Women....

Subject: Men

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...

------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if! I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

------
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa & fart.

------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

------
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Via: E-mail Forward