~*~ hseved ~*~

Here r some of the IT companies. Marked in RED are very dangerous companies.

Top most Firing IT companies in India

1) IBM --- Right now this is the most firing and dangerous company for IT professionals. From the last 6 months, this company fired nearly 20% of their employees because of BG check and performance issues. This is most unsecured company from IT professionals point of view. They didn't have any strategic plans at HR policies regarding employee security. v

2) Accenture --- This is second top most firing company. This company was also have good firing rate like 15%. This is basically depends upon outsourcing, so there is no job security for an employee in this company.

3) Intel --- Recently they started firing of the employees.

4) CTS --- Always having firing policies(checking the Educational background and previous employment and also employee performance in work)

5) CSE --- Basically not a firing, but be careful about Back ground.

6) Satyam --- Basing upon their projects requirement they used to fire the people. Currently they stopped firing. Attrition rate is very high.

7) Patni ---- They fired so many employees, currently they are in very mcuh deficiency withe employees. Attrition rate is very high in this company.
So take care before accepting offers from these companies.

Secured IT companies in India

1) Microsoft --- Has project till 2050.

2) EDS --- Most secured company in india. Not laid off any of its employess even during 2001. Has lots of projects in Defence and financial areas .. Basically a gud company to be in. Also called as a retirement company.

3) HP --- Dream company. Inhouse and outside projects

4) TCS --- A publicly owned IT company. Secured. (Thanks for the correction)

5) WIPRO --- Doing gud as ever. Lots of project. Recently accuquired GM project .So doing better.

Top most firing IT companies in india..

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:05:00 AM

Here r some of the IT companies. Marked in RED are very dangerous companies. Top most Firing IT companies in India 1) IBM --- Right now t...

A wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband: "Buy me a surprise for my birthday" she said. "Something that accelerates from 0 too 100 in 4 seconds"...... "And I would prefer a blue one please"!

Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday. And finally she got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully bought............

~Accelarator~

by Devesh Prabhu on 3:51:00 AM

A wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband: "Buy me a surprise for my birthday" she said. "Some...

1st voice e-mail from India

Called NowPos (now possible), this will be the world's first voice mail service, indigenously developed by Hyderabad-based NowPos Online Services, a subsidiary of TrulyIntelligent Technologies Pvt Ltd. This service has the potential to make text format e-mails redundant. This technology will enable users to record and send voice messages as mails. The fact that users will be able to send mails in the text format as well is just incidental.

Speaking to Business Standard, Ayyappa Nagubandi, leader (title equal to a CEO), TrulyIntelligent Technologies, said, "We took nine months to develop the technology and will launch it in the next three weeks. It will be a free e-mail service. While the sender will need to register with NowPos to send a voice message (up to three minutes), the receiver will not."

Incidentally, advertisers will also find a new format to market products and services through NowPos. "We plan to allow advertisers to play commercials before receivers listen to their mails. This will, therefore, work as a radio commercial in an online medium," Nagubandi said, adding that the firm would, however, permit only one commercial before a message and that too not exceeding 10 seconds.

"We will also use the AJAX technology that will enable users to customise their inbox and pages. This means, users will be able to drag and place an item of the ir pages anywhere they like, or even ensure that it is out of sight," Nagubandi said.

AJAX or Asynchronous _JavaScript and XML is a web development technique that helps in creating interactive web applications. Rediff, for instance, is using this technology to enable users to drag and drop mails into the trash folder.

"Besides, another feature that the e-mail service will have is a tracking mechanism. So, if you send a voice mail to someone who in turn forwards it to another person, you will be informed about it so that you can delete it before it is heard by a third person," he added.

Registration Here: NowPos

1st voice e-mail from India...

by Devesh Prabhu on 3:44:00 AM

1st voice e-mail from India Called NowPos (now possible), this will be the world's first voice mail service, indigenously developed by H...

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd see you fall asleep,
I'd tuck you in more tightly,
And pray your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd see you walk out the door,
I'd hug you and kiss you--and call you
Back for just one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
We'd spare a minute or two,
I'd stop and say "I love you,"
Instead of assuming you know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd be there to share your day,
I wouldn't wait until tomorrow,
Letting time with you slip away.

For surely there is a tomorrow
To make up for an oversight,
And we'll always get a second chance
To make everything all right.

There will always be another chance
To say our "I love yous,"
And certainly there's another chance
To say our "What I can dos."

But just in case I might be wrong,
And today is all I get,
I'd like to say I love you,
And hope you never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
Young or old alike,
And today might be your last chance
To hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
Why not do it all today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
You will surely regret the day

You didn't take the extra time
For a smile or hug or kiss.
And you surely aren't too busy to grant
What may be their last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
And whisper in their ear;
Tell them how much you love them,
And that you'll always hold them dear.

Take the time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Forgive me," or "It's okay,"
And if tomorrow never comes,
You'll have no regrets about today.

If I Knew

by Devesh Prabhu on 3:39:00 AM

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you fall asleep, I'd tuck you in more tightly, And pray your soul to keep. If I knew it ...

when a boy is quite, he has nothing to say.
when a girl is quite, millions of things r running in her mind.

when a boy is not arguing, he is not in the mood of arguing.
when girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

when a boy answers "i am fine' after some time, he is actually fine.
when a girl answers "i am fine" after some time she is not at all fine.

when boy sms u everyday he is forwarding them.
when girl smsu everyday, she wants to reply at least one.

when boy says "i miss u" ,he is all alone.& he has nothing except u.
when girl says "i miss u" she has everything except u.

Boy & Girl...

by Devesh Prabhu on 3:32:00 AM

when a boy is quite, he has nothing to say. when a girl is quite, millions of things r running in her mind. when a boy is not arguing, he is...

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A Man's Perspective)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, & I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument & neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "my in-laws."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM & he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Must Read It.

by Devesh Prabhu on 3:23:00 AM

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A Man's Perspective) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boil...

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is a drive on topsy turvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for the remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Love & Marriage

by Devesh Prabhu on 3:19:00 AM

Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street. Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant. Marriag...

"There was once a lonely girl who longed desperately for love. One day while she was walking in the woods she found two starving song birds. She took them home and put them in a small glided cage. She nurtured them with love and the birds grew strong. Every morning they greeted her with a marvellous song. The girl felt great love for the birds. She wanted their singing to last forever.

One day the girl left the door to the cage open. The larger and stronger of the two birds flew from the cage. The girl watched anxiously as he circled high above her. She was so frightened that he would fly away and she would never see him again that as he flew close, she grasped at him wildly. She caught him in her fist. She clutched him tightly within her hand. Her heart gladened at her sucess in capturing him. Suddenly she felt the bird go limp. She opened her hand stared in horror at the dead bird. Her desperate clutching love had killed him.

She noticed the other bird teteering on the edge of the cage. She could feel his great need for freedom. His need to soar into the clear, blue sky. She lifted him from the cage and tossed him softly into the air. The bird circled once, twice, three times.

The girl watched delighted at the bird's enjoyment. Her heart was no longer concerned with her loss. She wanted the bird to be happy. Suddenly the bird flew closer and landed softly on her shoulder. It sang the sweetest melody, she had ever heard.

"The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tight, the best way to keep love is to give it -- WINGS!"

A Lesson

by Devesh Prabhu on 3:08:00 AM

"There was once a lonely girl who longed desperately for love. One day while she was walking in the woods she found two starving song b...

To go there click on the link below:

deveshprabhu

My new Homepage [WORK-IN-PROGRESS]

by Devesh Prabhu on 10:10:00 AM

To go there click on the link below: deveshprabhu

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning our milkman dropped dead on our porch."

Good Bye.....

by Devesh Prabhu on 9:51:00 AM

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Momm...

What exactly is bird flu?
India, France and Iran are first-timers. Authorities in Bulgaria are testing a man for bird flu. Indonesia has confirmed the death of 19 so far, while Egypt and Nigeria are trying hard to control its spread. Are we at risk? Read on.

What is Bird Flu?
Also referred to as Avian Flu, this is a type of influenza virus. These viruses can infect a number of animal species, including pigs, horses, and several species of mammals. The ones that infect birds are called 'avian influenza viruses.' Wild birds are often the natural hosts, but avian influenza viruses do not usually infect humans directly.

Avian influenza is caused by the Influenza A virus, first identified in the early 1900s in Italy and now present worldwide. If you're wondering about the names often given to these viruses, avian flu virus subtypes are labelled according to an H number (for hemagglutinin) and an N number (for neuraminidase). Each subtype has mutated into a variety of strains, but most are now extinct.

Where did the flu originate? How does it spread?
From wild birds. Wild waterfowl can be responsible for the primary introduction of infection into domestic poultry. This is different from SARS, which is caused not by an influenza virus but by a corona virus. Avian influenza spreads when infected birds shed the virus in the form of saliva or faeces. These then affect susceptible birds that come in contact with the contaminated matter, or contaminated food and water.

Avian influenza virus spreads in the air and manure and survives longer in cold weather. There is no evidence that the virus can survive in well-cooked meat though. The incubation period is 3 to 5 days. Symptoms in animals vary, but strong strains can cause death within a few days.

Can infected birds spread the influenza to humans?
Rarely. How this transmission from birds to people occurs is not known, but most human cases have been traced to direct contact with live infected birds or their droppings.

Can we still eat chicken and eggs?
Yes, it is safe to eat poultry and eggs, provided it is not undercooked. Runny eggs, for instance, may not be such a good idea. Avoiding unnecessary contact with live poultry is important, so you might want to avoid the live markets if the number of cases rises. For the moment, however, the government says the situation is well under control.

What are the symptoms, in birds and humans?
In humans, avian flu viruses cause similar symptoms to other types of flu, including fever, cough, a sore throat, muscle aches and, in severe cases, severe breathing problems and pneumonia that may be fatal. The severity of the infection will depend on an individual's immune system.

As for affected birds, these display symptoms like tremors, diarrhoea, staggering and paralysis. Human beings, especially children, who come in contact with live infected birds, their mucus, droppings or even feathers risk getting infected.

Can the virus spread from person to person?
There is no evidence of this yet. The virus could change though, and may then spread easily from person to person. The avian influenza and human influenza virus could mix, resulting in a new subtype. Thankfully, there is no indication of this yet.

Are there treatment options available?
There are certain anti-viral drugs available, but the need for using these does not exist at this point. However, if one is in direct contact with infected birds or a contaminated environment, an influenza anti-viral drug must be taken daily. Seek your doctor's advice on this issue.

What about precautions?
Apart from avoiding contact with live poultry, remember that the virus is sensitive to common disinfectants such as detergents. The government is currently disposing culled birds. It has also said that it is safe to consume well-cooked chicken and eggs as the Indian style of cooking -- deep-frying and boiling – kills the virus. Another thing working in our favour is the heat, as the virus cannot survive the harsh Indian summer.

Beating bird flu.
While it may appear to be just bad news from around the world, the good bit is bird flu can be defeated. Vietnam -- the world's worst-hit country with 93 human cases and 42 deaths -- has managed it.

Bird flu has an incubation period of one to two days in poultry and five to seven days in humans. Under World Health Organisation guidelines, a country is designated disease-free when no new cases have been recorded for 21 days. Vietnam did it with a combination of vaccination, culling and public communication – a strategy the Indian government has already begun to implement.

Vigilance is the key. Ducks can also carry the virus without showing symptoms, and it can also persist in the soil and water. For the moment though, Vietnam's victory has given the rest of the world a much-needed shot of hope.

Courtesy : CDC

What exactly is bird flu?

by Devesh Prabhu on 9:26:00 AM

What exactly is bird flu? India, France and Iran are first-timers. Authorities in Bulgaria are testing a man for bird flu. Indonesia has con...

Brahadeeswarar- Thanjavur (Rare Photo)...

by Devesh Prabhu on 9:05:00 AM

OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
INSIDE: That you're not here to ruin it for me.

OUTSIDE: If I get only one thing for Christmas...
INSIDE: I hope it's your sister.

OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.

OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in hell 'til I met you.

OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
INSIDE: What the f*@k was I thinking?

OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful & well-respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.

OUTSIDE: Sex with you is like using drugs:
INSIDE: Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to admit it.

OUTSIDE: When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
INSIDE: Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids & moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!

OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you...
INSIDE: It's almost like you're here.

OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: Buy a dog.

OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?

Bad Card Quotes......

by Devesh Prabhu on 9:03:00 AM

OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... INSIDE: That you're not here to ruin it for me. OUTSIDE: If I get only one thin...

eyes meet,
it is like a touch...
a spark...
----------------Attraction

the touch of the eyes
was as if,
it was...
------------------ Infatuation

the flame of her body is felt,
his breath starts igniting...
------------------ Love

she touches him like a whisper,
as if silence is mixed in her eyes,
he prays, a little consciously,
a little unconsciously...
------------------ Reverence

he is entangled on her path,
entangled in her arms
love now turns to...
------------------ Worship

living is an obsession...
dying is an obsession...
apart from this there is no peace...
------------------ Obsession

let him rest in the lap of death...
let him drown his body in her soul...
------------------ Death

Attraction

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:57:00 AM

eyes meet, it is like a touch... a spark... ----------------Attraction the touch of the eyes was as if, it was... ------------------ Infatua...

A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in maths?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

Learn Maths....

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:51:00 AM

A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of bi...

Via: E-Mail Forward.

Lovely messages...

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:36:00 AM

Via: E-Mail Forward.

A : YOUR A HOTTIE
B : you are loved by alot of ppl
C : you're wild and crazy
D : You have trouble trusting people
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people
F : People totally adore you
G : You are very friendly and undestanding
H : You have very good personality and looks
I : Love is something you deeply believe in
J : Everyone loves you
K : You like to try new things
L : You always make other people smile when you smile
M : You are beautiful, and sexy
N : your sex is unforgetable
O : You love foreplay
P : You are very friendly and understanding
Q : You are a hypocrite
R : Someone loves you
S : People think you are so sexy
T : You are one of the best in bed
U : You are really chill
V : You are not judgemental
W : You are very broad minded
X : You never let people tell you what to do
Y : you make every experience great
Z : You're Super coolL.

I DO NOT TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY PROBLEMS ARISING FROM THIS POST.
Via : E-Mail Forward.

What ur name means...

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:17:00 AM

A : YOUR A HOTTIE B : you are loved by alot of ppl C : you're wild and crazy D : You have trouble trusting people E : You are always fun...

EXTREME OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.

EXTREME OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through emails.

EXTREME OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no emails for a week.

EXTREME OF FRUSTRATION:
The email server being down.

EXTREME OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.'

EXTREME OF ACHIEVEMENT:
A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.

EXTREME OF TIMEPASS:
A person sending email to himself.

EXTREME OF REPETITION:
Forwarding an email to someone & receiving the same email forwarded back to U by some one in the receiving chain.

EXTREME OF BROWSING:
You are swimming in the water tank and shout "F1 F1 F1?" instead of shouting "HELP" when u are unable to swim..

EXTREME OF MY FRIENDSHIP:
I always mail, u don't.

EXTREME OF HAVING NO WORK:
You reading such posts.

Some Extremes

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:11:00 AM

EXTREME OF ISOLATION: Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other. EXTREME OF COWARDICE: Two persons fighti...

Check Your Eyes Properly........

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:08:00 AM

The ABCD of Valentine.....

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:00:00 AM

Victory & ......? (Spot the Knot in the Ad)

by Devesh Prabhu on 7:21:00 AM

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father
6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber
11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener
21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic
26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny
31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant
36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined
41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself.
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself.
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget: *birthdays *anniversaries *arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A GUY HAPPY:
1. Show up naked.
2. Bring food.
3. And beer.

What it Takes to Make a Man Happy....

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:00:00 PM

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a m...

TELEGRAM #1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as : Father, your daughter has been successful in BED." *

TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife :
"I wish you were here."
The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."

TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation co! unter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as: "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."

TELEGRAM #4
A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party.
So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".

The salesman asks "how do you want me to put it?" The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top & "You are getting better" at the bottom.

The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake: "You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the bottom".

TELEGRAM #5
A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi. When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.
He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted. It was written: 'sethji aaj mar gaye! ( Sethji Ajmer gaye ).

Telegrams....

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:27:00 AM

TELEGRAM #1 A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as : Father, your daughter has b...

Din hua hai to raat bhi hogi, Ho mat udas kabhi to baat bhi hogi.
Itne pyar se dosti ki hai, Khuda ki kasam jindagi rahi to mulaqat bhi hogi.

Dosti....

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:24:00 AM

Din hua hai to raat bhi hogi, Ho mat udas kabhi to baat bhi hogi. Itne pyar se dosti ki hai, Khuda ki kasam jindagi rahi to mulaqat bhi hogi.

The whole neighborhood shook from the ear splitting explosion in a nearby Pharmacy. As 911 was called, shopkeepers ran outside to see what happened, people spotted the pharmacist staggering out of his smoldering building.

His white uniform was now scorched black. He looked like Frankenstein. He went up to a shaken & shivering old lady standing nearby.

"Lady!" he said, "Would you please ask your doctor to write that prescription again. & this time insist he better, PRINT IT!"

Damn Doctor...

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:23:00 AM

The whole neighborhood shook from the ear splitting explosion in a nearby Pharmacy. As 911 was called, shopkeepers ran outside to see what h...

LOVE IS.......
Being happy for the other person when they are happy.
Being sad for the other person when they are sad.
Being together in good times n bad times.
Love is the source of strength.

LOVE IS...
Being honest with yourself at all times.
Being honest with the other person at all times.
Telling, listening, respecting the truth and never pretending.
Love is the source of reality.

LOVE IS...
An understanding which is so complete,
That you feel as if you are a part of the other person.
Accepting the other person just the way they are
And not trying to change them to be someone else.
Love is the source of unity.

LOVE IS...
The freedom to purse your own desires,
while sharing your experiences with the other person.
The growth of one individual along side of
and together with the growth of another individual.
Love is the source of success.

LOVE IS...
The excitement of planning things together.
The excitement of doing things together.
Love is the source of the future.

LOVE IS...
The fury of the storm.
The calm of the rainbow.
Love is the source of passion.

LOVE IS...
Giving and taking in daily situation.
Being patient with each other needs and desires.
Love is the source of sharing.

LOVE IS...
Knowing that the other person will always be with you, regardless of what happens.
Missing the other person when they are away, but remaining near in the heart at all times.
love is the source of security.

Understand Wht is love....

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:21:00 AM

LOVE IS....... Being happy for the other person when they are happy. Being sad for the other person when they are sad. Being together in goo...

A wacky suspected terrorist was put under intense observation of nations best psychiatrists in a mental hospital. All day long he would keep his ear to the wall, listening. The team of doctors would watch this movement from one way glass every day.

The head doctor finally ventured with his anti-bomb suite to see what the guy was listening to. So he came inside put his ear up to the wall and listened for long. He heard nothing.

He turned to the mental terrorist and said, "I don't hear anything."

The mental terrorist smiled and said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months."

====
It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: "The music is nothing if the audience is deaf."

Via: E-Mail.

Signal Awaiting.........

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:05:00 AM

A wacky suspected terrorist was put under intense observation of nations best psychiatrists in a mental hospital. All day long he would keep...

1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Fooling around in a twin sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
10. U're the one calling the police 'cause the darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen & antacids, not condoms & pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff,'
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & Ho-Ho's.
23. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

Top 25 Signs That You've Already Grown Up

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:01:00 AM

1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Fooling around in a twin sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM...

Authensity not known, forwarded E-mail...

Just thought I`d share this with you. Because many people forget to respect females as well as each other many times.

An incident took place in Pune - a young girl was raped by a man posing as a plain clothes officer; he asked her to come to the police station when she and her male friend didn't have a driver's license to show.

He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany him to the police station. Took her instead to an isolated area where the horrendous crime was committed.

The law [which most are not aware of] clearly states that between 6 pm & 6 am, a woman has the right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her. It is a procedural issue that a woman can be arrested between 6 pm & 6 am, ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer and taken to an ALL WOMEN police station. And if she is arrested by a male officer, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of arrest.

Please send this to as many girls you know.. Also to boys.. coz this can help them protect their wives, sisters & mothers. It is good for us to know our rights. To what extent it comes of use remains to be seen in any situation. But as they say, knowledge is power.

Women Rights.......

by Devesh Prabhu on 10:58:00 AM

Authensity not known, forwarded E-mail... Just thought I`d share this with you. Because many people forget to respect females as well as eac...

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
----------------------

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then, what is my age?
STUDENT: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old & she is half mad.
----------------------

Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: Well, I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door & says, 'God, are you still in there?'
----------------------

Teacher: "What is your name?".
Student: "Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher: "When I ask aquestion in english, answer it in english."
Student: "My name is Sunlight."

Old Jokes....

by Devesh Prabhu on 10:48:00 AM

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why?...

A farmer walked into a attoney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attoney asked: "How may I help you?"

The farmer said; "Yea, I want to get me one of those Day-vorces."

The attorney said; "Do you have any grounds?"

The farmer said; "Yea, I got about 140 acres."

The attorney said; "No sir, you don't understand, do you have a case?"

The farmer said; "No I don't have a case, but I have a John Deere....."

The attorney said; "No, you don't understand, do you have any grudges?"

The farmer said; "Yea I have a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."

The attorney said; "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"

"Yea, I have a suit wear it to Church on Sundays."

The attorney said; "Well sir, does you wife beat you up or anything?"

The farmer said; "No sir, we both get up at 04:30."

Fanally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "Why do you want a divorce?"

And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.

Divorce....?

by Devesh Prabhu on 10:46:00 AM

A farmer walked into a attoney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attoney asked: "How may I help you?" The farmer sai...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, & they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on & on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

She replied, "Darling, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

Handsome Man......

by Devesh Prabhu on 10:44:00 AM

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't...

One night in a sleepy town the chemical plant explodes into flames. The alarm goes out and departments from miles around race to the scene. After fighting the fire for over an hour the chemical company president approaches the fire chief, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company
that brings them out safely!"

With this the firemen attack with a renewed gusto. Two hours later they still have not gained any ground. With this the company president offers $100,000 to the engine company that brings out the company's secret files. In the distance a lone siren is heard and soon another fire truck comes into sight. The fire chief realizes that is that little rinky-dink volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. Much to his amazement the fire engine races through the chemical plant gates and drives right into the middle of the inferno. He can see these old timers hopping off their rig and fighting the fire with an effort that he has never seen before.

Less than an hour later the fire is out and the secret formulas have been saved by this group of volunteers! The chemical company president is so estatic he doubles the reward to $200,000! After thanking the volunteers the chemical company president can't help but ask what they will do with the reward money.

The driver looks him right in the eye... "First thing we do is fix the damn brakes on that truck!"

Chemical Plant.........

by Devesh Prabhu on 10:30:00 AM

One night in a sleepy town the chemical plant explodes into flames. The alarm goes out and departments from miles around race to the scene. ...

"How long will you be poring over that newspaper? Will you come here right away & make your darling daughter eat her food?"

I tossed the paper away & rushed to the scene. My only daughter Sindu looked frightened. Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice.

Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age. She has just turned eight. She particularly detested Curd Rice. My mother & my wife are orthodox & believe firmly in the 'cooling effects' of Curd Rice. I cleared my throat & picked up the bowl.

"Sindu, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this Curd Rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear. If you don't, your Mom will shout at me."

I could sense my wife's scowl behind my back. Sindu softened a bit & wiped her tears with the back of her hands. "OK, Dad. I will eat not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should..." Sindu hesitated. "Dad, if I eat this entire Curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?" "Oh sure, darling."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine & clinched the deal.

"Ask Mom also to give a similar promise," my daughter insisted. My wife slapped her hand on Sindu's muttering "Promise," without any emotion.

Now I became a bit anxious. "Sindu, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. OK?"

"No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive."

Slowly & painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife & my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested.

After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All of our attention was on her.

"Dad, I want to have my head shaved off this Sunday," was her demand!

"Atrocious!" shouted my wife, "a girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!"

"Never in our family!" my mother rasped. "She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!"

"Sindu, why don't you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head."

"No, Dad. I do not want anything else," Sindu said with finality.

"Please Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?" I tried to plead with her.

"Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice," Sindu was in tears. "And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra & its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?"

It was time for me to call the shots. "Our promise must be kept."

"Are you out your mind?" chorused my mother & wife.

"No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honour her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled."

With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, & her eyes looked big & beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around & waved.

I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, & shouted, "Sinduja, please wait for me!"

What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. "Maybe that is the `in' stuff," I thought.

"Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!" Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, & continued, "That boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from leukemia."

She paused to muffle her sobs. "Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all of his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates.

"Sinduja visited him last week & promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son! Sir, you & your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter."

I stood transfixed. & then, I wept.

"My little Angel, will you teach me what love is?"

True promise

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:09:00 AM

"How long will you be poring over that newspaper? Will you come here right away & make your darling daughter eat her food?" I ...

My Rose........

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:29:00 PM

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost
control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.

IMPACT OF JOB-CHANGE....

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:25:00 PM

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, we...

Hunt Your Man......

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:13:00 PM

Let's Play.....

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:54:00 PM

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everthing that they had..

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every out come is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later...

Special Thoughts....

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:49:00 PM

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in t...

Have not talked to you in a while
& just wanted to know what's going on?
You are, like, one of my best friends
& I really miss you when we are apart.
So please keep in touch!

Hey Girlfriend......

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:40:00 PM

Have not talked to you in a while & just wanted to know what's going on? You are, like, one of my best friends & I really miss y...

You & mom were unaware that a life sparked to existence the other day. Orgasm. That’s what I was called & that’s what you thought I was. I heard you & mom crying out in joy. I was happy for that. From then on, I chuckled whenever I heard more & more cries of joy. More & more orgasms, I thought. I heard your friends praise you & mom, praise your years of indefatigable love. I came to know how wonderful a couple you were. I was proud of that.

When I was beginning to enjoy my anonymity, I heard some sad tales. I learnt how you were gifted by abandonment by your kith & kin against your love marriage. I came to know how lonely you were & how sadly you were starving for relationships. I am here papa! I am here! I wanted to shout. I never wanted to see you cry.

I remember the day when mom visited the doctor for a minor check-up, only to know that a little life was safely resting in the warmness of her womb. ‘You are pregnant!’ the doctor said & she cried out in joy & disbelief! You hugged mom & thanked the Almighty with moist eyes.

From that moment, my anonymity was long gone & I was a celebrity attracting all your attention! Daily as soon as you were home, you would say a ‘hi’ to me by kissing mom on her stomach & would talk to me for sometime. More than mom, I used to await your arrival back home for your ‘hi’! & with your ‘hi’ you made me your best friend. You were my best friend too, papa.

Relaxing myself in the cushion of the womb, I used to enjoy your mock arguments with mom over my gender! While mom wanted a boy, you were desperate for a girl, a girl who would look just like mom. Of course I am a girl papa! How can your best friend ever betray you?? & when the sonogram revealed that the life inside was of a girl’s, you jumped in exaltation & victory. “Jr. Yashi”, that’s how you used to call me, & I loved it. What better a pet name than assuming mom’s name?? Again, you & mom would debate & quarrel over my real name. No wonder I never was bored inside the womb!

But, I found the place inside the womb getting squeezed up day by day. I knew any slightest attempt for freedom might pain mom to death. But one day, I couldn’t help but slid down mom’s stomach & break free. I was born!!

‘It’s a girl!!’ the nurse announced & only I knew the bounds of your joy coz it showed in your kiss you gave me & mom. Though my tender eyes couldn’t see you, some strange force lifted my hand & my fingers clung to your finger, which you had held out for me. It was my promise to you then, that I would hold your hand forever. You acknowledged my promise with your tears that fell on my forehead. I knew those tears were a result of years of longingness.

Your tears then, were my first showers papa! When I opened my eyes fully for the first time, all I could see were wires & more wires. I thought I missed mother’s womb. I wanted to see you & mom in all my desperation before something told me I wouldn’t last long. How terrible it would be to miss the glimpse of my only friends??

Slowly but steadily, everything was blurring out, & I saw two figures running near me crying. I knew it were you & mom. It took my last ounce of energy to keep my eyes open till I could see both of you in all my limited clarity. But yippe I saw you! I saw my mom & dad. Guess how you both looked like?? You & mom appeared to be two fairies to me. Two fairies in a helpless cry though. The expectant look in your eyes said you still had a hope; & I felt I was the guiltiest soul on earth, about to kill the hope in the eyes of you & mom! God would never forgive me. You held out your finger to me but alas it was too late. Before I could lift the hand, everything faded out like a distant dream.

Who would ever want to miss life with such a wonderful mom & dad? My friends here asked my name & I was endlessly happy when I told I was Jr.Yashi. I thought, in a way, I wouldn’t have had the privilege of assuming that name had I lived any longer. My friends also discuss something about savoring mother’s milk, swinging in the cradle, playing with their first toy, sleeping in mom’s lap etc. & when they asked me what I enjoyed the most, I said I enjoyed your hi’s the most papa. I said I enjoyed the love in my first showers. More than everything, I said I enjoyed being born to you & mom. What else matters to me my papa?

And what was my last wish do you know?? My only wish then was to know how I looked like. I knew how you would have loved to say I looked just like mom. Instead, you kept weeping & I wasn’t sure I looked like mom. Did I?? Did I look like mom, papa??

I would get drenched in your love whenever you shed tears for me. Every time you say a ‘Miss you’ from down there, it’s an ‘I love you’ to me up here. I want to say I love you too, but I miss my voice. I want to shout from here that I love you both; but alas my vocal chord was muted. I knew I broke my promise of holding your hand forever. But papa, I never knew my ‘forever’ would be so very momentary, like a passing cloud.

God here actually granted me to be reborn to someone else. But I said I would wait for a lifetime to be born only to you & mom. If I have another life, it would only be with you & mom. Won’t I ever get a second chance papa?? Because I miss you. I miss mom.

Oh Papa! I miss my life.

The End.

Via: E-mail Forward.

The Auto-Biography of a Baby.......

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:46:00 AM

You & mom were unaware that a life sparked to existence the other day. Orgasm. That’s what I was called & that’s what you thought I ...

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Just found out. My wife does."

Vodka....

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:39:00 AM

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one...

If it is very boring for you in the office, here are some tips.

Try at least few of them:
1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.

3. Count your fingers (and toes if you get bored).

4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else chair just to irritate him/her.

5. Send mails from ms-mail 2 your internet mail & read them there, & note down the time they take to reach there.

6. Watch other people changing their facial expressions while working & try changing your expressions also.

7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.

8. Have work breaks in between tea.

9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.

10. Read jokes & send jokes.

11. Revise last week's newspaper.

12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.

14. Compile "How to waste your day"

15. Pick up phone & dial non existing no.s

16. Make faces at strangers in office.

17. Count maximum no of applications your computer & open at a time.

18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin & restore them.. Then repeat this process.

19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have looked when(s) he was 5 years old.

20. Learn to whistle.

21. Make full use of the comfortable chair & table provided & take a nap.

Getting Board in Office.....

by Devesh Prabhu on 7:27:00 AM

If it is very boring for you in the office, here are some tips. Try at least few of them: 1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quit...

US PRESIDENT JOB OUTSOURCED
Washington -- Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of December 31, 2005. The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary, & also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures & related overhead the office has incurred during the last five years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President as of January 1, 2006.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the U.S. & India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the U.S. Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem because Mr. Bush was not familiar with the issues either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these pre-prepared responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Mr. Bush has abandoned the "down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent & on top of the Katrina situation.

Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, & salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume & prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. A greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Mr. Bush's extensive experience shaking hands & phony smile

Another possibility is Mr. Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague, but should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit he once made to the Baghdad Airport's terminal & gift shop.

Via:E-Mail Forward. No Responsibility Taken.

Job Outsourcing...(The Limit)...

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:14:00 PM

US PRESIDENT JOB OUTSOURCED Washington -- Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outs...

This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert. A little long article but worth reading it!!!

Driving in Bangalore / India
For the benefit of every Tom, Dick & Harry visiting India & daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where U do your best, & leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically U start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, & proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery & occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.

Don't U get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. U may do so only if U enjoy being bumped in the back.

Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance & bare lust (two brisk blasts), or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. U may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally U might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights & weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw & an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil & creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight & dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded & packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare & also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, & are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels & makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol & travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them & are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes & during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings & the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning & proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that U cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as U like, in reverse throughout, if U are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash & fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water & drainage pipes for that residence & is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because U do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, & with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, & are licensed to kill. Often U may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching U with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. U may prove your point posthumously.

Happy Driving.

Driving in India...

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:33:00 PM

This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert. A little long article but wo...

Types Of Luv...

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:27:00 PM

My MBA.........

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:07:00 PM

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love, Dad.

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was:
"Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.
It's the best I could do for you from here."

Moral:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.

Father & Son.....

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:01:00 PM

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped hi...

Notice: Issued in public interest.

Dear All,

Have you seen recent advertisement of M/S SAINT GOBAIN GLASSES Shown in TV'S - Then you must have known about 2 Way mirror)

How to determine if a mirror is 2 way or not (Not a Joke!)?

Not to scare you, but to make sure that you aware. Many of the Hotels And Textile showrooms cheat the customers this way & watch privately.

HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR?
When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they can see you, but you can't see them. There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms.

It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at?

CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:
Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror.

However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There is someone seeing you from the other side). So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do.

This is a really good thing to do. The reason there is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass.

Whereas with a two-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms. May be someone is making a film on you.

Ladies: Share this with your friends.
Men: Share this with your sisters, wives, daughters, friends, colleagues, etc.
Pass this message to all Ur friends in the Contacts

Take care.

Via: E-Mail Forward.

Beware Of Mirrors

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:16:00 AM

Notice: Issued in public interest. Dear All, Have you seen recent advertisement of M/S SAINT GOBAIN GLASSES Shown in TV'S - Then you mus...

Question: What is the full form of maths.
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students.

Maths.

by Devesh Prabhu on 7:58:00 AM

Question: What is the full form of maths. Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students.

1. Never do housework. No man ever loved a woman because the house was spotless.
2. Remember: you are known by the idiot you accompany.
3. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
5. So many men - so many reasons not to date any of them.
6. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all there.
7. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.
8. Never let your man's mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone.
9. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway.
10. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
11. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
12. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
13. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
14. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
15. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
16. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
17. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
18. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
19. Sadly, all men are created equal.
20. When he asks you if he's your first date, tell him "You may be, you look familiar."

Women's Compact Instruction Booklet

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:48:00 AM

1. Never do housework. No man ever loved a woman because the house was spotless. 2. Remember: you are known by the idiot you accompany. 3. D...

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him & want them to stop their relationship...... & so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1__ "The great love that I have for you
2__ is gone, & I find my dislike for you
3__ grows every day. When I see you,
4__ I do not even like your face;
5__ the one thing that I want to do is to
6__ look at other girls. I never wanted to
7__ marry you. Our last conversation
8__ was very boring & has not
9__ made me look forward to seeing you again.
10_ You think only of yourself.
11_ If we were married, I know that I would find
12_ life very difficult, & I would have no
13_ pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14_ to give, but it is not something that
15_ I want to give to you. No one is more
16_ foolish & selfish than you, & you are not
17_ able to care for me & help me.
18_ I sincerely want you to understand that
19_ I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20_ if you think this is the end. Do not try
21_ to answer this. Your letters are full of
22_ things that do not interest me. You have no
23_ true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24_ I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25_ I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13......... (Odd No.'s) go read it once again but the Odd Number lines..

Intelligent Lover's Love Letter

by Devesh Prabhu on 9:43:00 AM

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him & want them to stop their relationship.....

Subject: Men

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...

------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if! I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

------
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa & fart.

------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

------
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Via: E-mail Forward

Women....

by Devesh Prabhu on 9:39:00 AM

Subject: Men One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he sho...

In the last couple of days, SMS & email messages doing the rounds are claiming the official acceptance of two new words by Oxford Dictionary with reference to India - ‘bangalored’ and ‘ganguly’!

More Here>: Ganguly

Doing a ‘Ganguly’?

by Devesh Prabhu on 9:36:00 AM

In the last couple of days, SMS & email messages doing the rounds are claiming the official acceptance of two new words by Oxford Dictio...

Things 2 do when ur co-worker is on vacation....

by Devesh Prabhu on 8:46:00 AM

Please apply before or on 01 May....

Applications are invited for the following post. The package & incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior Girl Friend (JGF) [Trainee]
Experience : FRESHER [experienced candidate strictly prohibited]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Perks & Incentives:
Total gross [Monthly] : 3 gifts worth 300/-
30 bike rides each duration 2 hours
20 trips to MG Road/JM Road
5 Trips to Vinayak temple / Iskon Temple
10 Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
Daily Provision of Vada Pav / Samosa Pav / Pakoda worth of 5 /-
4 movies [Hindi Family movie only] per month on every weekend
Visits to Fashion Street & Shopper's Stop every Weekend
Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to Demand
Net Deductions [Monthly]: Provident Fund & Service taxes to be informed on joining.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
REFERRAL BONUS WILL BE GIVEN AS PER THE POLICY
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: [Ex-girl friends will not be eligible for any referral benefits]

Vacancy in my H--E--A--R--R--T

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:30:00 PM

Please apply before or on 01 May.... Applications are invited for the following post. The package & incentives are mentioned below. De...

#15."Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14."Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13."If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12."Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11."So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10."Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9."Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8."The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7."Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy , and step in monkey DOO."

#6."Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5."No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4."Just how big were those two beers?"

#3."In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC.."

#2."I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

#1"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Police Comments.........

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:27:00 PM

#15."Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." #14."Take y...

A 3-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.

He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in Ur stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

Then why did you eat him?..

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:12:00 PM

A 3-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "W...

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

Y its better to b a woman...?

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:08:00 PM

1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up...

Have fun!
Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at & what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn & the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit.

A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be: it will just colour your choice differently & give you a little insight.

Example: March 20, 1950
3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973
1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20
2 + 0 = 2

Keep going until you end up with a single digit number. 2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.

#1 THE ORIGINATOR
#2 THE PEACEMAKER
#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
#4 THE CONSERVATIVE
#5 THE NONCONFORMIST
#6 THE ROMANTIC
#7 THE INTELLECTUAL
#8 THE BIG SHOT
#9 THE PERFORMER

__________________________________
# 1 THE ORIGINATOR:
1s are originals. Coming up with new ideas & executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn & arrogant. 1s are extremely honest & do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative & are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn : Others' ideas might be just as good or better & to stay open minded.

Famous 1s: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.

#2 - THE PEACEMAKER:
2s are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs & moods & often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical & very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship & companionship is very important & can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem & express themselves freely & seize the moment & not put things off.

Famous 2s: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus, Mozart.

# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY:
3s are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, & easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy & go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular & idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.

Famous 3s: Alan Alder, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, SalvadorDali, Jodi Foster

# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE:
4s are sensible & traditional. They like order & routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty & working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors & feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait & can be stubborn & persistent. They should learn to be more flexible & to be nice to themselves.

Famous 4s: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey, Dimakatso Mabaso

# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST:
5s are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, & enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, & don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school & they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action & make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.

Famous 5s: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter,Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller & Mark Hail.

# 6 - THE ROMANTIC:
6s are idealistic & need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions ionnection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others & to help. They are very loyal & make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6s should learn to differentiate between what they can change & what they cannot.

Famous 6s: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Steep,Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn

#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL:
7s are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, & their motto is slow & steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers & being very knowledgeable, & sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined & make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world & should learn what is acceptable & what not in the world at large.

Famous 7s: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana

# 8 - THE BIG SHOT:
8s are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt & to the point, have good judgment & are decisive. They have grand plans & like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.

Famous 8s: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus, & Ron Connolly

#9 - THE PERFORMER:
9s are natural entertainers. They are very caring & generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends & nobody is a stranger to them.They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing & blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune & mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.

Famous 9s: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

Birth Test:

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:51:00 AM

Have fun! Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at & what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to l...

Aries
Your kisses are quick & passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there & then gone.

Taurus
Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on.

Gemini
Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.

Cancer
Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let them go.

Leo
Your kisses are wild & uninhibited, biting & clawing; you expect applause for your performance.

Virgo
Your kisses are so subtle & tidy, your lover only notices them once you've finished.

Libra
You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into your kisses.

Scorpio
You skip the kiss and get straight to whatever comes next for you.

Sagittarius
Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leave the kissed wanting more.

Capricorn
Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from the stress of your day.

Aquarius
Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyes open.

Pisces
Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.

Ur Zodiac & The Way U Kiss

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:49:00 AM

Aries Your kisses are quick & passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there & then gone. Taurus Your kisses linger; they are de...

01. Call an old friend, just to say hi.
02. Hold a door open for a stranger.
03. Invite someone to lunch.
04. Compliment someone on his or her appearance.
05. Ask a coworker for their opinion on a project.
06. Bring cookies to work.
07. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
08. Leave a waitress or waiter a big tip.
09. Tell a cashier to have a nice day.
10. Call your parents.
11. Let someone know you miss them.
12. Treat someone to a movie.
13. Let a person know you really appreciate them.
14. Visit a retirement center.
15. Take a child to the zoo.
16. Fill up your spouse's car with gas.
17. Surprise someone with a small gift.
18. Leave a thank-you note for the cleaning staff at work.
19. Write a letter to a distant relative.
20. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
21. Put a dime in a stranger's parking meter before the time expires.
22. Bake a cake for a neighbor.
23. Send someone flowers to where they work.
24. Invite a friend to tea.
25. Recommend a good book to someone.
26. Donate clothing to a charity.
27. Offer an elderly person a ride to where they need to go.
28. Bag your own groceries at the checkout counter.
29. Give blood.
30. Offer free baby-sitting to a friend who's really busy or just needs a break.
31. Help your neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow.
32. Offer your seat to someone when there aren't any left.
33. Help someone with a heavy load.
34. Ask to see a store's manager and comment on the great service.
35. Give your place in line at the grocery store to someone who has only a few items.
36. Hug someone in your family for no reason.
37. Wave to a child in the car next to you.
38. Send a thank-you note to your doctor.
39. Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.
40. Leave a joke on someone's answering machine.
41. Be a mentor or coach to someone.
42. Forgive a loan.
43. Fill up the copier machine with paper after you're done using it.
44. Tell someone you believe in them.
45. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
46. Welcome new neighbors with flowers or a plant.
47. Offer to watch a friend's home while they're away.
48. Ask someone if they need you to pick up anything while you're out shopping.
49. Ask a child to play a board game, and let them win.
50. Ask an elderly person to tell you about the good old days.
51. During bad weather, plan an indoor picnic with the family.
52. Buy someone a goldfish and bowl.
53. Compliment someone on their cooking and politely ask for a second helping.
54. Dance with someone who hasn't been asked.
55. Tell someone you mentioned them in your prayers.
56. Give children's clothes to another family when your kids outgrow them.
57. Deliver extra vegetables from your garden to the whole neighborhood.
58. Call your spouse just to say, I love you.
59. Call someone's attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
60. Invite someone to go bowling.
61. Figure out someone's half-birthday by adding 182 days, & surprise thm with a cake.
62. Ask someone about their children.
63. Tell someone which quality you like most about them.
64. Brush the snow off of the car next to yours.
65. Return your shopping cart to the front of the store.
66. Encourage someone's dream, no matter how big or small it is.
67. Pay for a stranger's cup of coffee without them knowing it.
68. Leave a love letter where your partner will find it.
69. Ask an older person for their advice.
70. Offer to take care of someone's pet while they're away.
71. Tell a child you're proud of them.
72. Visit a sick person, or send them a care package.
73. Join a Big Brother or Sister program.
74. Leave a piece of candy on a coworker's desk.
75. Bring your child to work with you for the afternoon.
76. Give someone a recording of their favorite music.
77. Email a friend some information about a topic they are especially interested in.
78. Give someone a homemade gift.
79. Write a poem for someone.
80. Bake some cookies for your local fire or police department.
81. Organize a neighborhood cleanup and have a barbecue afterwards.
82. Help a child build a birdhouse or similar project.
83. Check in on an old person, just to see if they're okay.
84. Ask for the recipe after you eat over at someone's house.
85. Personally welcome a new employee at work and offer to take them out for lunch.
86. While in a car, ask everyone to buckle up because they are important to you.
87. Let someone else eat the last slice of cake or pizza.
88. Stop and buy a drink from a kid's lemonade stand.
89. Forgive someone when they apologize.
90. Wave 2 someone looking 4 a parking space when u're abt 2 leave a shopping center.
91. Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.
92. Leave a pint of your spouse's favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer with a bow on it.
93. Do a household chore that is usually done by someone else in the family.
94. Be especially happy for someone when they tell you their good news.
95. Compliment a coworker on their role in a successful project.
96. Give your spouse a spontaneous back rub at the end of the day.
97. Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed.
98. Ask someone if they've lost weight.
99. Make a donation to a charity in someone's honor.
100. Take a child to a ballgame.

And last, but not least...

101. Forward this list to your favorite people!

101 ways to make you smile

by Devesh Prabhu on 11:29:00 AM

01. Call an old friend, just to say hi. 02. Hold a door open for a stranger. 03. Invite someone to lunch. 04. Compliment someone on his or h...

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