~*~ hseved ~*~

An American journalist came to Afghanistan to see the state of western reforms. He was extremely disturbed to see the women still walk behind man & not together.

He interviewed one of the leading woman & asked her the reason why women in Afghanistan still walk behind men.

The woman artfully responded, "Land Mines".

Survival of Smartest....

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:41:00 PM

An American journalist came to Afghanistan to see the state of western reforms. He was extremely disturbed to see the women still walk behin...

I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insight with a classroom of students. As the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows and the class was nearly over, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there. With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, "Class is over. I would like to share with all of you, a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important.

"Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is the Powers way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day."

Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, "So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn't have to be something you see, it could be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground.

"Please look for these things, and cherish them. For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the 'stuff' of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at anytime it can all be taken away."

The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester.

Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.

Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot, or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.

Remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away . . .

A Story Worth Reading . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:47:00 AM

I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she ...

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We have to put on our marketing hats.
TRANSLATION: We have to put ethics aside.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: That's very interesting.
TRANSLATION: I disagree.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I don't disagree.
TRANSLATION: I disagree.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I don't totally disagree with you.
TRANSLATION: You may be right, but I don't care.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You have to show some flexibility.
TRANSLATION: You have to do it whether you want to or not.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We have an opportunity.
TRANSLATION: You have a problem.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You obviously put a lot of work into this.
TRANSLATION: This is awful.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: In a perfect world.
TRANSLATION: Just get it working and get it out the door.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Help me to understand.
TRANSLATION: I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You just don't understand our business.
TRANSLATION: We don't understand our business.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You need to see the big picture.
TRANSLATION: My boss thinks it's a good idea.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: My mind is made up. I am adamant on the subject. There is no room for discussion. But if you do want to discuss itfurther, my door is always open.
TRANSLATION: &%^$ you.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I appreciate your contribution.
TRANSLATION: @#%* you . . . !

Management Jargon . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:45:00 AM

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We have to put on our marketing hats. TRANSLATION: We have to put ethics aside. MANAGEMENT SPEAK: That's very interes...

Ask me, just one more time
To be yours, for ever more
To share, for better or worse
And this time I won’t let you go.

Tell me, just one more time
That you dream of me, and nothing else
That without me, you’re incomplete
And this time, I won’t be such a fool.

Hear me, just one more time
Forget all that I said before,
Why, I do not know
But now, I really want you back.

Look back just one more time,
See the smile fade away,
See these eyes longing,
Wishing you loved me again . . .

Wishing, You Loved Me Again . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:45:00 AM

Ask me, just one more time To be yours, for ever more To share, for better or worse And this time I won’t let you go. Tell me, just one mor...

My sweet beautiful angel.
Sent to me from above.
I am so grateful to have found you,
and I give you all my love.

You must have come from heaven,
because you have pretty little angel eyes.
When you gaze at me with them,
my heart begins to fly.

Your sweet angelic voice,
continuously rings in my ears.
With you by my side,
there is nothing I fear.

Whenever we are together,
You shine with a heavenly glow.
Your beautiful angel face,
raises me up from feeling low.

Yes, heaven is missing an angel,
because you are here with me.
You're my sweet, beautiful angel,
and I'll love you for eternity . . .

My Angel . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:45:00 AM

My sweet beautiful angel. Sent to me from above. I am so grateful to have found you, and I give you all my love. You must have come from he...

Life is ADVENTURE dare it.
Life is BEAUTY worship it.
Life is CHALLENGE meet it.
Life is DREAM realize it.
Life is ENDURANCE copewith it.
Life is FRAGRANCE smell it.
Life is GAME play it.
Life is HEAVEN take it.
Life is INITIATIVE take it.
Life is JOURNEY complete it.
Life is KEROSINE burn it.
Life is LOVE enjoy it.
Life is MYSTERY unfold it.
Life is NAME find it.
Life is OPPORTUNITY catch it.
Life is PROMISE fulfil it.
Life is QUSETION answer it.
Life is REALITY face it.
Life is SONG sing it.
Life is TIME utilize it.
Life is URAGE satisfy it.
Life is VOICE listen it.
Life is WEALTH acquire it.
Life is X? solve it.
Life is YEARNING go after it.
Life is ZENITH attain it . . .

ABC of Life . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:44:00 AM

Life is ADVENTURE dare it. Life is BEAUTY worship it. Life is CHALLENGE meet it. Life is DREAM realize it. Life is ENDURANCE copewith it. Li...

The greatest puzzle : LIFE
The greatest thought : GOD
The greatest mystery : DEATH
The greatest mistake : GIVING UP
The greatest need : COMMON SENSE
The greatest invention of the devil : WAR
The greatest secret of production : SAVING WASTE
The greatest bore : ONE WHO KEEPS TALKING AFTER HE HAS MADE HIS POINT
The greatest comfort : THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE DONE YOUR WORK WELL
The greatest sin : FEAR
The greatest blessing : GOOD HEALTH
The greatest law of nature : CAUSE AND EFFECT
The greatest gamble : SUBSTITUTING HOPE FOR FACT
The greatest joy : BEING NEEDED
The greatest opportunity : THE NEXT ONE
The greatest victory : VICTORY OVER YOURSELF
The greatest handicap : EGOTISM
The greatest loss : LOSS OF SELF-CONFIDENCE
The greatest waste : ALL THE TALENT & ABILITY THAT MOST OF US HAVE BUT NEVER QUITE GET AROUND TO USING

The greatest thing, bar none, in the world: LOVE.

LOVE FOR FAMILY, HOME, FRIENDS, NEIGHBOURS & FOR THE LAND IN WHICH WE ENJOY OUR FREEDOM.

The Greatest . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:43:00 AM

The greatest puzzle : LIFE The greatest thought : GOD The greatest mystery : DEATH The greatest mistake : GIVING UP The greatest need : COMM...

Because all good things don’t stay together, but often stay apart . . .

Moments that we’ve shared, cannot be jotted down on paper,
But nevertheless it was chemistry, not vapor,
You walked into my life, and made the deepest mark,
This ignited my fire, which gave birth to a spark,

When you are here, I have the world with me,
It is heaven; I wish it could be eternity,
We walked side by side,
Hand in hand, under the moonlight,
The touch of your hand, your presence worthwhile,
The warmth that you give me makes me feel so secure,
I will be with you in pain; I will be with you in cure!

As the sun rose, and a new day just began,
You leave my hand and told me it’s all done,
I know you have to go, but you’ll stay by my side,
That look in your eyes, just seems to tell me more,
Though, the parting is a pain, our love seems to grow,
You tell me not to cry, but, keep a positive heart,
“Because all good things don’t stay together, but often stay apart.”

The day is finally here, when you leave me all alone,
Like an orphan misses a mother, and a homeless misses a home,
The depth in your eyes, your touch and your feel,
Is what I’ll miss, I’ll miss you for real,
That passion and that care, you’ve showered on me,
Are all those special moments, and that’s what they are going to be.

If I had to give you something, that would remind you of me,
I’d give you a house full of memories,
Because memories are things that go deeper into time,
We can look back at them and revive all that, lasting for years to go,
We’ll build it together and cherish it forever,
All that we shared, we’d capture under lock and key,
And make a life in that house, which is ideal for you and me.

Its time for us to part, you’ll be at the other end of the world,
Both of us with a totally shattered heart,
My heart bleeds to see you depart,
I will wait for you with bated breath,
I will lead my life, but I will also fret,
Cause without you I am incomplete, the emptiness is there,
Only when you are with me again, will that hollowness disappear,
As the sun goes down, with autumn all around,
Till the waters are blue, I will wait for you,
I wish you luck for the times we‘re apart,
I will miss you, don’t worry I will convince my heart . . .

All good things don’t stay together, but often . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:17:00 AM

Because all good things don’t stay together, but often stay apart . . . Moments that we’ve shared, cannot be jotted down on paper, But neve...

You are the person who can give the meaning to our relation . . .

No word in the world can capture
the essence of our beautiful relation..
I can't able to find what's our relation is..
But I can say you are my breath,
you are my eyes, you are my everything..
How can i measure how much you are for me

At a first glance you are my Angel..
At a first chat, you are my sweet..
At a first smile , you are my heart..
I can't give any meaning to the nature, without you.
I thank god ,that I got the chance to see u
I thought you are the person who can give the meaning to our relation . . .

You are the person...

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:15:00 AM

You are the person who can give the meaning to our relation . . . No word in the world can capture the essence of our beautiful relation.....

When you said you love me & loves to talk to me,
And is falling into pieces when ever u see me.
I never cared nor mind it at all, but insulted you,
I was busy with my life and laughed at you with my friends.

I may never know how it’s like to be loved by you,
Now that you are gone after waiting for just a smile,
For two years or so, when your friends too asked u to forget,
Yesterday I heard from your friends how much u have suffered & loved me

And it made me desperately wanting to fall on my knees and cry,
I curse my pride and stupid ignorance; I had for so long,
Would I ever again find a true, mad & a deep lover, like you.
I guess I wont, even if I do it wont b the same, I was so blind.

The sun may rise & hide away in the deep blue sea,
Summer, winter autumn, all seasons may come and go.
My last wicked words to get rid of you, still echoes in mind,
Standing in the rain, I didn’t see your tears, & pain filled face.

Things may never b the same again, even though I want,
I won’t get a chance to make things right, though I desperately want.
Yes, your finals words are true, “pride makes the first fall”,
I wish I could turn back the time,but; all I could say is,
Thank you for loving me . . .

Pride and love . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:14:00 AM

When you said you love me & loves to talk to me, And is falling into pieces when ever u see me. I never cared nor mind it at all, but in...

At 4 Years : My daddy is great.

At 6 Years : My daddy knows everybody.

At 10 Years: My daddy is good but is short tempered & knows little less than my friend's Daddy.

At 12 Years : My daddy was very nice to me when I was young

At 14 Years : My daddy is getting fastidious.

At 16 Years : My daddy is not in line with the current times. Frankly he does not know anything.

At 18 Years : My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.

At 20 Years : Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.

At 25 Years : Daddy is objecting to everything. Don't know when he will understand the world.

At 30 Years : It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.

At 40 Years : Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. I wonder how he managed to handle the younger generation.

At 45 Years : I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.

At 50 Years : My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. (We were 4 brothers & sisters). I am unable to manage a single son.

At 55 Years : My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. Even at this old age, he is able to control things.He is one of his kind and unique.

At 60 Years : My daddy was great.

Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st stage! So, Realise it in time.

My daddy is great . . .

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:12:00 AM

At 4 Years : My daddy is great. At 6 Years : My daddy knows everybody. At 10 Years: My daddy is good but is short tempered & knows lit...

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester, we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.
I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing" There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You have to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it !
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old, lie in bed for one full year, and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old, stay in bed for a year, and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That does not take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually do not have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do . The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics & live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

A Special Story.......

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:14:00 AM

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to ...

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by.

She never tried to speak. She never said a word. Many people passed by her, but no one would stop. The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if
the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes.

Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone.

As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress.

It was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her.

Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different

As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare.

As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly.

She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form.

I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk. I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello".

The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi"; after a long stare, into my eyes.

I smiled and she shyly smiled back. We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty.

I asked the girl why she was so sad.

The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, Because, I'm different".

I immediately said, "That you are!"; and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know."

"Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent." She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really? "Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all people walking by."

She nodded her head yes, and smiled. With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am."

I'm your Guardian Angel," with a twinkle in her eye.

I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things.

She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself.

My job here is done".

I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?"

She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You're the only one that could see me," and then she was gone.

And with that, my life was changed dramatically.

So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.

The Pink Dress....

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:07:00 AM

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad Dressed in ...

First British Governor General
Warren Hastings

First British Governor General of Independent India
Lord Mountbatten

First Chief Justice of India
Hiralal J Kania

First Commander-in-Chief of Free India
General K M Cariappa

First Chief of Air Staff
Air Marshal Sir Thomos Elmhirst

First Indian Air Chief
Air Marshal S Mukherjee

First Chief of Army Staff
General M Rajendra Singh

First Chief of Naval Staff
Vice Admirial R D Katari

First Cosmonaut
Sqn Ldr Rakesh Sharma

First Field Marshal
SPFJ Manekshaw

First Governor-General of Indian Union
C Rajagopalachari

First Indian to get an Oscar
Bhanu Athaiya

First Indian to reach the South Pole
Col I K Bajaj

First Indian ICS Officer
Satyendra Nath Tagore

First Indian Man to swim across the English Channel
Mihir Sen

First Indian Woman to swim across the English Channel
Miss Arati Saha

First Magsaysay Award Winner
Acharya Vinod Bhave

First Nobel Prize Winner
Rabindra Nath Tagore

First President of the Indian National Congress
W C Benerjee

First Woman President of the Indian National Congress
Annie Besant

First Prime Minister of India
Jawaharlal Nehru

First Deputy Prime Minister of India
Vallabhbhai Patel

First Talkie Film
Alam Ara (1931)

First Woman Prime Minister
Indira Gandhi

First Woman Central Minister
Rajkumari Amrit Kaur

First Woman Chief Minister of a State
Mrs Sucheta Kripalani

First Woman Governor
Mrs Sarojini Naidu

First Woman Minister
Mrs Vijayalakshmi Pandit(U.P)

First Woman Speaker of a State Assembly
Mrs Shanno Devi

First Woman Airline Pilot
Durga Banerjee

First Woman to Win Asiad Gold
Kamlijit Sandhu

First Woman Judge of Supreme Court
Meera Sahib Fatima Beevi

First Woman IPS Officer
Kiran Bedi

First Woman to Win Miss Universe Tile
Ms Susmita Sen

First Woman to Win Noble Prize
Mother Teresa

First Woman to become Miss World
Reita Faria

Firsts in India...

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:04:00 AM

First British Governor General Warren Hastings First British Governor General of Independent India Lord Mountbatten First Chief Justice of I...

*Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)

Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
Office expenditure per month : 14,000
Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 (eg. 4 a visit frm kerala 2 Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily DA TA during parliament meets : 500
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times) (All over India)
Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips/yr (With wife or PA)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1,70,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MP per year : 32,00,000
TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000

For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : 8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 cores)

Politicians $alary

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:54:00 AM

*Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP) Monthly Salary : 12,000 Expense for Constituti...

If music be the food of love, play on.
- Shakespeare

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
- Rita Mae Brown

Never judge someone by who they are in love with; judge them by their friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at their pals.
- Cynthia Heimel

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
- Robert Browning

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.
- Albert Camus (1913-1960)

At the touch of Love every one becomes a poet.
- Plato

Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.
- Sean Connery

Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.
- Joyce Cary

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
- Jerome K. Jerome

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
- Oscar Wilde

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in love again.
- Judith Viorst

Thoughts on the Nature of Love

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:23:00 AM

If music be the food of love, play on. - Shakespeare One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. - Rita Mae Brown Never judge someone by w...

A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I was wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking , I saw you make my favorite cake for me
and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer,
and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes
and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that
I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say,
"Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."

When you thought....

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:19:00 AM

A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say. When you thought I was wasn't ...

I confess to you....

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:17:00 AM

To write a love letter....

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:14:00 AM

Wiring is used for .... ?

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:17:00 AM

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Bob".

"And what is your question, Bob?"

"I have 3 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?

Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is?
"Steve"

"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!

And fifth, where is "Bob"??!!!!*

Joke of the DAY!

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:14:00 AM

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George as...

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a
loud pounding on the door........

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the
morning." He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the morning and
it is pouring with rain outside!!

His wife said, "Don't you remember about three months ago
when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think
you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told (of course!), gets dressed and goes out
Into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you
still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!!", replies the drunk

Just a push

by Devesh Prabhu on 1:11:00 AM

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door........ The man gets up and goes to the door...

Childhood
Allah Rakha Rahman was born A.S.Dileep Kumar on the 6th of January in the year 1966, in Madras, to a musically affluent family. His father K.A.Sekhar was an arranger and conductor in Malayalam movies and had worked under the likes of Salil Chowdhary and Devarajan. Dileep started learning the piano at the tender age of four.

Background
At the age of 9, his father passed away following a mysterious illness with rumours abounding that he was the victim of black magic by his rivals. The pressure of supporting his family fell on Dileep. At the age of 11, he joined Illaiyaraja's troupe as a keyboard player. It was his mother Kareema Begum who encouraged him to follow in his father's footsteps. But all this had an adverse affect on his education. Infrequent attendance and an unaccommodative management forced him to shift schools from the prestigious Padma Seshadri Bal Bhavan to the Madras Christian College and finally he dropped out of school altogether.

Religion
In 1988, one of his sisters fell seriously ill and numerous attempts to cure her failed. Her condition progressively worsened. The family had given up all hope when they came in contact with a Muslim Pir - Sheik Abdul Qadir Jeelani or Pir Qadri as he was popularly known. With his prayers and blessings, Dileep's sister made a miraculous recovery. Rattled by the bad experience and influenced by the teachings of the Pir, the entire family converted to Islam. Thus A.S.Dileep Kumar became Allah Rakha Rahman.

Musical background
He also played on the orchestra of M.S.Vishwanathan and Ramesh Naidu and accompanied Zakir Hussain and Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan on world tours. All this experience enabled him to earn a scholarship to the famed Trinity College of Music at Oxford University from where he obtained a degree in Western Classical Music. After he returned he continued to be a part of various music troupes. He was also a part of local rock bands like Roots, Magic and Nemesis Avenue where he performed with his future colleagues like Ranjit Barot and Sivamani.

Career in Ads
Vizi Manuel, the lead keyboard player in Illaiyaraja's troupe, advised him to try other alternatives like advertising. Fortunately for Dileep he soon got his first break in advertising when he was asked to compose the jingle to promote Allwyn's new Trendy range of watches, in 1987. The ads were a success and Dileep's work in them was appreciated. Dileep moved full time into advertising as a few offers came his way. Thus began Dileep's 5-year saga in advertising where he went on to compose more than 300 jingles. Rahman did a lot of popular ads like those for Parry's, Leo Coffee, Boost featuring Sachin Tendulkar and Kapil Dev, Titan, Premier Pressure Cooker, Hero Puch and Asian Paints. The jingles that he composed for the Leo Coffee ad starring Aravind Swamy and the Asian Paints ad directed by Rajeev Menon also won him awards and recognition. He also won an award for composing the theme music of the Madras Telugu Academy's Spirit of Unity Concerts.

Studio
In 1989, he started a small studio of his own, called Panchathan Record Inn, attached to his house. This would later develop into one of India's most well equipped and advanced recording studios. In his established state of the art sound and recording studio he began experimenting in sound engineering, design and production. He also began a collection of sound samples, creating one of the most comprehensive sonic libraries in Asia. Earlier

Non-film work
During his stint in advertising, he released his first album, of Muslim devotional songs, titled `Deen Isai Malai'. This was followed by `Set Me Free', an album of English songs which was the launch album of singer Malgudi Subha, by Magnasound, where Dileep set the songs to tune. Both the albums went unnoticed in the market.

Films
At an advertising awards function he chanced upon a young man receiving the award for the best ad jingle which he had composed for the popular Leo Coffee ad. At the party that followed the awards presentation ceremony Maniratnam was introduced to the young composer by his cousin Sharada Trilok of Trish Productions for whose company the young man had worked. Mani requested for a sample of his wares. The composer readily complied and invited the director over to his studio where he played out a tune that he had been pushed into composing by his school friend G.Bharat alias Bala who had been greatly disturbed by the Cauvery river tensions. Mani was hooked instantly. He signed on the composer to score the music for his next film which was to be produced by the veteran Tamil director K.Balachander. That film was Roja. That tune would become the song "Tamizha Tamizha". Rahman became a household name in Tamil Nadu overnight and the score of `Roja' was the first step in changing the face of Indian film music. `Roja' won every conceivable award in music that year.

Rahman also got the Rajat Kamal for best music director at the National Film Awards , the first time ever by a debutante. He left ads and moved into film music full time. In the five years since Roja, he has created music for blockbuster Indian films including Roja, Pudhiya Mugam, Gentleman, Kizhaku Seemaiyilae, Duet, Kadalan, Bombay, May, Madham, Indian, Muthu kadhal Dasam, Love Birds and others. His 1995 soundtrack for Bombay crossed 5 million units and Rahman had arrived as the "King of Indian Pop" with sales of more than 40 million albums over a period of 3 years.

Playback singing
In the movie "Bombay" Rahman formally took to playback singing. Rahman had lent his voice to his compositions earlier too but they had been part of the chorus or bit pieces like `Marhaba' in `Urvashi' in `Kadhalan' or background pieces and interludes like `Yelelo' in `Chinna Chinna Aasai' in `Roja'. But `Hamma Hamma' in `Bombay' was Rahman's first complete song.

Vande Mataram
In 1996, when Rahman had gone to Bombay to attend the Screen Awards ceremony, he met his childhood friend G.Bharat. During this meeting both had discussed a proposal for an album to commemorate 50 years of Indian Independence in 1997. In 1997, the International music giant, Sony Music, whose portfolio included the likes of Michael Jackson, entered the Indian market in a big way.

They were looking to promote Indian artistes internationally. And the first person to be signed up by Sony Music from the Indian sub-continent was A.R.Rahman, on a 3-album contract. Rahman suggested the idea that he had discussed with Bharat to Sony Music India and was immediately accepted. Called `Vandemataram', it was a tribute to the motherland and featured songs to mark the 3 colours of the Indian Flag.

`Vandemataram' was released simultaneously in 28 countries across the world under the prestigious Columbia Label of Sony Music on August 15th 1997. Rahman himself performed live at Vijay Chowk in New Delhi on the eve of the Golden Jubilee of Indian Independence to a packed audience that comprised of the Prime Minister of India.
The album was a mega success and sold over 1.2 million copies in India and did reasonably well internationally too.

Artistes & inspirations
At the age of 32, Rahman has already worked with internationally reputed artistes like Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Apache Indian, Zakir Hussain, Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan, Dominic Miller, L.Shankar, Kadri Gopalnath, Vikku Vinayakram, Ustad Sultan Khan and Pandit Vishwa Mohan Bhatt among many others.

Rahman has in collaborations with artists such as L. Shankar, Zakir Hussain, David Byrne, Talvin Singh and Apache Indian - both recording and on tour. On a recent trip to India, David Byrne met Rahman and was so impressed that he went on to record some sessions with Rahman for a project he is currently completing (as yet unreleased).
Rahman lists among his favourites Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Carpenters, Carnatic, Rock and fusion. He credits all his inspiration and success to Allah.

A.R.RAHMAN`s Biography

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:58:00 AM

Childhood Allah Rakha Rahman was born A.S.Dileep Kumar on the 6th of January in the year 1966, in Madras, to a musically affluent family. Hi...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."

Young ventriloquist

by Devesh Prabhu on 12:52:00 AM

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he s...

Long ago, a mathematician used to cheat people. Once he borrowed Rs.4000/- from a rich man. After a few days, he borrowed Rs.2000/- from the same man.

Many days passed, the mathematician did not return the money to the rich man. The rich man went to the mathematician and asked to return the money.

But to his great surprise, the mathematician replied that there is no need to pay the debt.

"See here, friend" said the mathematician " the sum of 4000 and 2000 is equal to zero, so I do not have any balance to pay".

The rich man took the matter to the court. When the judge came to know this, he was astonished. He asked the mathematician to prove that sum of 4000 and 2000 is zero, and not 6000.

The Clever mathematician agreed. He said:
let a == 4000, b == 2000 and c == 6000
a + b == c

Multiply both sides by a + b
(a + b) (a + b ) == c (a + b)
a*a + ab + ba + b*b == ca + cb
a*a + ab - ca == cb - b*b - ba
a( a + b -c) == -b(b + a - c)
so a == - b
a + b == 0

Hence 4000 + 2000 = 0............

Clever Mathematician

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:32:00 AM

Long ago, a mathematician used to cheat people. Once he borrowed Rs.4000/- from a rich man. After a few days, he borrowed Rs.2000/- from the...

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove the 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday)?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So, how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! HR = HIGH RISK

HR = High Risk

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:24:00 AM

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that th...

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less

Hey You -- Donkey

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:19:00 AM

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Fina...

MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

The latest MATHS...

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:35:00 AM

MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = preg...

A WIFE is like a computer...
She will "ENTER" ur life
"SAVE" u in her heart
"FORMAT" ur brain
"EDIT" ur life
And then "DELETE" u from ur money!!
---------------

Red

Blue

Orange

Green

Yellow

White

Pink

All colours r dying 2 touch ur face. Wishing u HAPPY HOLI!
----------------

Love da 1 who cares 4 U,
care da 1 who shares with U,
share with 1 who knows U,
know da 1 who meets U,
meet da 1 who is made 4 U.
---------------

To hear what is unspoken,
To see what is unseen,
To feel without even touching,
is a miracle called "FRIEND"
-------------

The true measure of a man is how he treats some1 who can do him absolutely no gud.
--------------

Friends are like shoes,
some loose & some tight,
some fit & just right,
They help us 2 walk through life,
Thanks 4 being of my size!
----------------

Time might lead me nowhere & fate might break me in2 pieces, but I will always be THANKFUL that... Once in my life's journey u became my friend.
------------------

Remember 2 remember me,
forget 2 foget me,
Even if u remember 2 forget me,
I'll not forget 2 remember U!
-------------

#_# #
#'''# #

(o)(o)
(.__.)

(o)(_)
(.__.)

(_)(o)
(.__.)

(_)(_)
(.__.)

(o)(o)
(.__.)

Nothing...
Just a mischievous little HELLO!
Have a gr8 day...

<< SMS >>

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:12:00 AM

A WIFE is like a computer... She will "ENTER" ur life "SAVE" u in her heart "FORMAT" ur brain "EDIT"...

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, e! tc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, & in the back seat.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars! .

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably ! in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

******* Here it is *******

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.

The lady then sa! id that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Tips For Staying Safe

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:07:00 AM

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! 2. Learned this from a touris...

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman.

The downtown luxury apartment was in his name & he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out & then he would buy her another place.

The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things.

While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes & crates & suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come & collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, & feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each room & deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen & left.

The husband came back, with his new girl, & all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started, slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad.

They tried everything; cleaned, mopped, & aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in; the carpets were replaced, & on it went.

Finally, they could take it no more & decided to move. The Moving Company arrived & did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home...

...including the curtain rods.

Revenge is sweet

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:13:00 PM

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name & he wanted to rema...

Men always have better friends...They will stand by you, no matter what....!!!

Friends of Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment overnight. So, the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends & none of them confirm that she was with them.

Friends of Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So, he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So, the wife calls 10 of his best friends & 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night & another 5 are claiming that he is still with them.

Men always have better friends...

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:11:00 PM

Men always have better friends...They will stand by you, no matter what....!!! Friends of Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. S...

I know at times I have not been the best, & there were times that I have failed your tests.

There were days when you were oh-so alone, a couple of sad times with no-one's fault but my own.

I would give you anything I can, anything at all, i wish I could be there to catch every tear that might fall.

I wish that forever wasn't just a word you say.

I love you, baby, please don't go away.

I may not be your knight in shinning armor, as you see, but only for you I am being the best I can be.

I love you even more than you know, you never leave me, you're in my heart wherever I go.

Please kiss me and hold me so tight, encourage me that things will be all right,

That I am not wrong for loving a person like you, a person who makes all of my dreams come true.

A true person I am, as I always will be, I have been very stupid lately, please forgive me.

Give me one more chance, hell, maybe two, but whatever happens I don't ever want to lose you.

I don't ever want to lose you

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:38:00 AM

I know at times I have not been the best, & there were times that I have failed your tests. There were days when you were oh-so alone, a...

Confucius say...
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Confucius say
He who lives in glass house, dress in basement

Confucius say...
Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

Confucius say...
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Confucius say...
He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say...
Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.

Confucius say...
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.

Confucius say...
Couple on 7 day honeymoon make hole weak.

Confucius say...
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.

Confucius say...
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honorable discharge.

Confucius say....
Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.

Confucius say...
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

Confucius say...
He who run behind bus get exhausted.

Confucius say...
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Confucius say...
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Confucius say...
He who fishes in others' holes often catches crabs.

Deadly stuff...

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:35:00 AM

Confucius say... Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Confucius say He who lives in glass house, dress in basement Confucius say...

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But, the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So, to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger & went farther than ever.

The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh.
The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish & freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther & stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh & frozen & they did not like frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish & stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.

So, how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?

How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull, so we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake & moving? Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and taste better...

The more intelligent, persistent, & competent you are the more you enjoy a challenge.

"If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are Conqueror. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. "

Fresh Fish: Motivational Story....

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:32:00 AM

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But, the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So, to feed the Japanese popu...

More about Oxymorons:
An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Oxymoron is a Greek term derived from oxy ("sharp") and moros ("dull"). The most common form of oxymoron involves an adjective–noun combination. These are commonly used Oxymorons. We probably never realize that they fall within this category.

45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt head
26. Military intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Child Proof
21. Now then
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate

..And the number 1 oxymoron is

1. Microsoft Works

Oxymorons...

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:31:00 AM

More about Oxymorons: An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Oxymoron is a Greek term derived fro...

1. The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.

The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.

2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.

HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain

3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal

SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.

4. HE's not at his desk.
He must be at a meeting.

SHE's not at her desk.
She must be in the ladies' room.

5. HE's not in the office.
He's meeting with customers.

SHE's not in the office.
She must be out shopping.

6. HE's having lunch with the boss.
He's on his way up.

SHE's having lunch with the boss.
They must be having an affair.

7. The boss criticised HIM.
He'll improve his performance.

The boss criticized HER.
She'll be very upset.

8. HE got an unfair deal.
Did he get angry?

SHE got an unfair deal.
Did she cry?

9. HE's getting married.
He'll get more settled.

SHE's getting married.
She'll get pregnant and leave.

10. HE's having a baby.
He'll need a raise.

SHE's having a baby.
She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits.

11. HE's going on a business trip.
It's good for his career.

SHE's going on a business trip.
What does her husband say?

12. HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.

SHE's leaving for a better job.
Women are not dependable.

How the company views its employees. (HE Vs. SHE)

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:27:00 AM

1. The family picture is on HIS desk. Ah, a solid, responsible family man. The family picture is on HER desk. Umm, her family will come bef...

During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the Hindu people were humiliated & were treated like animals. Mughals treated the Hindu women as there own property & were forcing all Hindus to accept Islam & even used to kill the people if they were refusing to accept. That time, the ninth Guru, Sri Guru Teg Bahadarji came forward, in response to a request of some Kashmir Pandits to fight against all these cruel activities. Guruji told the Mughal emperor that if he could succeed in converting him to Islam, all the Hindus would accept the same.

But, if he failed, he should stop all those activities. The Mughal emperor happily agreed to that but even after lots of torture to Guruji & his fellow members he failed to convert him to Islam & Guruji along with his other four fellow members, were tortured & sacrificed their lives in Chandni Chowk. Since the Mughals were unable to convert them to Islam they were assassinated.

Thus Guruji sacrificed his life for the protection of Hindu religion. Can anybody lay down his life & that too for the protection of another religion? This is the reason he is still remembered as "Hind Ki Chaddar", shield of India. For the sake of whom he had sacrificed his life, none of the them came forward to lift his body, fearing that they would also be assassinated .

Seeing this incident the 10th Guruji, Sri Guru Gobind Singhji (Son of Guru Teg Bahadarji) founder of khalsa made a resolution that he would convert his followers to such human beings who would not be able to hide themselves & could be easily located in thousands.

At the start, the Sikhs were very few in numbers as they were fighting against the Mughal emperors. At that time, Nadir Shah raided Delhi in the year 1739 & looted Hindustan & was carrying lot of Hindustan treasures & nearly 2200 Hindu women along with him. The news spread like a fire & was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was the Commander of the Sikh army at that time. He decided to attack Nadir Shah's Kafila on the same midnight. He did so & rescued all the Hindu women & they were safely sent to their homes.

It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever any Abdaalis or Iranis had attacked & looted Hindustan and were trying to carry the treasures & Hindu women along with them for selling them in Abdal markets, the Sikh army although fewer in numbers but were brave hearted & attacked them at midnight, 12 O'clock & rescued women.

After that time when there occurred a similar incidence, people started to contact the Sikh army for their help and Sikhs used to attack the raider's at Midnight , 12 O'clock . Nowadays, these "smart people" & some Sikh enemies who are afraid of Sikhs, have spread these words that at 12 O'clock, the Sikhs go out of their senses.

12'O clock - The True Story

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:19:00 AM

During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the Hindu people were humiliated & were treated like animals. Mughals trea...

Jack & Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So, Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"

But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend & tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest & asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"

To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

Effective Communication (No Offence Intended)

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:11:00 AM

Jack & Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why...

A man and his son were walking in the forest. Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams, "Ahhhhh."

Surprised, he hears a voice coming from the mountain, "Ahhhhh."

Filled with curiosity, he screams, "Who are you?" but the only answer he receives is: "Who are you?"

This makes him angry, so he screams, "You are a coward!" and the voice answers, "You are a coward!"

He looks at his father asking, "Dad, what is going on?"

"Son," he replies, "pay attention!" Then he screams, "I admire you!"

The voice answers, "I admire you!"

The father shouts, "You are wonderful!" and the voice answers, "You are wonderful!"

The boy is surprised, but still can't understand what is going on.

Then the father explains, "People call this 'ECHO' but truly it is 'LIFE!' Life always gives you back what you give out! Life is a mirror of your actions. If you want more love, give more love!

If you want more kindness, give more kindness! If you want understanding and respect, give understanding and respect. If you want people to be patient and respectful to you, give patience and respect! This rule of nature applies to every aspect of our lives."

Life always gives you back what you give out. Your life is not a coincidence, but a mirror of your own doings.

The Echo Of Life

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:10:00 AM

A man and his son were walking in the forest. Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams, "Ahhhhh." Surprised, h...

With you, it's all about
voiceless communication-
always knowing exactly what to say,
but never actually having to say it.

When no one seems to be listening, you hear.
When I hurt but don't show it, you know.
When I turn away to hide my tears, you see.
When I feel like I can't get through to anyone, you understand.

You've restored my faith in people
and proved that there is a thing
called true friendship.

Only you

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:43:00 AM

With you, it's all about voiceless communication- always knowing exactly what to say, but never actually having to say it. When no one s...

There is a two-letter word that perhaps
has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It is easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP ,

for now my time is UP,

So, ........... it is Time to shut UP.....!

English Like it UP

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:34:00 AM

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It is easy to understa...

You must have heard a lot about "Rahu-Kaalam". I will give you a simple formula to remember when is the Raahu-kaalam.

Mother Saw Father Wearing The Turban on Sunday

Here
M = Monday = 7.30 to 9 am (one & a half hr)
S = Saturday = 9 to 10.30 am.
F = Friday = 10.30 to 1200 noon.
W = Wednesday = 12 to 1.30.
T = Thursday = 1.30 to 3 pm.
T = Tuesday = 3 to 4.30 pm.
S = Sunday = 4.30 to 6 pm.

RAHU- KAALAM

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:05:00 AM

You must have heard a lot about "Rahu-Kaalam". I will give you a simple formula to remember when is the Raahu-kaalam. Mother Saw F...

1. "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, & still likes you."

2. "Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; & two others at first speech are old friends."

3. "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."

4. "A new friendship is like an unripened fruit - it may become either an orange or a lemon"

5. "Friendship is always a sweet responsibilty, never an oppourtunity."

What is Friendship?

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:03:00 AM

1. "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, & still likes you." 2. "Two may talk together under the same roof for...

How can I be so stubborn
How could I be so blind
How could I be so selfish
To have said something so unkind

How could I believe their gossip
I know you better than that
But now I've said some hurtful things
That I don't know how to take back

We've shared too much laughter
and survived too many tears
to let some stupid careless words
End those friendship years

You've been there right beside me
When all else let me stand alone
You defended me even when I was wrong
In your heart I found a home

How could I be so thoughtless
As to think the things you said
In your hurt and in your anger
Was anything you truly meant

How could I have been so careless
As to reply with words of my own
Instead of caring for your pain?
My friend, I should have known.

Our friendship to me means more
Than I could ever show
I let opinions of thoughtless others
Interfere with what I know

I dearly miss your friendship
The heart ache just won't go
A part of me is missing
An empty aching hole

What I'm trying to tell you
In my usual awkward way
Is my dearest friend I'm sorry
More than words can say

Please forgive me.

My Friend, I'm Sorry

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:59:00 AM

How can I be so stubborn How could I be so blind How could I be so selfish To have said something so unkind How could I believe their gossip...

Note: Authensity Not KNOWN.

WELL DONE, BRITISH AIRWAYS!

This scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg, South Africa and London, England. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."

"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available." The hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the Economy Class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in the First Class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the Economy Class to sit in the First Class.

However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone sooooo disgusting." She turned to the black guy, & said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class." At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.

" Something Good "

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:47:00 AM

Note: Authensity Not KNOWN. WELL DONE, BRITISH AIRWAYS! This scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg, South Africa and London, ...

1 Cup, Good Thoughts
1 Cup, Consideration
2 Cups, Sacrifice
2 Cups, Faults
1 Cup, Kindness
3 Cups, Forgiveness

Mix well adding tears of joy, sympathy & sorrow for others. Flavor with gifts of love. Fold in prayer & faith. Pour all into daily life. Bake with human kindness. Serve daily with hugs & smiles.

Recipe For Daily Life

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:27:00 AM

1 Cup, Good Thoughts 1 Cup, Consideration 2 Cups, Sacrifice 2 Cups, Faults 1 Cup, Kindness 3 Cups, Forgiveness Mix well adding tears of joy,...

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number & was greeted with a child's whisper, "Hello, Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, & wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, is your mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,

"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy, Mommy, and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned & even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked,

"What is that noise?"

"A hello-copter" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copter."

Alarmed, concerned, & even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:

"ME..."

Why Parents have Grey Hair..?

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:02:00 AM

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee...

Nothing But You

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:56:00 AM

YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY...
You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period you're around.

YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS...
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS...
Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "Failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".

A LESSON IS REPEATED UNTIL LEARNED...
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END...
There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

"THERE" IS NO BETTER THAN "HERE"...
When your "There" has become a "Here", you will simply obtain another "There" that will, again, look better than "Here".

OTHERS ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU...
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU...
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

YOUR ANSWERS LIE INSIDE YOU...
The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS...
Unless you consistently stay focused on the goals you have set for yourself, everything you've just read won't mean a thing.

Rules for being human

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:55:00 AM

YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY... You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period you're around. YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS....

A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.

THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED.

IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD". WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

DEAR DAD,
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS.
I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.

I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.

BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT & BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY.

EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER AS SHE IS MUCH OLDER THAN I, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE WHOLE WINTER.

SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.

BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT.

IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!

DON'T WORRY DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.

YOUR SON,
JOHN

P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD THAT'S IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER. I LOVE YOU! CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.

There could be worse things in life:-

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:45:00 AM

A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP. THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOP...

Aagney - It is the lord of fire, & is positioned in the South-East direction.

Aap - Means water, which is one of the five elements that constituent our universe.

Aakash - Means Space, which is another element that constitutes our universe.

Aura - It is defined as a luminous radiation, a radiant light around a person's head or body. The different colours appearing in the aura have been studied by physics, & various tints of each colour suggest different characterstics.

Atman - The individual consciousness.

Brahma - The creator of the universe.

Istaka - The brick, as known in the Vedic times.

Jiva - The soul.

Kalpadruma - The wishing tree.

Purusha - The consciousness, the life source.

Parmataman - The universal consciousness.

Prana - The life.

Prakriti - The nature.

Samadhi (Sthiti) - To sit with folded legs on the ground in one posture for meditation.

Shankh - The counch, a sea shell through which the sound is produced & is mostly used in religious ceremonies.

Shrishti - Creation of the entire universe.

Sthapati - The architect, as known in the Vedic times.

Sutregrahi - The draughtsman, as known in the Vedic times.

Takshaka - The carpenter, as known in the Vedic times.

Vardhaki - The mason, as known in the Vedic times.

Dictionary of Vastu Shastra

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:17:00 AM

Aagney - It is the lord of fire, & is positioned in the South-East direction. Aap - Means water, which is one of the five elements that ...

Phrase your question in the form of an answer. So instead of typing, "What is the avg. rainfall in the Amazon basin?", you might get better results by typing "The average rainfall in the Amazon basin is."

This is an old one, but very important: Put quotes around phrases that must be searched together. If you put quotes around "electric curtains," Google won't waste your time finding one set of Web pages containing the word "electric" and another set containing the word "curtains."

Similarly, put a hyphen right before any word you want screened out. If you're looking up dolphins, for example, you'll have to wade through a million Miami Dolphins pages unless you search for "dolphins -Miami."

Google is a global White Pages and Yellow Pages. Search for "phonebook:home depot norwalk, ct," Google instantly produces the address and phone number of the Norwalk Home Depot. This works with names ("phonebook:robert jones las vegas, NV") as well as businesses.

Don't put any space after "phonebook." And in all of the following examples, don't type the quotes I'm showing you here.

Google is a package tracker. Type a FedEx or UPS package number (just the digits); when you click Search, Google offers a link to its tracking information.

Google is a calculator. Type in an equation ("32+2345*3-234=").

Google is a units-of-measurement converter. Type "teaspoons in a gallon," for example, or "centimeters in a foot."

Google is a stock ticker. Type in AAPL or MSFT, for example, to see a link to the current Apple or Microsoft stock price, graphs, financial news and so on.

Google is an atlas. Type in an area code, like 212, to see a Mapquest map of the area.

Google is Wal-Mart's computer. Type in a UPC bar code number, such as "036000250015," to see the description of the product you've just "scanned in." (Thanks to the Google Blog,
http://google.blogspace.com, for this tip and the next couple.)

Google is an aviation buff. Type in a flight number like "United 22" for a link to a map of that flight's progress in the air. Or type in the tail number you see on an airplane for the full registration form for that plane.

Google is the Department of Motor Vehicles. Type in a VIN (vehicle identification number, which is etched onto a plate, usually on the door frame, of every car), like "JH4NA1157MT001832," to find out the car's year, make and model.

For hours of rainy-day entertainment, visit http://labs.google.com. Here, you'll find links to new, half-finished Google experiments-like Google Voice, in which you call (650) 623-6706, speak the words you want to search for and then open your browser to view the results. Disclaimer: It wasn't working when I tried it. (Ditto a lot of these experiments.)

GOOGLE TIPS.... While Searching

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:45:00 AM

Phrase your question in the form of an answer. So instead of typing, "What is the avg. rainfall in the Amazon basin?", you might g...

Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill & it took him to his death bed. With death staring him in his face, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword & all his wealth were of no consequence. He now longed to reach home to see his mother's face & bid her his last adieu. But, he had to accept the fact that his sinking health would not permit Him to reach his distant homeland. So, the mighty conqueror lay prostrate & pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last. He called his generals & said, "I will depart from this world soon, I have three wishes, please carry them out without fail." With tears flowing down

Their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's last wishes.

"My first desire is that,” said Alexander, "My physicians alone must carry my coffin." After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, I desire that when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury." The king felt exhausted after saying this. He took a minute's rest and continued. "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin." The people who had gathered there wondered at the king's strange wishes. But no one dare bring the question to their lips. Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. "O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes?"

At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: "I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt. I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure any body. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So, let not people take life for granted.

The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell

People that not even a fraction of gold will come with me. I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.

And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world." With these words, the king closed his eyes. Soon he let death conquer him and breathed his last.

3 wishes of Alexander

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:52:00 PM

Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill & it took him to his death bed. With death starin...

Bholaji is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperatley throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"I finished the exam in half an hour". "But yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers."

Bholaji in exam...

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:41:00 PM

Bholaji is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, s...

Our Friend was chatting with a female - Online chat. Background both are s/w > engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's

Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back) I'll get some Coffee.

Hero: OK

Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs & stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM! & ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!

MNC's employees chat

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:30:00 PM

Our Friend was chatting with a female - Online chat. Background both are s/w > engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's...

*A* void negative sources, people, things, & habits.

*B* elieve in yourself.

*C* onsider things from every angle.

*D* on't give up and don't give in.

*E* njoy life today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.

*F* amily and Friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches.

*G* ive more than you planned to give.

*H* ang on to your dreams.

*I* gnore those who try to discourage you.

*J* ust do it!

*K* eep on trying, no matter how hard it seems.

*I *t will get better.

*L* ove yourself first and foremost.

*M* ake it happen.

*N* ever lie, cheat or steal. Always strike a fair deal.

*O* pen your eyes and see things as they really are.

*P* ractice makes perfect.

*Q* uitters never win and winners never quit.

*R* ead, study and learn about everything important in life.

*S* top Procrastination.

*T* ake control of your own destiny.

*U* nderstand yourself in order to understand others.

*V* isualize it.

*W* ant it more than anything.

*X* ccelerate your efforts.

*Y* ou are unique, nothing can replace you.

*Z* ero in on your target, and go for it!!

ABCD of ACHIEVEMENT...

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:14:00 AM

*A* void negative sources, people, things, & habits. *B* elieve in yourself. *C* onsider things from every angle. *D* on't give up a...

A winner says, "If it is to be, it is up to me."
A loser says, "I can't help it."

A winner translates dreams into reality.
A loser translates reality into dreams.

A winner empowers.
A loser controls.

A winner says, "Let's find out."
A loser says, "Nobody knows."

A winner is part of the solution.
A loser is part of the problem.

A winner is not afraid of losing.
A loser is afraid of winning.

A winner works harder than a loser.
A loser is always "too busy."

A winner says, "I was wrong."
A loser says, "It wasn't my fault."

A winner "wants to".
A loser "has to".

A winner makes time.
A loser wastes time.

A winner makes commitments.
A loser makes promises.

A winner says,"I'm good, but not as good as I can be."
A loser says."I'm not as bad as a lot of other people"

A winner listens.
A loser just waits until it's his/her turn to talk.

A winner catches people doing things right.
A loser catches people doing things wrong.

A winner learns from others.
A loser resents other.

A winner sees opportunities.
A loser sees problems.

A winner does it.
A loser talks about it.

A winner feels responsibility for more than his job.
A loser says, "I only work here."

A winner says, "There ought to be a better way."
A loser says, "That's the way it's always been done."

A winner celebrates others.
A loser complains about others.

A winner is willing to "pay the price."
A loser expects it on a "silver platter."

A winner expects success.
A loser expects failure.

Winners and Losers

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:12:00 AM

A winner says, "If it is to be, it is up to me." A loser says, "I can't help it." A winner translates dreams into ...

1. The mainframes hold approximately " 70 % " of the entire data stored in this planet
2. The latest ones can support over 25,000 users
3. They can support devices spread over 26 miles using fibre optics
4. The size of the "basic" OS is about 14 GB
5. This OS comes in about 57 magnetic tapes, But latest with 4 tapes
6. It takes ATLEAST a month to install & customize a basic mainframe OS configuration
7. It takes around 3 full days for a mainframe to get up and running
8. Basic configuration for development environment costs 8 crores (hardware + Software)
9. A full team of qualified system operators r always required to stand by to ensure successful operation
10. Earlier mainframes were provided with cooling pipes through which cold water was passed to cool the system - TCS have one in Chennai facility
11. Recent mainframes have variable speed fans in the cabinet to keep it cool
12. Have u ever heard of a mainframe system being hacked??? Mainframes are one of the most secure data installations ever
13. You cannot buy the mainframe OS, but u'll have to pay a license touse it.
The cost?? cool .....1.5 crores a year.
14. Finally, mainframes today r the most preferred data servers for even the most hi-fi of the organizations!
15. So, far no virus has been attaked Mainframes
16. Most of the people working on Mainframe had never seen the mainframe.

Facts abt Mainframe

by Devesh Prabhu on 6:05:00 AM

1. The mainframes hold approximately " 70 % " of the entire data stored in this planet 2. The latest ones can support over 25,000 ...

1. Your children know how to read HTML code but can't operate a vacuum cleaner.
2. Your children tell you that you said "yes" and you don't even remember the question.
3. You go to the grocery store and find yourself having a good time.
4. Your husband asks how your day went & you rate it on a scale of 1-10 repeats of "stop that!" or "no!"
5. You can't remember the last time you didn't have to share your drink.
6. You mistakenly tell the kids it's "sanity" time when you meant to say "bed" time.
7. The laundry seems to have taken on an evil nature & you begin to feel that it's out to get you.
8. You dread hearing the phone ring because it's a sure sign there's about to be trouble amongst the children.
9. It's finally your turn on the computer and "Touched by an Angel" is just coming on.
10. You go to sleep with "I'm bored" or "I'm hungry" still ringing in your ears.

Frustrated Mom

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:56:00 AM

1. Your children know how to read HTML code but can't operate a vacuum cleaner. 2. Your children tell you that you said "yes" ...

Dog Watch
Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"
Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

The Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead: "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

"Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ."

Time
SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, & each time I get a different answer."

The Burnt Ears
One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages. He said: "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear." The man asked "So, what happened to your other ear?" He said "That same stupid guy called again"

What part did you get?
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part & went home to tell his father. His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get? He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years. His father congratulated him. & then he said "That's good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role!"

Clever
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

Germs
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

Disney Password
My kids love going to the Web, & they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," & asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

Jokes...

by Devesh Prabhu on 5:21:00 AM

Dog Watch Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because yo...

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.

Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home

Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it)

Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff

Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story

Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you

Freind vs. best friend....

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:34:00 AM

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs. Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom. Friend: has never seen you cry Best friend: has alwa...

President Bush recently spent two days in India, prompting an estimated 100 million people to take to the streets to protest his policies. Many carried banners calling him the world's biggest terrorist & some really bad names in Hindi.

"Welcome to India, Mr. President," US ambassador David Mulford said, shaking Bush's hand in New Delhi. "You're going to like it here. Your approval rating is higher here than in America. Indians absolutely love you."

"They love me?" Bush asked. "But 100 million of them are rioting & calling me bad names. I'm afraid to see what they'd do if they hated me."

"Don't take it the wrong way," the ambassador said. "It's only 100 million Indians. The other 90 percent absolutely love you. They adore you. "

"So you think I'm safe here?" Bush asked, visibly relieved. "No one will shoot me?"

"Very safe here," the ambassador said. "As long as you didn't bring Mr. Cheney with you."

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said the reports of 100 million protestors were greatly exaggerated. "I'm not disagreeing that 100 million people were on the streets," he said, "but most of them were simply waiting for the bus. & what looked like a riot to foreign journalists was just our usual traffic."

Upendra Kumar, a Bangalore man who helped organize the protests, agreed with Singh's assessment, adding that the protests would have been more effective if all banners and signs had been spellchecked. Indeed, one protestor, shown on TV networks worldwide, carried a sign that said, "Go home, Amrican terrierist." Another displayed a banner that said, "George W. Bush: world's biggest tourist."

Despite the protests, Bush's visit was a resounding success. He and Singh reached an agreement to share nuclear technology & expertise. "I feel very confident about India having weapons of mass destruction," Bush said. "This is a peaceful country that loves all its neighbors."

To underscore the point, Bush visited a memorial to Mahatma Gandhi & praised the leader's philosophy of nonviolence. "He has had a great influence on me and the rest of America," Bush said. "It is because of him and his principles that we have chosen not to invade more countries.
We are keeping our nonviolence to a minimum. I mean, our violence. You know what I mean."

Singh took Bush on a four-hour trip to the southern city of Hyderabad. They stopped at a high-tech center after Bush expressed a strong desire to "visit all the American jobs."

Singh told Bush that most of the jobs at the center had been outsourced from America in the last five years. "You mean I created all these jobs," Bush said, beaming from ear to ear. "And to think the Democrats say I haven't done anything for the economy."

As he left India for Pakistan, Bush said he hoped to foster economic & political development that would make India's neighbor "a force for freedom and moderation in the Arab world." Bush later corrected himself, telling reporters that he meant to say "the Muslim world."

"I know that all Muslim countries are not Arabic," he said. "And I also know that all Arab countries are not Muslimic."

Meanwhile, White House press secretary Scott McClellan, hoping to prevent another round of protests in the Muslim world, refuted reports in various Arabic newspapers and TV networks that Bush had said, "I know many people who are putting their faith in Islam are bad."

"The president was misquoted," McClellan said. "What he said was, 'My delegation is excited about President Musharraf's desire to bring about positive change. I know many people who are putting their faith in Islamabad.'"

He added that the president had held important discussions with Pakistani officials and had left the country with a much better understanding of how to pronounce 'Islamabad.'

Humor by Melvin Barnes

The Bush Wave...

by Devesh Prabhu on 4:21:00 AM

President Bush recently spent two days in India, prompting an estimated 100 million people to take to the streets to protest his policies. M...

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