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• One thing a man learns from an argument with a woman is how to be a good loser.

• Never trust a girl who says she loves you more than anyone else in the world; it shows she has been experimenting.

• Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

• The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.

• I never turn my back on my friends, I don't trust them that much

• On the internet nothing is illegal, its all e-legal...

• It is a medically proven fact that people with the most birthdays live the longest!

• I'm so old that, when I was in school, history was called current affairs.

• Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.

• I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.

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