What guys really mean...............

And here's what guys really mean...

"I'M GOING FISHIN."
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, & stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING."
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, & you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR."
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN."
"I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
"Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed & the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

" WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
"What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, & am hoping desperately that I can fake it well the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
"I am used to the way you yell at me, & realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
"No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."