DILBERT'S LAWS
*I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
*I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
*Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
*Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
*Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
*I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
*My reality check bounced.
*On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
*I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
*Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
*Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
*A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick on the butt.
*After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
*Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
*If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
*Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
*To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
*Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
*If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
*When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
*Following the rules will not get the job done.
*Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
*The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
*I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
*Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
*Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
*Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
*I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
*My reality check bounced.
*On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
*I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
*Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
*Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
*A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick on the butt.
*After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
*Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
*If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
*Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
*To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
*Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
*If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
*When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
*Following the rules will not get the job done.
*Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
*The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Posts
