Some good old sayings...........

There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, my salary isn't sufficient!!

I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.

Home is where the television is.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

Death is hereditary.

Many things can be preserved in alcohol.Dignity is not one of them.

Never argue with a fool.People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers.When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.

Well done is better than well said.

Everyone makes mistakes.The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

Always borrow money from a pessimist.He won't expect it back.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

I like work.It fascinates me.I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.

Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.

Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.

There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side, and the right side.

An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.