Know Your Boyfriend
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
3:33:00 AM
Know Your Girlfriend
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
3:29:00 AM
You can’t replace the battery; you will have to take the whole works to an Apple center where the asking price for a new battery is nearly $90 equivalent. The device is an iPod built into a phone, great sound & picture included - but with the corollary that you have to embrace Apple’s proprietary iTunes format.
iPhone's Lacunae:
1. No voice dialling.
2. No video recording.
3. No phone-to-phone photo sending (at least not easily)
4. A fairly ordinary camera with no zoom or flash.
5. No additional memory card slot (!).
One thing will hamper everyone, for now: until 3G speeds are offered in India, using the iPhone will be like buying a F1 racer to do your daily office commute. But at the inaugural price of Rs. 31,000/Rs 36,100 for the 8/16 GB respectively versions in India potential buyers are going to flaunt their phones; not necessarily use them to full functionality.
(The phone will only unlock with the service provider’s SIM card which is installed. Currently the choice is between Airtel & Vodafone.)
iPhone's Lacunae:
1. No voice dialling.
2. No video recording.
3. No phone-to-phone photo sending (at least not easily)
4. A fairly ordinary camera with no zoom or flash.
5. No additional memory card slot (!).
One thing will hamper everyone, for now: until 3G speeds are offered in India, using the iPhone will be like buying a F1 racer to do your daily office commute. But at the inaugural price of Rs. 31,000/Rs 36,100 for the 8/16 GB respectively versions in India potential buyers are going to flaunt their phones; not necessarily use them to full functionality.
(The phone will only unlock with the service provider’s SIM card which is installed. Currently the choice is between Airtel & Vodafone.)
Apple iPhone Idiosyncrasy
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
5:48:00 AM
You can’t replace the battery; you will have to take the whole works to an Apple center where the asking price for a new battery is nearly $...
One Port is enough dude...; Otherwise, it might just be the last connection you make.
Issued in Public Interest
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
10:08:00 PM
One Port is enough dude...; Otherwise, it might just be the last connection you make.
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body".
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, Stuck his finger in the butt of the dead pig, withdrew it and stuck his Finger in his mouth. "Go ahead & do the same thing," he told his Students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead pig & sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them & said, "The Second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger & sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.. Life's Tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
Via Email: Ajay Kumar Pathak
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body".
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, Stuck his finger in the butt of the dead pig, withdrew it and stuck his Finger in his mouth. "Go ahead & do the same thing," he told his Students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead pig & sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them & said, "The Second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger & sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.. Life's Tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
Via Email: Ajay Kumar Pathak
Life's Tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
9:41:00 PM
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig. They all gathered arou...
1. Lives are for living I live for you
Dreams are for dreaming I dream for you
Hearts are for beating mine beats for you
Angels are for keeping. Can I keep you?
2. You are like the sunshine so warm, you are like sugar, so sweet.... you are like you... & that's the reason why I love you!
3. You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, & i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always...
4. If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I'd still miss you, but at least I would be rich enough to come & see you..!!
5. If I die & go to heaven, I'll put your name on a golden star. So that all the angels can see, how much you mean to me.
6. I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each day more & more!
7. Love is hard & will always be, but remember somebody loves you & that one is ME !
8. I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too big !
9. If you live to be a hundred , I want to be a hundred minus one day , so I don't have to live a day without you.
10. There are a lot of birds whispering only about you, you should once listen to them, then you would know how much I love you.
11. When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, 'cause I did it & I found you!
12. I hope that you finally understand, that I will love you until the end, because your not just my girl, you are also my best friend!
13. Kiss me & you will see stars ....Love me & I will give them to you.
14. My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!
15. The day that I'll die, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize angels' faces, 'cus I live with one on earth.
16. Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrifice!
17. If you were a tear I would never dare to cry. I might lose you!
18. If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.
19. If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night & stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas!
20. If you are mad at me, you might just as well give me all my kisses back!
21. One day you will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will say: my life You will walk away from me without knowing that YOU ARE MY LIFE!
22. I have seen angels in the sky, I have seen snowfall in July, I have seen things u only imagine to see, But I haven't seen anything sweeter than you.
23.True love is hard to find. Special 1-1 of a kind. But the love inside of me is true. It appeared the day I met you!
24. I believe that God above created you for me to love. He picked you out from all the rest cause He knew I'd love you the best!
25. If I died or went somewhere far, I'd write your name on every star so everyone could look up & see you mean the world to me.
26.I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
27. Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until the end of time.
28. Last night I looked up at the stars & matched each one with a reason why I love you I was doing great, but then I ran out of stars.
29. If you live for 100 more days, then I want to live for 100 more days minus one so that I'd never have to live without you.
30. They say you only fall in love once, it can't be true. Every time I look at you, I fall in love all over again.
31. I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind.
32.Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.
33. If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, just know that you are in my heart. You'll be in there forever!
34.Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?
35.You can fall from the sky, you can fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.
36. If I had a rose for every time I thought about you Id be walking in a garden forever.
37.I wrote your name in the sand but the waves washed it away. I wrote your name on my hand but I washed it the next day. I wrote your name on a paper but I accidentally threw it away. I wrote your name in my heart & forever it will stay.
38.If I can only be with you in my dreams then I'll sleep for ever.
39.Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for. So wait for me, I'll be right back.
40. Why is it that I have to climb 1000 mountains to get to you & all you have to do is smile to get to me?
41. If I got a penny every time I thought of you I'd be a millionaire by tomorrow.
42. If you stood in front of a mirror & held up a dozen roses you would see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.
43.A day without you is like a day without light because you light up my life.
44. Is it true? Can it be? Are you the only one for me?
45. Tonight I ask the stars above. How I'll ever win your love. What do I do.What do I say. To turn your angel eyes my way?
46.The shortest word for me is "I"
The sweetest word for me is "love"
The only word for me is "you!"
47. The way you look into my eyes, It scares me
The way you say "I love you", It scares me
The way you know just what to say, It scares me
The ways you scare me, I love it
48. Good days come often, Bad days do too, But the best days only come when I'm with you.
49. You tripped me, so I fell for you.
50. I will love you until my heart stops beating.
Dreams are for dreaming I dream for you
Hearts are for beating mine beats for you
Angels are for keeping. Can I keep you?
2. You are like the sunshine so warm, you are like sugar, so sweet.... you are like you... & that's the reason why I love you!
3. You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, & i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always...
4. If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I'd still miss you, but at least I would be rich enough to come & see you..!!
5. If I die & go to heaven, I'll put your name on a golden star. So that all the angels can see, how much you mean to me.
6. I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each day more & more!
7. Love is hard & will always be, but remember somebody loves you & that one is ME !
8. I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too big !
9. If you live to be a hundred , I want to be a hundred minus one day , so I don't have to live a day without you.
10. There are a lot of birds whispering only about you, you should once listen to them, then you would know how much I love you.
11. When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, 'cause I did it & I found you!
12. I hope that you finally understand, that I will love you until the end, because your not just my girl, you are also my best friend!
13. Kiss me & you will see stars ....Love me & I will give them to you.
14. My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!
15. The day that I'll die, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize angels' faces, 'cus I live with one on earth.
16. Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrifice!
17. If you were a tear I would never dare to cry. I might lose you!
18. If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.
19. If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night & stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas!
20. If you are mad at me, you might just as well give me all my kisses back!
21. One day you will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will say: my life You will walk away from me without knowing that YOU ARE MY LIFE!
22. I have seen angels in the sky, I have seen snowfall in July, I have seen things u only imagine to see, But I haven't seen anything sweeter than you.
23.True love is hard to find. Special 1-1 of a kind. But the love inside of me is true. It appeared the day I met you!
24. I believe that God above created you for me to love. He picked you out from all the rest cause He knew I'd love you the best!
25. If I died or went somewhere far, I'd write your name on every star so everyone could look up & see you mean the world to me.
26.I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
27. Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until the end of time.
28. Last night I looked up at the stars & matched each one with a reason why I love you I was doing great, but then I ran out of stars.
29. If you live for 100 more days, then I want to live for 100 more days minus one so that I'd never have to live without you.
30. They say you only fall in love once, it can't be true. Every time I look at you, I fall in love all over again.
31. I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind.
32.Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.
33. If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, just know that you are in my heart. You'll be in there forever!
34.Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?
35.You can fall from the sky, you can fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.
36. If I had a rose for every time I thought about you Id be walking in a garden forever.
37.I wrote your name in the sand but the waves washed it away. I wrote your name on my hand but I washed it the next day. I wrote your name on a paper but I accidentally threw it away. I wrote your name in my heart & forever it will stay.
38.If I can only be with you in my dreams then I'll sleep for ever.
39.Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for. So wait for me, I'll be right back.
40. Why is it that I have to climb 1000 mountains to get to you & all you have to do is smile to get to me?
41. If I got a penny every time I thought of you I'd be a millionaire by tomorrow.
42. If you stood in front of a mirror & held up a dozen roses you would see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.
43.A day without you is like a day without light because you light up my life.
44. Is it true? Can it be? Are you the only one for me?
45. Tonight I ask the stars above. How I'll ever win your love. What do I do.What do I say. To turn your angel eyes my way?
46.The shortest word for me is "I"
The sweetest word for me is "love"
The only word for me is "you!"
47. The way you look into my eyes, It scares me
The way you say "I love you", It scares me
The way you know just what to say, It scares me
The ways you scare me, I love it
48. Good days come often, Bad days do too, But the best days only come when I'm with you.
49. You tripped me, so I fell for you.
50. I will love you until my heart stops beating.
Romantic Messages
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:58:00 PM
1. Lives are for living I live for you Dreams are for dreaming I dream for you Hearts are for beating mine beats for you Angels are for keep...
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor & the nurse walked out & said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room & announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up & said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up & started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room & announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up & said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up & started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Doctor Doctor...
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:54:00 AM
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor & the nurse walked out & said to the man sitting...
Lesson 6: 6-Lesson Management Course
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Management Course (No Offence Intended)
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:36:00 AM
Lesson 6: 6-Lesson Management Course A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground int...
Lesson 5: 6-Lesson Management Course
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Management Course (No Offence Intended)
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:34:00 AM
Lesson 5: 6-Lesson Management Course A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sig...
Lesson 4: 6-Lesson Management Course
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Management Course (No Offence Intended)
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:33:00 AM
Lesson 4: 6-Lesson Management Course An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, '...
Lesson 3: 6-Lesson Management Course
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.
Management Course (No Offence Intended)
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:32:00 AM
Lesson 3: 6-Lesson Management Course A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oi...
Lesson 2: 6-Lesson Management Course
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Management Course (No Offence Intended)
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:31:00 AM
Lesson 2: 6-Lesson Management Course A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The p...
Lesson 1: 6-Lesson Management Course
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel & stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 & leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel & stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 & leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Management Course (No Offence Intended)
by
Devesh Prabhu
on
7:29:00 AM
Lesson 1: 6-Lesson Management Course A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. ...
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