My mother taught me...

The Things That Only A Mum Can Teach!

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were U thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! ...Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If U fall out of that swing & break your neck, U are not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If U don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If U don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't U think I know when you're cold?"

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If U don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

10. My Mother taught me about SEX....
"How do U think U got here?"

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do U think U were born in a barn?"

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When U get to be my age, U will understand.

14. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE....
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

15. My mother taught me RELIGION...
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

16. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL...
"If U don't do your chores, I'm going to knock U into the middle of next week!"

17. My mother taught me REASONING...
"Because I said so, that's why."

18. My mother taught me IRONY...
"Keep laughing & I'll *give* U something to cry about."

19. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS..
"Shut your mouth & eat your supper!"

20. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM...
"Will U look at the dirt on the back of your shirt!"

21. My mother taught me about WEATHER...
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

22. My mother taught me how to solve FRIENDSHIP...
"If your friends jumped off a bridge, would U do it?"

23. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION..
"Stop acting like your father!"

24. My mother taught me about ENVY...
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like U do!"

25. & my all time favorite... JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, & I hope they turn out just like U.... Then U'll see what it's like."