How To Be Perfectly Miserable

1. Think about yourself.

2. Talk about yourself.

3. Use the personal pronoun "I" as often as possible in your conversation.

4. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.

5. Listen greedily to what people say about you.

6. Insist on consideration and respect.

7. Demand agreement with your own views on everything.

8. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.

9. Never forget a service you may have rendered.

10. Expect to be appreciated.

11. Be suspicious.

12. Be sensitive to slights.

13. Be jealous and envious.

14. Never forget a criticism.

15. Trust nobody but yourself.