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Doomed From The Start?

Save yourself a heart break by reading the warning signs from the beginning of your relationship.

When you first start dating a man or woman who you have been attracted to, you might be all starry-eyed and dreamy. But, a few years later, you probably end up asking yourself what was I thinking, or worst case scenario — you spare yourself a few years of wondering and end the relationship. It isn’t uncommon for couples to start dating, and in the beginning really get along. But as time goes by you realise the relationship was a mistake and then wish you had seen the problems right from the start. While there is no way of knowing in an instant, it is possible to gauge whether a relationship is over even before it has begun, if only you look for the signs. What are those signs? Read on to find out.

Oh! My problems
When you first start dating, there are several things that you can talk about; what the person does, their likes and dislikes etc. However, if your date can only talk about their unending problems and how hopeless a place the world is, please read the signs and back off. If all your man or woman can do is whine about their problems instead of trying to know you better, you are probably heading for a relationship that will end up being bitter. Yes, if they are truly suffering because they have experienced something tragic — fair enough. But, if they are just the complaining sort, you’d much rather be with someone a little more positive and with a brighter perspective on life.

Stood you up
If there is a genuine reason, he or she deserves a second chance. But if it is a silly reason and they did not even bother to inform you, walk away now. Don’t wait for a few more stand-ups before realising this person is only full of excuses and can’t respect someone enough to at least inform them that he or she won’t show up. You need to assert yourself from the beginning and if they can’t treat you decently enough to make plans and then, at least, show up, they’re probably not worth keeping anyway.

Secrets
When two people get together and the relationship is new, there is no reason that one would want to keep it a secret, unless they are unsure about it. This is a sign that your man or woman is not sure about you and wants to buy time before making the relationship ‘official.’ If the person you have recently started dating wants to keep your relationship a secret, confront them and ask why. If the reason is valid, it’s up to you whether or not you want to stay with them. But, if they are being evasive, watch out, maybe there is a third party involved.

Your friends don’t approve
Your friends probably know you better than anyone else. If they are apprehensive about the new man or woman in your life, listen to them. Hopefully your friends are the kind of people who look out for you. Not the type that get malicious and poison your mind because they are jealous. If your closest friend, who you trust and will only have your best interests at heart warns you — don’t be blinded by love; listen to them. The fact that your friends see something wrong, is a sign that maybe you’re ill-suited with this particular man or woman.

Lying
A sure sign that your relationship isn’t going to get very far is when there are lies being said right from the beginning. If you find out that your new partner has lied to you about something, remember that he or she probably has the capacity to tell bigger lies later on as well. A relationship cannot survive without trust, and only a fool would trust a liar. So be aware of how much your partner is willing to bend the truth.

When a relationship goes wrong it can cause a lot of hurt and anger. Of course, it is hard to be guarded when you’re in love heart break, but you can at least try to avoid heart break by reading the signs.

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