the stairs.

- Deborah Hitchin

My sister-in-law, a teacher, was pulled over for failing to come to a complete stop. The officer wrote out a ticket and handed it to her with some advice: "Drive safe." "Safely," she replied. "What?" the officer asked. "You've corrected my driving," she explained. "Allow me to correct your grammar."

- Therese Jelinski

After his marriage broke up, my manager became very philosophical. "I guess it was in our stars," he sighed. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Her astrological sign is the one for earth. Mine is the one for water. Together we made mud."

- Lori Phillips

Clearly I was not going to win the battle of bulge on my own so I decided to join a gym. "Before you start working out, we like to do a health assessment," explained the gym representative. "When you come in, wear loose fitting clothing." "If I had loose-fitting clothing, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

-Kelly Blackwell

Zilah, my favourite aunt, is 74 and, as she herself puts it, she's completely "together." However, I went to her house the other day and she appeared to be worried. After much insistence, she confessed, "Darling, I think I'm getting old. Yesterday I went to the movies and rode a cab home." "And what's wrong with that?" I inquired. "I completely forgot I'd driven my own car there!"

- José Cláudio Garcia

As I passed the receptionist at our local senior centre, I noticed that she was rummaging through the lost-and-found box with one hand while holding the telephone in the other. "I'm sorry," she eventually told the caller. "They're not here. If they turn up, we'll call you at once." "What were you looking for?" a colleague asked. "He wanted to know if anyone had turned in his teeth," she replied. "He needs them for lunch."

- Elsie Morris

News that her third child was going to be a girl thrilled my cousin, who already had two boys. "My husband wants to call her Sunny," she told me, "and I want to give her Anna as her middle name in memory of my mum." I thought they might want to reconsider their decision, since their birth announcement would herald the arrival of Sunny Anna Rainey.

- Carolyn Wallis

Our nine-year-old niece slept on the couch in our computer room during a recent visit. "Is Uncle Jim an idiot?" she asked her mother the next morning. "Why would you ask that?" her mother replied. "He has all these books: Idiot's Guide to Windows, Idiot's Guide to PowerPoint..."

- James Salt

My 11-year-old brother was making chocolate chip cookies for the first time when he asked my mother, "Why do I have to leave the room?" "What do you mean?" she asked. "Come and look at the recipe," he said. "It says right here, 'Leave room for spreading.'"

- Scott DeGieo

The plan: to build a garden walkway made up of dozens of wooden squares. I decided I'd slice railway ties into five-centimetre thick pieces for the sections. That's what I told the clerk at the lumber yard. "You got a power saw?" he asked. "No," I said. "Can't I just use my hand saw?" He nodded slowly. "You could. But I just have one question. How old do you want to be when you finish?"

- Judy Myers

Don't ever pay a surprise visit to a child in college. You might be the one getting the surprise. I learned this the hard way when I swung by my son's campus during a business trip. Locating what I thought was the building he lived in, I rang the doorbell. "Yeah?" a voice called from inside. "Does Dylan Housman live here?" "Yup," the voice answered. "Leave him on the front porch. We'll drag him in later."

- Jericho Housman

Real Life Humor

by on 4:44:00 AM
During a period of upheaval at the company where I worked, a number of office relocations were occurring. Having assisted with various moves...
by At No comments:
Click the link to hear the audio, it's real funny...


Pilot Announcement
by At No comments:
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."

Lighter Moments....

by on 4:25:00 AM
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As h...
by At No comments:
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy pointed his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.

"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died & left us two million dollars."

Got rich...

by on 4:23:00 AM
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy pointed his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. T...
by At No comments:
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father. "Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?" "No son, that's because you are intelligent. "

Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar?" "No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.

Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar?" The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."
by At No comments:
Monday:
Now home from honeymoon & settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake & the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

Tuesday:
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So, I didn't dress. But, Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.

Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice & found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So, I heated some water & took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday:
Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden & when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce & stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over & asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.

Friday:
Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl & beat it." Beat it I did, to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday:
Tim went shopping today & brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress & it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work,or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying & shouting out "why me? why me ?"

Hmmm.... It must be his job, I guess.
by At No comments:
HER DIARY

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing. "I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


HIS DIARY

Today India lost the cricket match against bangladesh.

DAMN IT.
by At No comments:
A Sardar, a Japanese, and a Britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.

The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door.

After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese, "I'm confused, why did you bring the Radiator?"

The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid." Next the sardar asked the Britisher, "Why did you bring the seat?"

So, the Britisher said, "If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."

Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all I have to do is roll down the window."

Sardar in desert..

by on 1:25:00 AM
A Sardar, a Japanese, and a Britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothi...
by At No comments:
In a party, one of Santa Singh's friends asked him how many chappathis he could eat on an empty stomach. Santa replied "Seven".

Then his friend told him "When you eat the first chappathi your stomach is no longer empty. Then how can you eat seven??"

Santa was impressed by this tricky question. So, as soon as he went back home he asked his wife "How many chappathis can you eat on an empty stomach??". She replied "Five".

Then Santa said: "If only you had told seven I had a nice reply for it".

How many chappathis?

by on 1:24:00 AM
In a party, one of Santa Singh's friends asked him how many chappathis he could eat on an empty stomach. Santa replied "Seven"...
by At No comments:
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.

After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.

"America," the husband replied.

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded: "She's not from the States."

"Yes I am." said the wife. He looked at her and asked. "Is he your husband?"

"Yes." she replied.

Turning to the husband, he offered.... "I'll give you 100 camels for her."

The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "she's not for sale."

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer?

The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."

Is Your Wife For Sale?

by on 1:08:00 AM
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman ...
by At No comments:
A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start".

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email".

"I'm sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round.

In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.

The man replied, "I don't have an email." The broker answered curiously,"You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?" The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story :

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire...

Have a great day.
by At No comments:
Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter asked for a job with a timber merchant, and he got it. His salary was really good and so were the working conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best.

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to fell the trees.

The first day, the woodcutter brought down 15 trees.

"Congratulations," the boss said. "Carry on with your work!"

Highly motivated by the words of his boss, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he only could bring 10 trees down. The third day he tried even harder, but he was only able to bring down 7 trees. Day after day he was bringing lesser number of trees down.

"I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.

"When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked.

"Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees..."

That's right. Most of us NEVER update our skills. We think that whatever we have learned is very much enough. But good is not good when better is expected. Sharpening our skills from time to time is the key to success.
by At No comments:
Dear Husband
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-wife

********************************************************


Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven
years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
by At No comments:
[1] tell her she is Beautiful. not hot or fine.

[2] hold her hand at ANY moment even if it is just for a second.

[3] Kiss her on the forehead

[4] leave her voice messages to wake up to.

[5] ALWAYS tell her you love her at any & and all times.

[6] when she is upset, hold her tight & tell her how much she means to u

[7] recognize the small things.. they usually mean the most.

[8] call her Sweetie or BABY

[9] Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.

[10] pick her over all the OTHER girls you hang out with

[11] write her notes. (she loves them)

[12] introduce her to family & friends as your girlfriend

[13] play with her hair.

[14] pick her up, tickle her, & play WRESTLE with her.

[15] sit in the park & just TALK to her.

[16] tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes

[17] throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because u missed her.

[18] let her fall asleep in your arms

[19] carve your names into a TREE.

[20] if she`s mad. Kiss her

[21] give her piggyback rides

[22] bring her flowers just because Bouquet

[23] treat her the same around your friends as you do when you`re alone

[24] look her in the eyes & Smile

[25] let her take as many pictures as she wants

[26] SL0W DANCE with her, even if there isn’t any music playing

[27] KISS HER IN THE RAIN

[28] if you`re in love with her tell her.
by At No comments:
It's really interesting... Check it.

Did you know that a flight number from one of the planes that hit one of the two WTC towers on 9/11 was Q33N.

In Notepad, type in that flight number i.e. Q33N.

Increase the font size to 72.

Change the font to Wingdings

IS IT COINCIDENCE OR WHAT?
by At No comments:
If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the
situation... You fix it . Maybe today, that person still wants
to be your friend . And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late.

If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't
know... tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love
with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And if
you don't tell her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it. Maybe they
need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today,
tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they
leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show
them... do it . Maybe you have them there to show them how you
feel. That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow
can be too late.

2moro can b 2 late

by on 4:37:00 AM
If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it . Maybe today, that person still wants to be your...
by At No comments:
by At No comments:
The CIA were holding interviews for the post of assassin.
They were looking for someone who was utterly ruthless and had narrowed the field down to three candidates-two men and a woman.

The first applicant was handed a gun and told: "In that room your wife is sitting in a chair. You must go in and shoot her."

The man said: "I'm sorry, I just can't do that, not to my own wife." He knew he had blown his chance of getting the job. The second applicant was also handed a gun and told:

"In that room your wife is sitting in a chair.
You must go in and shoot her in cold blood."

The man looked horrified. "No way. I'm not gunning down my wife." And with that he walked out. Finally it was the turn of the woman candidate.

She too was handed a gun and told: "In that room your husband is sitting in a chair. You must go in and shoot him."

Without protest, the woman opened the door and went into the room. From outside, CIA officials heard gunfire,followed by screams and a lot of banging. Eventually the woman reappeared."You guys did't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks",she complained.

(scroll down)





"I had to beat him to death with the chair!".

THE CIA INTERVIEW

by on 3:58:00 AM
The CIA were holding interviews for the post of assassin. They were looking for someone who was utterly ruthless and had narrowed the field ...
by At No comments:
It's Tough Being a Guy

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
..
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
..
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
..
If you mention how nice she looks, it's harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
..
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
..
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
..
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
..
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
..
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
..
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
..
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore
by At No comments:
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you meet a beautiful girl .
- Uzair Sait

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones


It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Some W a c k y Quotes

by on 2:56:00 AM
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT&#...
by At No comments:
A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet. So, he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So, he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about The Lord!?"

A little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."

A talking centipede

by on 2:52:00 AM
A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet. So, he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusua...
by At No comments:
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

DO'S
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they tend to like such people too. You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self (but don't try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with an Arian, then you have to show your enthusiasm in all their activities (you can always yawn later!).

DON'TS
Do not tell an Aries that s/he may be wrong. Any such statement may stir a storm in a teacup. Aries are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smoldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)

DO'S
Stability and dependability characterize Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of color and music. Judge life with them from a purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.

DON'TS
Taurus do not loose their temper easily (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

DO'S
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Gemini partner you have to match your wits with his/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. Your sense of humor will get you a permanent residence in the heart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them, and if you are good at this, you will never know how hours pass by holding each other's hand.

DON'TS
Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.

Cancer (Jun22 - July 22)

DO'S
Try to adapt yourself with the changing moods of the Cancer. At one moment they may be laughing and enjoying and in another they may sulk. You may have to adjust with the moody and sensitive Cancer. They are like the tides in the ocean, always fluctuating. Cancerians love food, so if you know how to cook and can be poetic and romantic (added Bonus) then you know the way to their heart.

DON'TS
Cancerians are very sensitive people and can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They are like tides that can sweep you along. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Such things hold special meaning to them. You have to realize that the crabs have a soft heart and are vulnerable. Do not contradict their tested line of thought and action, it would only lead to confusion.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22)

DO'S
If you have Leo partner respect him and his majestic manners. Accept the advice of Leo, the lion, as he is the king of the jungle. It is the sign of a showman, so if your partner does everything in grand style enjoy it. They fall easily for flattery and want to be center of attraction of all eyes (sometimes they can be quiet theatrical too).

DON'TS
Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. Pride, ego and vanity are some of the bags Leo's always carry with them. Do not touch these bags. An authoritative Leo is even more difficult to handle in such circumstances. Leo is a sunny sign so they do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Even if you are crying at heart keep a sunny smile on your lips and then let the lion take charge and remove all worries from your life.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept22)

DO'S
Virgo's are very methodical and have a great sense of duty. However, they are blind to their own faults. So, if you have a Virgo partner emphasize more on their qualities. Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realize that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers rather than their physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.

DON'TS
Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the center stage unless of course they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgo's have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open. So, even if you have the key to their secret skeleton-closet, hide it; do not even admit that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, do not want to tarnish their public image.

Libra (Sep 22 - Oct 23)

DO'S
Librans need peace and harmony in all their relationships, so help them maintain that. Venus, the ruling planet, gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have a Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.

DON'TS
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably during an argument may change sides too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from the other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience !

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

DO'S
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music of life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover, share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.

DON'TS
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio's have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unaware. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

DO'S
Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with them their zest and enthusiasm for life. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone go to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.

DON'TS
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but its their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)

DO'S
Capricornians are strong and dependable. Hence, if you want to put your money on anyone it is of course this zodiac sign. They are practical and conservative in their outlook and they expect you to blend in their color. They set certain standards for themselves in their life and they will always try to maintain those standards. For them social status and image is very important in life.

DON'TS
Do not expect a Capricorn mate to open his/her heart and pour everything to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. People born under this zodiac are very tight-fisted and economical. Do not expect lavish gifts from them and if they do give you any gift (that is very rare) it will have some practical use (no romance please) but that does not mean you will be deprived of anything; on the contrary you will be well provided.

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 21)

DO'S
Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love that can be amazing. They have a very broad outlook of life and you can relax in their presence. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. To keep an Aquarius lover interested you must possess that mysterious and intriguing quality. Once hooked they will always be very faithful to you.

DON'TS
Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarians are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. Though they are very friendly, do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they never will). They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.

Pisces (Feb 22 - Mar 21)

DO'S
Pisceans are sensitive and charming. If you are looking for someone who is understanding and can understand your feelings then you have met the right person. You should appreciate their feelings too, as in your time of need they are sure to help you. Pisces have a keenly developed sixth sense and have great intuitive powers. Their hunches may usually be right on mark. But they can exhaust their physical and mental energies. They are born dreamers and you can build palaces with your dream lover (only in real life it may become a little difficult preposition).

DON'TS
Pisces are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. They are very sensitive and you have to be always careful about their feelings. The fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (even men born under this sign).
by At 2 comments:
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them.

She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry.

Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in.

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success,and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success:

"I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!"
by At No comments:
"In Memory Of My Beloved Sweet Heart"


10th Grade
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so-called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


11th Grade
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don t know why.


Senior year
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


Graduation
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


Marriage
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


Death
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.

This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried.

Do Urself a favour, tell her/him U love them. They won't be there ............. Forever.
by At 1 comment:


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The PATH
To success is not..................STRAIGHT
There is a curve called.........FAILURE
A loop called........................CONFUSION
Speed bumps called.............FRIENDS
Red lights called..................GRAVES
Caution lights called...........FAMILY
You will have flats called....JOBS


BUT
If you have a spare called.........DETERMINATON
An engine called........................PERSEVERANCE
Insurance called.......................FAITH
A driver called...........................LORD ALMIGHTY


AND
You will make it to a place called......SUCCESS.

Path to success

by on 5:13:00 PM
The PATH To success is not..................STRAIGHT There is a curve called.........FAILURE A loop called........................CONFUSION ...
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by At No comments:
Message for the day
To be detached yet loving is to be mature.

Contemplation:
The lotus flower is both detached and loving. It is untouched by the dirt it is surrounded with and is beautiful and loving at the same time. In the same way, whatever the situations or the people around us, maturity enables us to be untouched by their negativity. Then we will become the one who is loving too under all circumstances.

Application:
When I am faced with a negative situation, instead of blaming the situation, maturity lies in working at my own inner strength. The problem could have been created by someone else, but I have to make effort in bringing about the solution. Then I will be able to make things better without having negative feelings towards anyone.

Message for the day

by on 4:47:00 PM
Message for the day To be detached yet loving is to be mature. Contemplation: The lotus flower is both detached and loving. It is untouched ...
by At No comments:
Two Singhs (pilots) try to land an airplane in the United States. They start descending and as they touch the ground the pilot screamed "The runway is ending!".

The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air.
They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, the pilot screams again "Get the plane up, the runway is ending!"

The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. This goes on again and again.

During their fourth descent the pilot says: "Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge, expensive airport but with such a short runaway", "I know" answers the second pilot, "But look how wide they made it."

The runway is ending....

by on 5:42:00 AM
Two Singhs (pilots) try to land an airplane in the United States. They start descending and as they touch the ground the pilot screamed &quo...
by At No comments:
by At No comments:
In view of the increasing negative events happening around the world here are five things you can do to help you stay positive.

1. Take a news sabbatical. Listening to the news can be downright depressing. All bad news all of the time can drag you down and keep you there. Give yourself permission to stop listening to the news, especially before bed time.

2. Use your influence to do good where you live. Shift your focus from what is happening in other parts of the world to your community. Get involved in making a positive change or contribution.

3. Focus on what is working in your life. Choose one thing that you are grateful for and focus on it for the rest of the day.

4. Express your appreciation to others. You can create a positive world one person at a time by saying thank you every chance you get to everyone you interact with ? from the person who holds open a door for you to your child who does a chore to a cherished friend or loved one.

5. Focus on what you can change, let go of what you can't change. When faced with a distressing situation ask yourself if you can control over the events. If you do, change what you can. If you don't, learn to let it go and move on.
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When I was a child, my imagination was my only playmate. It didn’t yell at me, or make fun of me, or beat me up. It didn’t scare me, or hurt me, or make me cry. It hit me, but with ideas instead of emotional slaps to my soul. It was my only friend because it never betrayed my friendship, and so I trusted it, and followed it, without question.


We went a lot of places, my imagination and me.
We built forts in the sand,
forts in the snow,
secret forts in the woods.
We were always defending.

We were a lot of people, my imagination and me.
We were the sheriff,
the king,
the hero in the white hat riding the white horse.
We were always stopping the bad.

We did a lot of things, my imagination and me.
We made up stories,
and the people in them,
and the funny things the people said.
We laughed.
We were coping and escaping at the same time.

My imagination and me

by on 5:02:00 PM
When I was a child, my imagination was my only playmate. It didn’t yell at me, or make fun of me, or beat me up. It didn’t scare me, or hurt...
by At No comments:
For GUYS:

1. She makes eye contact and smiles at you.
2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.
3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.
4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.
5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.
6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.
7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.
8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.
9. You catch her staring at you.
10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.
11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.
12. She knows your phone number and address.
13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible.

For GURLS:

1. He stares at you a lot.
2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )
3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you
4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school.
5. He blew off his buds to go see "Run Away Bride" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.
6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process
7. His voice gets softer ("Hey, you") when ever you two talk.
8. You hung up on him. He called you back.
9. You where invited by him to a group outing.
10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.
11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you laugh even harder.
12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.
13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.

Signs of flirting...

by on 9:59:00 PM
For GUYS: 1. She makes eye contact and smiles at you. 2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny. 3. She flip...
by At No comments:
Not sure what to look for when choosing cosmetics? Need some advice on taking care of your skin? Here are eight tips to help your skin look and feel it's best.

1)Select moisturizers made with vegetable oils. The lotions, creams and body oils that you use should be made with vegetable oils, not mineral oil. Vegetable oils, (like olive oil, sweet almond oil, corn oil, etc.) contain fatty acids which help to moisturize and soften the skin. Mineral oil is derived from petroleum and does not contain anything that helps to nourish the skin.

2)Look for herbs and herbal derivatives in your cosmetics. Herbs and their derivatives (essential oils, extracts, infusions) contain natural chemicals which soothe, tone and help condition the skin. Two herbs which are especially useful in natural cosmetics are Lavender and Tea tree. The essential oils of both lavender and tea tree are gentle, natural antiseptics.

3)Once a week soak your feet in warm water, and gently exfoliate dead skin with a pumice stone. Follow up by moisturizing your feet with a natural foot oil or foot lotion.

4)Every week soak in a tub of bath salts. Salt, especially salts mined from the Dead Sea in the Middle East, are rich in minerals and help draw impurities out of the skin.

5)After a shower or bath, seal in moisture by using a body oil or lotion made from natural vegetable oils.

6)If you have blemishes and your skin is dry, moisturize your skin in the morning and at night with products that contain vegetable oils which are high in essential fatty acids. Essential fatty acids help to soften and hydrate the skin and they can also help soothe minor irritations. Vegetable oils that contain large amounts of essential fatty acids are: corn oil, sunflower seed oil, safflower oil, borage oil, blackcurrant seed oil and evening primrose oil.

7)Look for toners and astringents that are made without ethyl alcohol, rubbing alcohol or isopropyl alcohol. These ingredients are solvents that are extremely drying to the skin.

8)Every time you wash your hands, moisturize them with a natural lotion or cream to help them stay soft.
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I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer.

I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up, but the other day, when she came home from shopping and I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup, I said, "Wait a minute. I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything.

She said, "I buy that makeup so I can look pretty for you." I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

I don't think she'll be back....

My wife left me......

by on 9:39:00 PM
I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer. I was not...
by At No comments:
The Lisa
Named after Steve Jobs’ daughter, the Lisa computer was the company’s first product that combined a graphical user interface with a mouse. It was an innovative idea in 1983, but the $10,000 price tag and lumbering pace led to failure. Apple reportedly buried tons of unsold Lisa stock at a Utah landfill.


Macintosh Portable
Would you call a 15.5-pound computer portable? Most consumers didn't either. The $6,500 machine the company introduced in 1989 found few takers. But Apple rethought the computer’s design, and by 1991 it came up with the PowerBook, which remains the standard in laptop design.


The Ineffectual CEOs
Tapped by Jobs in 1983 for his marketing acumen at PepsiCo, John Sculley eventually displaced the Apple co-founder in 1986. For the next 11 years, Apple's fate--and market share--drifted as Sculley, then Apple insider Mike Spindler, then semiconductor veteran Gil Amelio all tried and failed to lift Apple to greatness. Jobs returned to his company as a "consultant" in 1997.


The Newton
From today's perspective, the Newton seems at once both a visionary device and a bulky, pricey PDA. But in 1993 it seemed like neither: Consumers didn’t know quite what to do with it. When the thinner, cheaper, easier-to-use Palm Pilot came out in 1996, the product category finally fell into place, and the Newton faded into obscurity.


The Rokr
The Motorola Rokr is not Apple’s attempt at an iPod phone, the company’s fans declare emphatically. But Apple chose to license its iTunes software for use on the phone and partnered with Motorola to market the converged device in September 2005. The final product, which limits the amount of songs the phone can play at an arbitrary 100, was a disappointment, and Apple spent much more time and energy marketing the iPod Nano.


Taligent
Apple rarely gets tagged as a purveyor of "vaporware"--products that get pre-release hype yet never find their way to market. But that's what Taligent was: Purportedly a superior, futuristic operating system for PCs, the project began in the late 1980s, but it died a lonely death in 1995 without ever appearing in public.


Apple Computer v. Microsoft
In 1988, Apple sued Microsoft, saying Gates and company had infringed on Apple’s copyrights for a desktop-based graphical user interface. After four years of court squabbles, Apple lost the case and an appeal. The decision shaped the history of computing, effectively allowing Windows to become the dominant operating system through licensing deals and causing Apple to turn from new design to new design in an effort to gain a few market-share points.

Apple Duds....

by on 5:05:00 PM
The Lisa Named after Steve Jobs’ daughter, the Lisa computer was the company’s first product that combined a graphical user interface with a...
by At No comments:
As the one & only Amitabh Bachchan turns 64, take a look at his most memorable dialogues:

No.10 Kaalia
"Hum jaha pe khade ho jaate hein, line wahin se shuru hoti hai."

No.9 Trishul
"Sahi baat ko sahi waqt pe kiya jaye to uska maza hi kuch aur hai, aur main sahi waqt ka intezaar karta hoon."

No.8 Satte Pe Satta
"Chain kuli ki, main kuli ki chain! Chain kuli ki, main kuli ki chain! Chain kuli ki, main kuli ki chain!"

No.7 Chupke Chupke
"Jis tarah gobhi ka phool phool hokar bhi phool nahi hota, waise hi gainde ka phool bhi phool hokar phool nahi hota."

No.6 Zanjeer
"Yeh tumhare baap ka ghar nahin, police station hai! Is liye sidhi tarah khade raho!"

No.5 Agneepath
"Pura naam, Vijay Dinanath Chauhan. Baap ka naam, Dinanath Chauhan; Maa ka naam, Suhasini Chauhan, gaon Mandwa; umar chhattis saal..."

No.4 Namak Halal
"I can talk English, I can walk English, I can laugh English because English is a very phunny language."

No.3 Shahenshah
"Rishte me to hum tumhare baap lagte hain, naam hai Shahenshah."

No.2 Deewar
"Haan, main sign karoonga, lekin pehle us aadmi ka sign le ke aao, jisne mera baap ko chor kaha tha; pehle us aadmi ka sign le ke aao jisne meri maa ko gali deke naukri se nikal diya tha; pehle us aadmi ka sign le ke aao jisne mere haath pe ye ('mera baap chor hai') leekh diya tha. Uske baad... Uske baad, mere bhai, tu jo kahega us par main sign karoonga."

No.1 Sholay
"Tumhara naam kya hai, Basanti?"
by At No comments:
U Fraud U Cheat U Idiot U Monkey U Nasty creature.. No matter wat people call you.. You'll always be my friend forever..!!

I have already told Santa Claus what I want for Xmas: A GOOD FRIEND,
So, if a big fat man comes & tries to wrap you up, please co-operate :-)

Dua Karte hain hum sir jhukaye,
Ae dost tu apni manjil ko paye,
agar kabhie teri rahon mein andhera aaye,
Roshni ke liye khuda hum ko jalaye..

Duniya mein keval saat cheez famous hai
1. Apun
2. Apun ka face
3. Apun ka aawaj
4. Apun ka walk
5. Apun ka smile
6. Apun ka style
7. Apun..bole to Tum..apun ka dost

Everything in this world is so fine,
But everything in this world is not mine,
But there is one thing which is divine,
& thats your friendship which is mine.

9 messages received
1
Hi!
2
How r u?
3
Hope ur ok
4
Miss u!
5
Miss me?
6
Be happy!
7
Take Care
8
Bye!
9
bad time, no money so I sent 9 sms in 1.

Friendship..is just like war..
Easy to starts..
Difficult to End..
Impossible to forget..
so I m having a war with you..
I Hope that u dont want peace.

Softly the leaves of memory fall,
Slowly i'll gather n pick thm all,
Bcz 2dy 2morow n till my life is through,
i'll always cherish knwng a person LIKE U.

Ho sakta hai baarish aane se nadi nilli na ho.
Ho sakta hai dhoop padne se sarson peli na ho.
Par aisa kaise ho sakta hai,
ki aapki yaad aaye aur aankh gili na ho...

Heart is like crystal .. Preserve it.
LOVE is like perfume.. Spread it
Feelings are like flood, Flow it
Friendship is like 1 umbrella.. CUM Lets SHARE IT

A big HELLO 2 my
sweet loving
sugar coated
choco mallow
milky shaky
HONEY dipped
cheez melting
orange Juicy
mozzarela peproni
spicy FRIEND.

Age appears 2 be best in some things.
Old Wood, Best 2 burn.
Old Books, Best 2 read.
Old Wine, Best 2 Drink
& Old Friends, Best 2 Keep!-Like U.

Zindagi ki Rahon mein Tumhe jo Gham milenge,
mere Hoslon se kam milenge,
jab khud ko Tanha pao kabhi,
Kasam Dosti ki bas Yaad karna aur samne Hum Milenge.

Teri dosti ne bahut kuch sikha diya,
meri khamosh duniya ko jaise hasaa diya,
karjdar hu mein khuda ka,
jisne mujhe tum Jaise dost Se Mila Diya.

Aapne apni aankhon me Nur chupa rakha hai,
Hosh walon ko Diwana Bana Rakha hai,
Naz kaise na karu Aapki Dosti par,
Mujh jaise Nachiz ko "KHAAS" Bana Rakha Hai..

Friendship is a sim which has no activation charges,
Free incoming and outgoing with roaming all over the world,
and its validity never ends..

Zindagi kisi ki amaanat nahi hoti,
amaanat mein kabhi qayamat nahi hoti,
DIL ko sambhalkar rakhna mere dost kyunki,
mere DOSTI ki kaid mein zamanat nahi hoti..

Shikwe bhi honge humse,
shikayaten bhi hongi humse,
par doston se gila nahi karte,
achhe nahi bure sahi par hum jaise dost mila nahi karte.

Kab tut jaye, kasam hi to hai,
kab badal jaye, nazar hi to hai,
Tu mere saath ki aadat mat dalna e-dost
.... Kab bichad jaye safar hi to hai.

NOBODY like U,
NOBODY cares for U,
NOBODY misses U,
NOBODY wants to see U good,
NOBODY is Ur best friend,
NOBODY is happy with U,
...Dont cry!!! My name is NOBODY.

Khuda aap jaisa cute friend koi aur na banaye..
ek cartoon jo mere paas hai,
kahin common na ho jaye...

Hasna hamara kisi ko gawara nahi hota,
har musafir zindagi ka sahara nahi hota,
milte hai bahot log is tanha zindagi mein,
par koi dost tumsa pyara nahi hota.

COURT ORDER! u r accused of crawling into my HEART, & hijacking my smiles with urs.
How do u plead? GUILTY! U R sentenced 2 b MY FRIEND 4 -LIFE-no bail accepted?

Good frnds r difficult 2 find especially... SOMEONE...
as "SWEET"
as "Original"
as "CUTE" &
as "Intelligent"
as ME.

Har koi pyar ke liye rota hai,
Har koi pyar ke liye tadapta hai,
Mere pyar ko galat mat samazna?
Pyar to "DOSTI" main bhi hota hai..

If u r feeling lonely dial 984,
then if u miss me dial 36,
then if u remember me dial 951,
then if u want me dial 55,
Phir "Call" daba aur baat kar !!!

C.L.I.C.K.:
C=Can't live without u.
L=Like u.
I=I miss u.
C=Care for u.
K=kyunki U R MY BEST FRIEND
So, When u miss me just say "CLICK"...

I m sorry but i dont wanna talk to you anymore. Good Bye 4ever.
My Doctor says i should avoid SWEET stuff...
and YOU are one of d sweetest person i know!

Dosti acchi ho to rang lati hai,
dosti gehri ho to sabko bhati hai,
dosti nadan ho to toot jati hai,
dosti hum jaise ho to itihas ban jati hai.

Sabse intelligent kaun:TUM,
sabse smart kaun:TUM,
sabse strong kaun:TUM,
in sab me TUMsa zyada koun:HUM,
lekin duniya me sabse acche dost koun: HUM TUM..

Logo ko kehte suna aksar,
zinda rahe to phir milenge...
magar iss dil ne mehsus kiya hai...
milte rahenge to zinda rahenge!!

The most selfish 1letter ' I ' - Avoid it.
Most satisfactory 2letters 'WE' - Use it.
Most poisonous 3letter 'EGO'- Kill it.
Most used 4letters 'LOVE' - Value it.
Most pleasing 5letters 'SMILE' - Keep it.
Fastest spreading 6letters 'RUMOUR' - Ignore it.
Hard working 7letters 'SUCCESS' - Achieve it.
Most enviable 8 letters 'JEALOUSLY' - Distance it.
Most essential 9letters 'PRINCIPLE' - Have it.
Most divine 10letters 'FRIENDSHIP' maintain it.

Mana ki bhool jana apki fitrat hi sahi,
magar hume bhool pana apki kismat main nahi.
Chaho to ajma kar dekh lo khud ko bhool jaoge par hame nahi.

Sitaare na hote to chand ko kaun poochta?
Kinare na hote to samundar ko kaun poochta?
Aap jaise dost na hote to hum beganno ko kaun poochta?

Hi, keep messaging me & win xciting prizes
1st-lots of love
2nd prize-life time friendship
3rd prize-free stay in my heart
OFFER VALID TILL IM ALIVE

LIC's new frndship poicy: assured frndship for whole life on a premium of 1 msg. everyday. To register give a missed call now.

Dillagi dosto ke naam hoti hai,
dildari doston ki shaan hoti hai,
kahin bhi raho par rahoge dil mein mere,
yahi sacchi dosti ke pehchan hoti hai.......

O FRIEND ji... main kiya...
tussi mitha aam ho,
cola da jaam ho,
sirdard da balm ho,
sab kucch theek hai-bas MAINU YAAD nahi karde es vaaste badnaam ho!
Majak me naa lena,
assi serious hain ji.

Kadam kadam pe hawaon se taluk rakhna.
dosti ke daur pe dosti ka aasra rakhna.
hamari yaadon ke sms zaroor ayenge aap bas apna inbox khali rakhna!!!!!

Nazar hamari nazar tumhari,
Nazar ne dil ki nazar utari,
Nazar ne dekha nazar ko aise,
ke kabhi na nazar lage dosti ko hamari.

Ingredients:- 10g hasi,
10g pyar,
20g sukhdukh share karne ka wada,
10g kasme,
50g kabhi na khatam hone wali baatein.
RESULT: Friend Forever.

Mere dil ki hai ek Condition,
Usme nahi kisiko permission,
Sirf tujhe hai dost Admission,
Woh bhi bina donation.
Just maintain Good Relation...

Abhi bole to bhai ko tere sms nahi aarela kyaa,
Bhai ka khopadi bot tight me hai,
Abi kya karne ka Bole to do char sms chipka dalne ka samjha!!!

kYa mAmu buSy diKrelAye?
APun yaAd nAhi aRelaye kya.
mAmu bindAs enJoy kArne kA,
boLeto aPun kA baAt manneKa,
eK msg kAnekA wArna aPun teRa wAt lagA dega.

Jo AASANI se MILE WO hai "GHUM",
Jo MUSHKIL se MILE WO hai "RUM",
jo KISI-KISI ko MILE WO hai "DUM",
jo NASEEB WALO ko MILE WO hai "HUM".

Mehak ishk ki kam nahi hoti,
ishk se zindagi khatm nahi hoti,
sath agar zindagi mein aap jaise Doston ka ho,
to zindagi jannat se kam nahi hoti

Lamha-Lamha waqt gujar jayega,
chand lamho me daaman chod jaayega,
abhi waqt hai do bate kar lo humse,
kya pata kal kaun apki zindagi mein aa jayega.

Yaad Teri na aaye aisa HONE NAHI doonga,
DOST TERE jaisa KHONE NAHI doonag,
EK-DO MESSAGE karte REHNA,
WARNA KAAN KE NEECHE 2 KASKE doonga.

"F-R-I-E-N-D-S" are like balloons,
once u let them go, u cant even bring them back.
That's why I've tied u tight to my "H-E-A-R-T".
U r too..oo precious to LOOSE!

Dosti ghazal hai gungunane ke liye,
dosti nagma hai sunane ke liye,
yeh wo jazba hai jo sab ko milta nahi,
kyunki hosla chahiye dosti nibhane ke liye.

Compare luv & frnd.
blind-bright
mad-glad
alone-group
fear-joy
silent-rouse
blank-complete
selfish-help
short-everlast
danger-safe
Think abt it!

Friendship Sms Messages

by on 10:09:00 PM
U Fraud U Cheat U Idiot U Monkey U Nasty creature.. No matter wat people call you.. You'll always be my friend forever..!! I have alread...
by At 2 comments:
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, & to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, & everything was lost.

He was stunned with disbelief, grief, & anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.
by At No comments:
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts & sat down by the tree, out of sight, & began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.

Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard!

Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence,
yet were still unable to see anything.

The old man & the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter & tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence & we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

Pecans in the Cemetery

by on 9:54:00 PM
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of...
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ARIES MARCH 21 - APRIL 20
Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologies, which makes them easier to forgive.
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TAURUS APRIL 21 - MAY 20
You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so when you do lose your cool, people don't know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and anyone trying to pacify you will be the first one to get a verbal bashing. You generally get upset when you are concerned or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate being reminded about mistakes you've made in the past. You also have the potential to be terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way.
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GEMINI MAY 21 - June 29
You are recognized by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you are the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically. But when you lose cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by your seductive charm.
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CANCER JUNE 21 - JULY 21
Considering how charming, caring and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in your effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.
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LEO JULY 22 - AUGUST 21
If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don't care about opinions. You don't like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use critical language. A dressing down can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever.
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VIRGO AUGUST 22 - SEPTEMBER 21
Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions but those of you given to temper tantrums can certainly get violent. When see things with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close at hand. You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top table or wall. You should never get into any argument, for you are a sore loser. You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don't quite respect your opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever.
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LIBRA SEPTEMBER 22 - OCTOBER 22
Did someone say that you are the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it's true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You are very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into self-congratulatory mood. Your family or those very close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it.
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SCORPIO OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21
Of course you don't lose your cool. But your very demeanor (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (human). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose and you are raring to give your piece mind to the first person that try to be funny with you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone for when you scream, your voice tends to get shrill and loud and you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.
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SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 20
You are insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.
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CAPRICORN DECEMBER 21 - JANUARY 19
Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and genuine emotions. You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide from others. You can see thing with anger but will not betray your feelings. But then, there are times that even you cannot control your temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and scream, more with frustration at the situation than with anger at any particular person. Your outbursts can shock others and can make them feel guilty too.
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AQUARIUS JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18
You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavor to be perfect and socially correct in your behavior and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation and will be bitter about it for a long time.
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PISCES FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20
The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You are very sensitive to others' feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things take a nasty turn. You will yell and use harsh words and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up. Your creative imagination is at its best when angry, and you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you refuse to listen to reason and wish to be left alone. But once you calm down, you repent your tantrums and seek forgiveness. So nobody can be upset with you for too long.
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