1) Zubaan Hi Sirf Ek Zariya Nahin
Jo Aap Shabdon Ko Samajh Paayein Gain
Kabhi Aankhon Main Jhaank Kar Dekhiey
Hazaroon Alfaaz Khud Ba Khud Bekhar Jayein Gain
2) Dil Ko Addat Si Ho Gai Hai Choot Kahanay Ki
Bheegi Palkoon K Sang Muskuranay Ki
Kaash Anjaam Hum Pehlay Say Jaan Jaatay
Tu Koshish Bhi Nahin Kartay Dil Laganay Ki
3) Khamoosh Raat K Pehloo Main Sitaray Nahin Hotay
In Rukhi Aankhon Main Rangeen Nazaray Nahin Hotay
Hum Bhi Na Kartay Parwah
Agar Aap Itnay Pyaaray Na Hotay
4) Khud Ko Khud Ki Khabar Na Lagay
Koi Achha Bhi Is Qadar Na Lagay
Aap Ko Dekha Hai Bas Us Nazar Say
Jis Nazar Say Aap Ko Nazar Na Lagay
5) Khubsurat Hai Zindagi Khuwab Ki Tarhan
Janay Kab Toot Jaye Yeh Kaanch Ki Tarhan
Kisi Moor Pay Mulaqaat Ho Gai Humari
Tu Aankhain Mat Moorna Anjaanaon Ki Tarhan
6) Chand Lamhon Ki Zindgani Hai
Nafraatoon Say Jeeya Nahin Kartay
Lagta Hai Ab Dushmanon Say Ghuzarish Karni Paray Gi
Kion K Dost Tu Yaad Kia Nahin Kartay
7) Jab Khamoosh Aankhon Say Baat Hoti Hai
Aisey Hi Mohabbat Ki Shorowat Hoti Hai
Tumharay Hi Khayalon Main Khoye Rehtay Hain
Pata Nahin Kab Din Aur Kab Raat Hoti Hai
8) Hum Nay Aap Ko Apni Aankhon Main Basaya Hai
Dil Ka Kamra Aap Hi K Liey Sajaya Hai
Aap Humain Msgs Tu Kartay Hi Nahin
Hum Nay Tu Msgs Pack Aap K Liey Hi Activate Karwaya Hai
9) Waqt Ki Aandhi Main Toofan Badal Jatay Hain
Zindagi Ki Rahoon Main Insaan Badal Jatay Hain
Badaltay Nahin Pyaar Kabhi
Pyaar Karnay Walay Insaan Badal Jatay Hain
10) Har desh ki ek sarhadd hoti hai
bache ki bhi ek zidd hote hai
aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai
11) Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai ghamo ki gehrai mein,
hume mat dhoondna duniya ki bhid mein,
hum millenge tumhe tumhari parchaai mein.....
13) Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye woh fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu woh River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...
14) Phool khilte rahein zindgi ki raah mein
hassi chamakti rahe aapki nigaah mein
kadam kadam par mile khushi ki bhaar aapko
dil deta hai yehi dua baar-baar aapko
15) L O V E
L = Lake of Sorrow
O = Ocean of Tears
V = Valley of Death
E = End of life....
16) Badi asaani se dil lgaaye jaate hain
par badi mushkil se waade nibhaye jaate hain
le jaati hai mohabbat un raaho par
jaha diye nahi dil jlaaye jaate hain.....
17) Door rehkar bhi yaad karenge
yeh mat sochna ki bhool jayenge tumey,
agar dost bankar raas na aaye
to ajnabi ban kar yaad aayenge tumey
18) jawaab teri shayari ka....
denge hum shayari mein....
naam tera likh baithe hain....
apne dil ki diary mein....
30 June 2006
Killer Asteroid Headed Towards Earth
Starry-eyed humans, brace yourself and fasten your seatbelts. The planet Earth is about to cross paths with a massive asteroid on July 3.
The asteroid, named 2004XP14, measuring a half-mile in diameter, more or less, is hurtling through the darkness of space toward our planet. Even though the chances of it hitting Earth are nil, by cosmic standards, the asteroid will pass alarmingly close to our beloved blue orb next week. At its closest approach to Earth, the asteroid will brush past at almost the same distance of the moon from our planet.
Too small to be considered as planets, asteroids are said to be metallic and rocky objects that revolve around the sun. Sometimes called minor planets, they come in various sizes, from the mammoth Ceres, measuring about 1,000 kilometers in diameter, to the tiniest, pebble-sized fragments. Sixteen of these asteroids are known to have a diameter of 240 kilometers or more and they are scattered inside the Earth's orbit and beyond Saturn's. The majority of asteroids are herded within the main belt between Mars and Jupiter. Some of these have become wayward and unfortunately cross Earth's path. Millions of years ago, the Earth had been hit several times by some of the space rocks. One notable planetary scar, the well-preserved Barringer meteor crater is located in Winslow, Arizona.
HERE
The asteroid, named 2004XP14, measuring a half-mile in diameter, more or less, is hurtling through the darkness of space toward our planet. Even though the chances of it hitting Earth are nil, by cosmic standards, the asteroid will pass alarmingly close to our beloved blue orb next week. At its closest approach to Earth, the asteroid will brush past at almost the same distance of the moon from our planet.
Too small to be considered as planets, asteroids are said to be metallic and rocky objects that revolve around the sun. Sometimes called minor planets, they come in various sizes, from the mammoth Ceres, measuring about 1,000 kilometers in diameter, to the tiniest, pebble-sized fragments. Sixteen of these asteroids are known to have a diameter of 240 kilometers or more and they are scattered inside the Earth's orbit and beyond Saturn's. The majority of asteroids are herded within the main belt between Mars and Jupiter. Some of these have become wayward and unfortunately cross Earth's path. Millions of years ago, the Earth had been hit several times by some of the space rocks. One notable planetary scar, the well-preserved Barringer meteor crater is located in Winslow, Arizona.
HERE
Adobe Flash Player 9
Adobe Systems Incorporated (Nasdaq:ADBE) today announced the availability of Adobe(R) Flash(R) Player 9 (formerly Flash Player 8.5), the next-generation Flash Player client runtime. Flash Player provides a more secure, lightweight, robust runtime environment for rich media and enterprise-ready rich Internet applications. Flash Player 9 achieves up to 10 times faster performance through ActionScript 3.0 and a new ActionScript Virtual Machine (AVM), which features a Just In Time (JIT) compiler that translates ActionScript bytecode to native machine code for maximum execution speed.
New iPod Nanos Will Be Delayed
Apple's stock price fell yesterday after a Wall Street analyst warned that the company would be late in shipping its new iPod Nano. The stock dropped to an eight-month low following the report from American Technology Research analyst Shaw Wu.
While Wu reduced his target for Apple's stock price from $101 to $75, he actually recommended that investors buy Apple shares. He said in the report that he believes Apple is "well-positioned with arguably the industry's most powerful & integrated stack of hardware, software, and service."
Wu did warn, however, that the upgraded versions of the iPod Nano would ship in the final quarter of this year -- instead of the third quarter -- as a result of Apple's change of manufacturer. He also indicated that Apple is unlikely to increase its prices for iPod Nanos, although storage capacity will double to 4 GB and 8 GB, up from 2 GB & 4 GB.
Change of Supplier
The American Technology Research analyst also warned that the launch of a widescreen video iPod, which had been expected to debut in the fourth quarter of 2006, likely will be delayed until the first six months of 2007.
Wu cited battery life as the likely reason for the delay. "[Apple] is aiming to increase both the screen size and improve the battery life -- two conflicting attributes that are difficult to improve simultaneously and require significant engineering," Wu wrote.
Nitin Gupta, a Yankee Group analyst, said he was not overly concerned that Apple would lose market share as a result of any delays.
"I don't see millions of people rushing out and buying players with bigger storage capacity from Apple's rivals, just because the new iPod Nanos are late," Gupta said. "Apple is still the largest player in the music player market, and its closest competitors are nowhere near it in terms of market share."
Information Source
Gupta conceded that, due to the long time since the last iPod Nano was released in October 2005, Apple's rivals have been able to come out with products with more storage capacity than the iPod Nano.
"For example, SansDisk's Sansa music players offer more capacity than the iPod Nano," he said. "So Apple could lose some market share to firms such as SansDisk or Archos if it is late, but it won't be a big drop in market share."
Gupta stressed that he was neither confirming nor denying the report from Wu. "Market research firms such as Yankee Group will never comment on whether they believe a Wall Street analyst's report is correct," Gupta said. "All we will do is to speculate on the likely consequences of such a report being accurate."
A Gartner Group analyst, who declined to be identified by name, questioned where Wu had obtained his information about Apple. "Did he speak to Apple or to its supplier?" he asked. "I would not give too much credence to any rumors emanating from the channel."
While Wu reduced his target for Apple's stock price from $101 to $75, he actually recommended that investors buy Apple shares. He said in the report that he believes Apple is "well-positioned with arguably the industry's most powerful & integrated stack of hardware, software, and service."
Wu did warn, however, that the upgraded versions of the iPod Nano would ship in the final quarter of this year -- instead of the third quarter -- as a result of Apple's change of manufacturer. He also indicated that Apple is unlikely to increase its prices for iPod Nanos, although storage capacity will double to 4 GB and 8 GB, up from 2 GB & 4 GB.
Change of Supplier
The American Technology Research analyst also warned that the launch of a widescreen video iPod, which had been expected to debut in the fourth quarter of 2006, likely will be delayed until the first six months of 2007.
Wu cited battery life as the likely reason for the delay. "[Apple] is aiming to increase both the screen size and improve the battery life -- two conflicting attributes that are difficult to improve simultaneously and require significant engineering," Wu wrote.
Nitin Gupta, a Yankee Group analyst, said he was not overly concerned that Apple would lose market share as a result of any delays.
"I don't see millions of people rushing out and buying players with bigger storage capacity from Apple's rivals, just because the new iPod Nanos are late," Gupta said. "Apple is still the largest player in the music player market, and its closest competitors are nowhere near it in terms of market share."
Information Source
Gupta conceded that, due to the long time since the last iPod Nano was released in October 2005, Apple's rivals have been able to come out with products with more storage capacity than the iPod Nano.
"For example, SansDisk's Sansa music players offer more capacity than the iPod Nano," he said. "So Apple could lose some market share to firms such as SansDisk or Archos if it is late, but it won't be a big drop in market share."
Gupta stressed that he was neither confirming nor denying the report from Wu. "Market research firms such as Yankee Group will never comment on whether they believe a Wall Street analyst's report is correct," Gupta said. "All we will do is to speculate on the likely consequences of such a report being accurate."
A Gartner Group analyst, who declined to be identified by name, questioned where Wu had obtained his information about Apple. "Did he speak to Apple or to its supplier?" he asked. "I would not give too much credence to any rumors emanating from the channel."
28 June 2006
Woodcrest launches Intel
Santa Clara (CA) - Intel today introduced the first processor based on its "Core" architecture: The Xeon 5100 rings in the beginning of the end of the Netburst architecture - a power hungry technology that was introduced more than five years ago and brought the company down to its knees. Core's mission is to restore Intel's competitiveness and lay the foundation for the firm's future.
MORE HERE
MORE HERE
I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs?
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.
Cna yuo raed tihs?
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.
23 June 2006
It's a Girl's World
If he is late for class,he's told, "Time and Tide wait for none".
If she is late,then the bus was late.
If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern,says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, "Has he escaped from the Zoo?"
If a boy talks with a girl, "I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.
When a girl cries,the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, "Come on man : Don't be a girl".
If a girl meets with an accident, then it's the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, "I think you should learn to drive".
If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, "Try to respect ladies, man!".
If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, "You've to work hard".
But if a girl gets a big rank, still got 33! Reservation.
If there are girls in a class, the professor gives an interesting lecture,
And if there are no girls, he says, there is no class today.
If a girl does not answer,during a viva, then atleast 'smile' says the examiner.
But when a boy does not answer, "better luck next time".
If she is late,then the bus was late.
If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern,says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, "Has he escaped from the Zoo?"
If a boy talks with a girl, "I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.
When a girl cries,the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, "Come on man : Don't be a girl".
If a girl meets with an accident, then it's the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, "I think you should learn to drive".
If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, "Try to respect ladies, man!".
If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, "You've to work hard".
But if a girl gets a big rank, still got 33! Reservation.
If there are girls in a class, the professor gives an interesting lecture,
And if there are no girls, he says, there is no class today.
If a girl does not answer,during a viva, then atleast 'smile' says the examiner.
But when a boy does not answer, "better luck next time".
Ghana 2 - 1 USA
Ghana clinched a place in the last 16 of the World Cup against Brazil by ending the hopes of the United States with victory in Nuremberg.
Haminu Dramani gave Ghana, who lost their group opener to Italy, the lead after he robbed Claudio Reyna but Clint Dempsey's first-time shot made it 1-1.
Stephen Appiah restored Ghana's lead from a controversial penalty - awarded against USA defender Oguchi Onyewu.
Brian McBride sent a diving header against the post for the USA.
Referee Markus Merk stamped his early mark on the game, booking Eddie Lewis and Michael Essien inside the first six minutes.
With plenty at stake both sides were prepared for a physical battle and Lewis needed treatment for an eyebrow cut, which was caused by John Mensah's stray elbow.
FULL STORY HERE : BBC
Haminu Dramani gave Ghana, who lost their group opener to Italy, the lead after he robbed Claudio Reyna but Clint Dempsey's first-time shot made it 1-1.
Stephen Appiah restored Ghana's lead from a controversial penalty - awarded against USA defender Oguchi Onyewu.
Brian McBride sent a diving header against the post for the USA.
Referee Markus Merk stamped his early mark on the game, booking Eddie Lewis and Michael Essien inside the first six minutes.
With plenty at stake both sides were prepared for a physical battle and Lewis needed treatment for an eyebrow cut, which was caused by John Mensah's stray elbow.
FULL STORY HERE : BBC
Patient Ronaldo happy with form
Ronaldo revealed that patience was the key after his double led to a 4-1 win over Japan and set up a second-round tie against Ghana on Tuesday.
He was criticised after Brazil's first two games before he joined Gerd Muller as the highest scorer in World Cup history on Thursday with a tally of 14.
He said: "I'm happy I've made such a significant improvement, physically and technically, during the competition.
"Patience is the key word. I managed to stay calm and patient."
The 29-year-old got off the mark on the stroke of half-time with a header to cancel out Keiji Tamada's earlier effort for Japan.
And Ronaldo's second strike, which saw him curl the ball past Yoshikatsu Kawaguchi in the Japanese goalmouth, was even more impressive.
Despite the Real Madrid player's timely return to form, national coach Carlos Alberto Parreira said he was still some way off his best form.
"Ronaldo is not in the best possible physical shape but step by step and little by little he is getting there," said Parreira.
"I'm sure he will be better as each game goes."
Parreira, who had looked glum-faced before Ronaldo's first goal, paid tribute to his players saying they were "deserving winners" after having "about 25 shots blocked".
SOURCE: BBC NEWS
He was criticised after Brazil's first two games before he joined Gerd Muller as the highest scorer in World Cup history on Thursday with a tally of 14.
He said: "I'm happy I've made such a significant improvement, physically and technically, during the competition.
"Patience is the key word. I managed to stay calm and patient."
The 29-year-old got off the mark on the stroke of half-time with a header to cancel out Keiji Tamada's earlier effort for Japan.
And Ronaldo's second strike, which saw him curl the ball past Yoshikatsu Kawaguchi in the Japanese goalmouth, was even more impressive.
Despite the Real Madrid player's timely return to form, national coach Carlos Alberto Parreira said he was still some way off his best form.
"Ronaldo is not in the best possible physical shape but step by step and little by little he is getting there," said Parreira.
"I'm sure he will be better as each game goes."
Parreira, who had looked glum-faced before Ronaldo's first goal, paid tribute to his players saying they were "deserving winners" after having "about 25 shots blocked".
SOURCE: BBC NEWS
Newz Flow
Upmove May Continue
The market crossed the psychological 10000 level in yesterday's trades and is likely to take further lead as buying interest continues in large-caps and several other sectoral counters. A strong overnight US markets and around 1-2% gains in the Asian indices in current trades may augur well for the markets. Among the key local indices, the Nifty could test higher levels around 3107 and 3035 and has supports at 2837 and 2805. The Sensex has a likely support at 9920 and may face resistance at 10186.
Strong earnings reports from FedEx and Morgan Stanley helped the US indices post significant gains for the second consecutive session on Wednesday. While the Dow Jones scaled above the 11000 levels to close at 11079, up 105 points, the Nasdaq ended 34 points higher at 2141.
Indian floats, too, were upbeat on strong domestic and US markets. Barring Dr Reddy's other Indian ADRs ended at higher levels. Tata Motors led the upmove and surged 5.32% while Satyam, HDFC Bank, MTNL, VSNL, Infosys and Rediff gained over 2-4% each.
Global crude oil prices edged above $70 a barrel, with the Nymex light crude oil for July series rising by 99 cents at $70.33 per barrel. In the commodity space, the Comex gold for August delivery flared up $10.50 to settle at $591 a troy ounce.
Stocks To Watch
Ranbaxy is on the verge of picking up a 10% stake in Zenotech Laboratories for about Rs20 crore.
Elder Pharmaceuticals is looking to set up a marketing subsidiary in the Italian generics market.
L&T is planning to set up a full-fledged life cycle support unit that will service, repair and maintain arms and ammunition for the defence forces, including guns, tanks, radars, aircrafts, and rocket launchers.
The market crossed the psychological 10000 level in yesterday's trades and is likely to take further lead as buying interest continues in large-caps and several other sectoral counters. A strong overnight US markets and around 1-2% gains in the Asian indices in current trades may augur well for the markets. Among the key local indices, the Nifty could test higher levels around 3107 and 3035 and has supports at 2837 and 2805. The Sensex has a likely support at 9920 and may face resistance at 10186.
Strong earnings reports from FedEx and Morgan Stanley helped the US indices post significant gains for the second consecutive session on Wednesday. While the Dow Jones scaled above the 11000 levels to close at 11079, up 105 points, the Nasdaq ended 34 points higher at 2141.
Indian floats, too, were upbeat on strong domestic and US markets. Barring Dr Reddy's other Indian ADRs ended at higher levels. Tata Motors led the upmove and surged 5.32% while Satyam, HDFC Bank, MTNL, VSNL, Infosys and Rediff gained over 2-4% each.
Global crude oil prices edged above $70 a barrel, with the Nymex light crude oil for July series rising by 99 cents at $70.33 per barrel. In the commodity space, the Comex gold for August delivery flared up $10.50 to settle at $591 a troy ounce.
Stocks To Watch
Ranbaxy is on the verge of picking up a 10% stake in Zenotech Laboratories for about Rs20 crore.
Elder Pharmaceuticals is looking to set up a marketing subsidiary in the Italian generics market.
L&T is planning to set up a full-fledged life cycle support unit that will service, repair and maintain arms and ammunition for the defence forces, including guns, tanks, radars, aircrafts, and rocket launchers.
What Did I Do Wrong?
What Did I Do Wrong?
What Did I Do Wrong
We Were So Close Together
Now So Far Apart
What Happened In Between
I Can Only Feel In My Heart
I Wish You Were Here
To Talk With Me Today
But I Can't Give A Call
My Mind Won't Obey
Things Seemed To Be So Perfect
Now They Seem So Wrong
I Don't Feel As Though I Know You
Where Has Our Love Gone
You Used To Be Able To Talk With Me
About Everything You Felt
Now I Feel I'm A Stranger
My Heart Is Starting To Melt
We Always Used To Talk
Until The Middle Of The Night
I Don't Know What We Talked About
But Never Once In A Fight
I Need You In My Life
I Need You As A Friend
I Need To Laugh And Cry With You
Forever Till The End
I Still Don't Know What Has Happened
Our Friendship Has Lasted So Long
But I Can't Help From Wondering
What Did I Do Wrong?
What Did I Do Wrong
We Were So Close Together
Now So Far Apart
What Happened In Between
I Can Only Feel In My Heart
I Wish You Were Here
To Talk With Me Today
But I Can't Give A Call
My Mind Won't Obey
Things Seemed To Be So Perfect
Now They Seem So Wrong
I Don't Feel As Though I Know You
Where Has Our Love Gone
You Used To Be Able To Talk With Me
About Everything You Felt
Now I Feel I'm A Stranger
My Heart Is Starting To Melt
We Always Used To Talk
Until The Middle Of The Night
I Don't Know What We Talked About
But Never Once In A Fight
I Need You In My Life
I Need You As A Friend
I Need To Laugh And Cry With You
Forever Till The End
I Still Don't Know What Has Happened
Our Friendship Has Lasted So Long
But I Can't Help From Wondering
What Did I Do Wrong?
JUST FOR YOU
A vision of hope for my love
A set of feelings sent from God Above
A wish to be together, a dream to come true
A heart so full of love yet left unknown by you
Million of questions on my mind
And answers are still left to find
Thoughts about what our future may hold
After telling you everything that you should be told
A love so strong not even distance can break
Love so real it can't even be faked
Proving that my love is meant to be
Which I know everyone around us could also see
Holding on to what I think is right
Thinking that I found you - this makes my life bright
Feeling so lonely when we are apart
We are meant to be together and I am sure you can feel it in your heart
Yet I am fighting so hard for what I seek
But I do not know if you are listening to what my heart speaks
Doing my best to pass this message onto you
Because in this life we've been blessed 2 b together by Lord (this I think is true)
Blessed with love and care
I know what we can have is very rare
Some search their whole life for love like this
Just wanted you to know that you have got this
Me and You can come true
If you want it to.
You are the sweetest thing that exists
Let us unite and be a family if you believe in what this poem lists.
A set of feelings sent from God Above
A wish to be together, a dream to come true
A heart so full of love yet left unknown by you
Million of questions on my mind
And answers are still left to find
Thoughts about what our future may hold
After telling you everything that you should be told
A love so strong not even distance can break
Love so real it can't even be faked
Proving that my love is meant to be
Which I know everyone around us could also see
Holding on to what I think is right
Thinking that I found you - this makes my life bright
Feeling so lonely when we are apart
We are meant to be together and I am sure you can feel it in your heart
Yet I am fighting so hard for what I seek
But I do not know if you are listening to what my heart speaks
Doing my best to pass this message onto you
Because in this life we've been blessed 2 b together by Lord (this I think is true)
Blessed with love and care
I know what we can have is very rare
Some search their whole life for love like this
Just wanted you to know that you have got this
Me and You can come true
If you want it to.
You are the sweetest thing that exists
Let us unite and be a family if you believe in what this poem lists.
20 June 2006
Management Decision Final Decision...
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K. Advani & Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an Auto Rickshaw. They met with an accident & all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR & Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decisionis made; & should not be just based on opinion or preconceived notions. Yama agrees to this & asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
1. PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" & he does it correctly.
2. Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND" & he too passes.
3. It is Laloo's turn & he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair & that he was given a tough question & thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
1. PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily & passes.
2. Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
3. Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GRRRRRR....." Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history Yama says OK but this would be the last chance & that he would not take any more tests.
1. PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?". He replied "1947" & passed.
2. Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?"
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it & says 200,000 & passes.
3. It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name & Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the independence struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat & agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
He asks PVNR & Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decisionis made; & should not be just based on opinion or preconceived notions. Yama agrees to this & asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
1. PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" & he does it correctly.
2. Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND" & he too passes.
3. It is Laloo's turn & he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair & that he was given a tough question & thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
1. PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily & passes.
2. Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
3. Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GRRRRRR....." Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history Yama says OK but this would be the last chance & that he would not take any more tests.
1. PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?". He replied "1947" & passed.
2. Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?"
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it & says 200,000 & passes.
3. It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name & Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the independence struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat & agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
19 June 2006
An Engineer in Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer?
That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer?
That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
17 June 2006
Diary of MBA
Dear Diary,
I can't hold myself down. My FIRST day on the job!! And I like it already.
"Assistant Junior Deputy to the Vice Chairman - Manufacturing". My dad was thrilled when he heard my designation.
"What the f!@#!!!" were his exact words. Oh I love it when my parents are happy...
Need to meet HR in half an hour. I can't wait to get my first Employee ID Card and cubicle. I hope Parthasarathy Whatayblouse Crappers (PWC) is the beginning of great things.
P.S. I have brought my favorite textbooks back from the institute OD, OM and HR should help me grow rapidly in the organization. And I WILL handle soft issues before facing hard issues here at PWC.
July 28th
Dear Diary,
Had a lot of fun with HR yesterday. The guy who had recruited me had left a month ago. So they didn't know I was joining. We had a hearty laugh over that one.
I'll get my cubicle in a few days time. For the time being I am sharing a nice one with Claire. She's with Corporate Communication.
The phone doesn't work though...
August 02nd
Dear Diary,
Met my boss today. He spent a lot of time with my CV and then asked me how I managed to get a job with them. (Even he knows how lucky they are to get me..) He told me to review our material ordering system in the err... umm... the... the "big yellow and blue noisy machine section" of the plant.
Claire is working on an "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The office boy had just resigned. So, she got me to pose with an apron and a tray of cookies for a photo. They are going to call me Ramon and use it for ads. I am going to be famous.
August 07th
Dear Diary,
My first breakthrough. I have decided to order nickel ball bearings using the EQO.. QEO... whatever formula. It takes into account item cost, holding cost and weight of ball bearing I think. The purchase guy gave me a funny look when he saw my annual requisition contract form. He is obviously not an MBA...
Claire resigned today. She told me carry on with the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign.
P.S. Lesson for the week. You cannot order 0.7564 of a ball bearing. It has to be in whole numbers.
August 11th
Dear Diary,
I just got a shipment of 4384 ball bearings. I checked up with Engineering.
They said that should be enough for around 14 years of requirement. I gave them 3 and stashed away the rest in a cupboard in my room. If prices of ball bearings go up, I see a lot of potential savings.
I have decided to develop informal channels of communication. From tomorrow I will spend a little time next to the coffee machine to understand the unspoken messages within the underbelly of the firm.
(That OD book is good)
August 14th
Dear Diary,
I sent my first official letter today. It was to our Facilities manager Merry Le Bian. She is a hottie. I told her that the Coffee Machine takes too much time to reheat between refills. Wrote it in a WAC format and all with a table of contents and everything. She is sure going to be impressed!! I spell checked it in MS word and emailed it to her an hour ago. No reply yet.
They scrapped the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The photo shoot was taking up too much time, and people were being forced to stay late without extra pay. Someone finally went and vandalised the banner. It now reads "Our Employers Shove Us". I offered to model for all the snaps and videos. They called me a dickhead. I was delighted. Dickhead is internal slang for "Big Stud". HR told me. Everyone calls me that...
P.S. One more shipment of ball bearings came. Again 4384. The contract can't be changed now. I dont have too much space left in my cupboard.
August 25th
Dear Diary,
My letter came back. It had a pink post-it on it from Merry. "Please proofread" it said. It was CC'd to my boss. How was I supposed to know MS Word would spell check her name and change it to Merry Lesbian????!!!!
Where's natural justice?
Today five minutes before a meeting the cupboard door broke open. It took me ten minutes to pick up all the ball bearings from the floor. I had to run to the board room for the meeting and slipped on a bearing which rolled under the door. I fell on the coffee machine and tipped coffee powder into the polymer mixing matching tray. No one saw anything.
P.S. Sorry for the long break. My computer crashed. There was a mail from an old friend. She's now married into the Welchia family I think. Crashed after that. Strange name that Welchia...
September 02nd
Dear Diary,
My boss told me I may not last the probation period. I was mighty thrilled to hear that. Imagine!! Permanent in less than three months!!
That should be some sort of company record.
I made a presentation to all the staff yesterday. Some 300 people were there. I think I sent good vibes. Everyone was smiling and nodding their heads during the presentation. Someone later told me my fly was open the whole time. But, I don't think anyone noticed. The presentation was on "An Open Culture: Let the feeling show!!"
p.s. 17156 ball bearings. I floated a scheme to give each employee a ball bearing for every year of service. The HR manager immediately convened a meeting with my boss. Every suggestion counts here at PWC.
September 04th
Dear Diary,
I have been transferred to the office in Sub-Saharan Africa. I will be heading the Room Heater and Hot Water Geyser products division. They have also told me to pay for all the ball bearings I bought. I think it speaks much of the entrepreneurial spirit. I have been told to leave immediately for Kujumbinana.
P.S. A foreign posting in under a year!!!
September 05th
Dear Diary,
I am in Kujumbinana. We don't have a branch here...
I can't hold myself down. My FIRST day on the job!! And I like it already.
"Assistant Junior Deputy to the Vice Chairman - Manufacturing". My dad was thrilled when he heard my designation.
"What the f!@#!!!" were his exact words. Oh I love it when my parents are happy...
Need to meet HR in half an hour. I can't wait to get my first Employee ID Card and cubicle. I hope Parthasarathy Whatayblouse Crappers (PWC) is the beginning of great things.
P.S. I have brought my favorite textbooks back from the institute OD, OM and HR should help me grow rapidly in the organization. And I WILL handle soft issues before facing hard issues here at PWC.
July 28th
Dear Diary,
Had a lot of fun with HR yesterday. The guy who had recruited me had left a month ago. So they didn't know I was joining. We had a hearty laugh over that one.
I'll get my cubicle in a few days time. For the time being I am sharing a nice one with Claire. She's with Corporate Communication.
The phone doesn't work though...
August 02nd
Dear Diary,
Met my boss today. He spent a lot of time with my CV and then asked me how I managed to get a job with them. (Even he knows how lucky they are to get me..) He told me to review our material ordering system in the err... umm... the... the "big yellow and blue noisy machine section" of the plant.
Claire is working on an "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The office boy had just resigned. So, she got me to pose with an apron and a tray of cookies for a photo. They are going to call me Ramon and use it for ads. I am going to be famous.
August 07th
Dear Diary,
My first breakthrough. I have decided to order nickel ball bearings using the EQO.. QEO... whatever formula. It takes into account item cost, holding cost and weight of ball bearing I think. The purchase guy gave me a funny look when he saw my annual requisition contract form. He is obviously not an MBA...
Claire resigned today. She told me carry on with the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign.
P.S. Lesson for the week. You cannot order 0.7564 of a ball bearing. It has to be in whole numbers.
August 11th
Dear Diary,
I just got a shipment of 4384 ball bearings. I checked up with Engineering.
They said that should be enough for around 14 years of requirement. I gave them 3 and stashed away the rest in a cupboard in my room. If prices of ball bearings go up, I see a lot of potential savings.
I have decided to develop informal channels of communication. From tomorrow I will spend a little time next to the coffee machine to understand the unspoken messages within the underbelly of the firm.
(That OD book is good)
August 14th
Dear Diary,
I sent my first official letter today. It was to our Facilities manager Merry Le Bian. She is a hottie. I told her that the Coffee Machine takes too much time to reheat between refills. Wrote it in a WAC format and all with a table of contents and everything. She is sure going to be impressed!! I spell checked it in MS word and emailed it to her an hour ago. No reply yet.
They scrapped the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The photo shoot was taking up too much time, and people were being forced to stay late without extra pay. Someone finally went and vandalised the banner. It now reads "Our Employers Shove Us". I offered to model for all the snaps and videos. They called me a dickhead. I was delighted. Dickhead is internal slang for "Big Stud". HR told me. Everyone calls me that...
P.S. One more shipment of ball bearings came. Again 4384. The contract can't be changed now. I dont have too much space left in my cupboard.
August 25th
Dear Diary,
My letter came back. It had a pink post-it on it from Merry. "Please proofread" it said. It was CC'd to my boss. How was I supposed to know MS Word would spell check her name and change it to Merry Lesbian????!!!!
Where's natural justice?
Today five minutes before a meeting the cupboard door broke open. It took me ten minutes to pick up all the ball bearings from the floor. I had to run to the board room for the meeting and slipped on a bearing which rolled under the door. I fell on the coffee machine and tipped coffee powder into the polymer mixing matching tray. No one saw anything.
P.S. Sorry for the long break. My computer crashed. There was a mail from an old friend. She's now married into the Welchia family I think. Crashed after that. Strange name that Welchia...
September 02nd
Dear Diary,
My boss told me I may not last the probation period. I was mighty thrilled to hear that. Imagine!! Permanent in less than three months!!
That should be some sort of company record.
I made a presentation to all the staff yesterday. Some 300 people were there. I think I sent good vibes. Everyone was smiling and nodding their heads during the presentation. Someone later told me my fly was open the whole time. But, I don't think anyone noticed. The presentation was on "An Open Culture: Let the feeling show!!"
p.s. 17156 ball bearings. I floated a scheme to give each employee a ball bearing for every year of service. The HR manager immediately convened a meeting with my boss. Every suggestion counts here at PWC.
September 04th
Dear Diary,
I have been transferred to the office in Sub-Saharan Africa. I will be heading the Room Heater and Hot Water Geyser products division. They have also told me to pay for all the ball bearings I bought. I think it speaks much of the entrepreneurial spirit. I have been told to leave immediately for Kujumbinana.
P.S. A foreign posting in under a year!!!
September 05th
Dear Diary,
I am in Kujumbinana. We don't have a branch here...
13 June 2006
12 June 2006
The Suicide
Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.
Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.
He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die "
Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says " Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor"
Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch."
The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch."
The sardarji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch."
Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.
He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die "
Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says " Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor"
Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch."
The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch."
The sardarji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch."
Bengali Poem (Good)
Through the jongole I am went
On shooting Tiger I am bent
Bustaard Tiger has eaten wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life
Too much quiet, snakes and leeches
But I not fear these sons of beeches
Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from damn fool's heart
Taking care not to be fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight
Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down
Then like hero return to native town
Then through trees I am espying one cave
I am telling self - "Bholanath be brave"
I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger's lair
My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start to pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day
Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting this Bengalee
He bounding from cave like football player Pele
I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele"
Through the jongole I am running
With Tiger on my tail closer looming
I am a telling that never in life
I will risk again for my damn fool wife.
On shooting Tiger I am bent
Bustaard Tiger has eaten wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life
Too much quiet, snakes and leeches
But I not fear these sons of beeches
Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from damn fool's heart
Taking care not to be fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight
Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down
Then like hero return to native town
Then through trees I am espying one cave
I am telling self - "Bholanath be brave"
I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger's lair
My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start to pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day
Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting this Bengalee
He bounding from cave like football player Pele
I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele"
Through the jongole I am running
With Tiger on my tail closer looming
I am a telling that never in life
I will risk again for my damn fool wife.
What Makes a Great Partner?
Someone who knows what U need before U say it.
Someone who knows when to laugh & when to cry.
Someone who truly listens when U have something to say.
Someone that's there for U during the good & bad times.
Someone who is caring .
Someone who loves U with all their heart & soul.
Someone who is interested in reality & not as a fashion display.
Someone who is honest.
Someone U can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend but most of all, love as the great lover they are.
Someone who is open & responsive.
Someone who is never critical & ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
Someone who understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who's there for U no matter what.
Someone who is trustful.
Someone who is a friend.
Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
Someone with a great sense of humor.
Someone who has things in common with you.
Someone who takes time to listen & enjoy U for who U are & tries not to make U something else.
Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, & open mind to accept & love people for who the really are.
Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument & love U for everything that U are.
Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff U love.
Someone that has a personality with qualities U don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
Someone who realizes you're two separate people, & appreciates the differences.
Someone who can sense a mood problem, & not take it personally.
Someone who understands the difference between PMS, & a real problem.
Someone who can make U happy when your sad.
Someone who tells U the truth even if U don't want to hear it.
Someone who will not hurt U intentionally.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes U no matter what.
Someone that U can laugh with.
Someone who U can feel comfortable with & that U don't care what kind of weird stuff they see U do because U know they will still love U no matter what.
Someone who will love U in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, & a great lover!
Someone who allows U to be yourself around them.
Someone who will respect you.
Someone who cherishes your hopes & is kind to your dreams.
Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats U as though U are.
Someone who listens with their heart & is your source of inspiration.
Someone who knows when to laugh & when to cry.
Someone who truly listens when U have something to say.
Someone that's there for U during the good & bad times.
Someone who is caring .
Someone who loves U with all their heart & soul.
Someone who is interested in reality & not as a fashion display.
Someone who is honest.
Someone U can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend but most of all, love as the great lover they are.
Someone who is open & responsive.
Someone who is never critical & ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
Someone who understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who's there for U no matter what.
Someone who is trustful.
Someone who is a friend.
Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
Someone with a great sense of humor.
Someone who has things in common with you.
Someone who takes time to listen & enjoy U for who U are & tries not to make U something else.
Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, & open mind to accept & love people for who the really are.
Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument & love U for everything that U are.
Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff U love.
Someone that has a personality with qualities U don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
Someone who realizes you're two separate people, & appreciates the differences.
Someone who can sense a mood problem, & not take it personally.
Someone who understands the difference between PMS, & a real problem.
Someone who can make U happy when your sad.
Someone who tells U the truth even if U don't want to hear it.
Someone who will not hurt U intentionally.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes U no matter what.
Someone that U can laugh with.
Someone who U can feel comfortable with & that U don't care what kind of weird stuff they see U do because U know they will still love U no matter what.
Someone who will love U in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, & a great lover!
Someone who allows U to be yourself around them.
Someone who will respect you.
Someone who cherishes your hopes & is kind to your dreams.
Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats U as though U are.
Someone who listens with their heart & is your source of inspiration.
Top 10 Players in the Soccer World Cup
Here are 10 players that may provide some compelling stories during & after the upcoming World Cup.
Marvin Andrews
Last spring "Marvelous" Marvin rejected medical advice & chose not to have his injured right knee operated on. Rather, he opted for the power of prayer & in the process he has astounded the medical establishment. The powerfully built defender had moved from his native Trinidad in 1997 to join Scottish club Raith Rovers.
He then moved to Livingstone & turned down a move to Dundee United saying that God had told him that it was not the right move. In 2004 he joined Glasgow Rangers but before his first season was up he suffered a serious injury to the cruciate ligament in one of his knees.
Putting his trust in a greater power Andrews was back playing before the end of the season & he continues to be an important part of the Rangers defense. When he isn't stopping the opposition he spends much of his time as a preacher at a church in Kirkcaldy, Scotland.
Ronaldinho
In the history of world soccer, a select few names will stand the eternal test of time — Pele, Maradona, & Beckenbauer come to mind, but a new phenom from Brazil is giving the legends a run for their money. His name is Ronaldinho.
The dentally-challenged Brazilian superstar has already won a World Cup in 2002, & then added the world's most prestigious club title to his resume this month by winning the European Champions League with FC Barcelona at the Stade de France in Paris. His mastery of the ball at pace or simply standing still is awe inspiring, & there's not a single move he makes without an enormous grin on his face, as if he's in on the biggest secret in the world & no one else knows a thing about it.
Although his wizardry with the leather is known the world over, the line was drawn when it was verified (by Ronaldinho himself) that a video stunt of the midfield maestro repeatedly passing a ball off a crossbar back to himself without it ever touching the ground was nothing more than a cleverly staged trick.
But few doubt that he won't provide some magic in Germany.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
The Swedish forward will never be considered a shrinking violet. He has been described as egotistical & arrogant with a hair-trigger temper — & these are some of his good qualities!
Zlatan Ibrahimovic plays with the ball before a friendly match against Finland
After a tough match against England in 2004, a reporter asked him, "You have some scars on your face there — what happened?"
"Well, I don't know. You'll have to ask your wife about that," Ibrahimovic responded.
The tall striker with the light touch took Italy's Serie A by storm after he arrived from Ajax in the late summer of 2004 after a series of impressive performances at Euro 2004. He scored 16 goals in his first season but the just completed campaign has seen his form dip & his scoring rate drop off. For Sweden to prosper at the tournament Ibrahimovic has to step up.
Luca Toni
Toni is a consummate late bloomer. During a career in Italy that has seen the 6-foot-4 Toni play for nine different clubs, it is only in the last three seasons that his goal-scoring exploits have singled him out as one of most dangerous strikers in Europe. Luca Toni's movie star good looks should make him a fan favorite in Germany
Over his first nine seasons he managed just 64 goals in league play; in the last three seasons with Palermo & Fiorentina he has scored over 80 goals. This past season he became the first player to score more than 30 goals in Serie A since 1958-59 & finished as the winner of Europe's Golden Shoe.
With his movie-star looks he could become one of the most photographed players of the tournament & a reason why wives & girlfriends may take a sudden interest in when Italy play's next.
Oguchi Onyewu
Team USA's 24-year-old defender earns his living playing for Standard Liege in the Belgian league. After progressing through various U.S. age-group teams he first moved to France four years ago before settling in Belgium. He made his full international debut against Panama in the fall of 2004.
At 6-foot-4 he is hard to miss on the field & has become a firm favorite with American fans. If the USA is to progress to the knockout stage at this World Cup then the charismatic "Gooch" is likely to play a big part — literally & figuratively.
David Beckham
Arguably the most recognized footballer in the world, the devilishly handsome Beckham, who made his name with Manchester United in the English Premier League, is as famous for his exploits off the field as his performances on it.
Never one to shy away from an opportunity to increase his own brand or start a new trend in hairstyles, Beckham is a P.R. dream for any company or agency fortunate enough to have the cash to splash for his endorsement services.
When Beckham moved with Spice Girl wife Victoria to Spain in 2003 after signing for powerhouse club Real Madrid, the first-day sales of Beckham jerseys came out to nearly $1 million dollars, before he ever kicked a single ball.
Ronaldo
The birth certificate says that he is 29 but his body would disagree. Ronaldo was part of the 1994 World Cup-winning Brazil squad but he was taken to the USA mainly to gain experience. At the next tournament four years later he arrived as the best player in the world but left with a mysterious seizure just hours before the final. It's something that has yet to be fully explained.
A series of injuries put his career into doubt let alone an appearance at World Cup 2002. Brazil — & Ronaldo — arrived with few people picking them to do well after a largely lack luster qualifying campaign. They left as the winners & the best team in the tournament by a country mile. In the process Ronaldo reestablished himself as one of the world's top players by winning the Golden Shoe after scoring eight times including a final game double against Germany.
A transfer from Inter Milan to Real Madrid followed & although club success has largely eluded him over the last three seasons Ronaldo retains a talisman-type quality for the national team.
Didier Drogba
The former midfield player converted to striker moved from Marseilles to Chelsea for $42M in the summer of 2004. Although his performances for Chelsea have failed to substantiate the transfer fee Drogba's performances for the Ivory Coast rank him as one of the most dangerous forwards in Germany this summer. His value to the "Elephants" is almost immeasurable both as a goal scorer — 09 in World Cup qualifying — & as a leader. Back in the Ivory Coast a particularly strong one-liter beer is known as a Drogba & this summer he will be featured in an advertising campaign throughout Europe that promotes the use of cocoa produced in the African nation.
Paulo Wanchope
One of Costa Rica's greatest soccer exports Wanchope can look like one of the world's great players one moment & the next look like an absolute beginner.
He is still remembered for a spectacular solo goal that he scored on his debut for Derby County against Manchester United in 1997. After a spell at Derby he moved on to West Ham United & Manchester City. Two years ago he was transferred from City to Malaga of the Spanish league.
He has represented Costa Rica over 60 times & is Costa Rica's career goal-scoring leader. Even though he has bounced from club to club Wanchope is not yet 30 years-old & he has the ability to breakdown even the most organized of defenses with a style that is often awkward looking but one that can be extremely effective.
Goleo
The lion is the latest in a line of World Cup mascots that started in England in 1966 with "World Cup Willie".
Unfortunately, the 2006 mascot that was designed by the Jim Henson Company has so far proved to be a bit of a bust, particularly for a German toy company called Nici. The company supposedly paid out the equivalent of the price of a world-class striker for the right to manufacture a number of "Goleo" toys in Europe.
Sales have been disappointing & the company was forced to file for protection from creditors just a few weeks ago.
Marvin Andrews
Last spring "Marvelous" Marvin rejected medical advice & chose not to have his injured right knee operated on. Rather, he opted for the power of prayer & in the process he has astounded the medical establishment. The powerfully built defender had moved from his native Trinidad in 1997 to join Scottish club Raith Rovers.
He then moved to Livingstone & turned down a move to Dundee United saying that God had told him that it was not the right move. In 2004 he joined Glasgow Rangers but before his first season was up he suffered a serious injury to the cruciate ligament in one of his knees.
Putting his trust in a greater power Andrews was back playing before the end of the season & he continues to be an important part of the Rangers defense. When he isn't stopping the opposition he spends much of his time as a preacher at a church in Kirkcaldy, Scotland.
Ronaldinho
In the history of world soccer, a select few names will stand the eternal test of time — Pele, Maradona, & Beckenbauer come to mind, but a new phenom from Brazil is giving the legends a run for their money. His name is Ronaldinho.
The dentally-challenged Brazilian superstar has already won a World Cup in 2002, & then added the world's most prestigious club title to his resume this month by winning the European Champions League with FC Barcelona at the Stade de France in Paris. His mastery of the ball at pace or simply standing still is awe inspiring, & there's not a single move he makes without an enormous grin on his face, as if he's in on the biggest secret in the world & no one else knows a thing about it.
Although his wizardry with the leather is known the world over, the line was drawn when it was verified (by Ronaldinho himself) that a video stunt of the midfield maestro repeatedly passing a ball off a crossbar back to himself without it ever touching the ground was nothing more than a cleverly staged trick.
But few doubt that he won't provide some magic in Germany.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
The Swedish forward will never be considered a shrinking violet. He has been described as egotistical & arrogant with a hair-trigger temper — & these are some of his good qualities!
Zlatan Ibrahimovic plays with the ball before a friendly match against Finland
After a tough match against England in 2004, a reporter asked him, "You have some scars on your face there — what happened?"
"Well, I don't know. You'll have to ask your wife about that," Ibrahimovic responded.
The tall striker with the light touch took Italy's Serie A by storm after he arrived from Ajax in the late summer of 2004 after a series of impressive performances at Euro 2004. He scored 16 goals in his first season but the just completed campaign has seen his form dip & his scoring rate drop off. For Sweden to prosper at the tournament Ibrahimovic has to step up.
Luca Toni
Toni is a consummate late bloomer. During a career in Italy that has seen the 6-foot-4 Toni play for nine different clubs, it is only in the last three seasons that his goal-scoring exploits have singled him out as one of most dangerous strikers in Europe. Luca Toni's movie star good looks should make him a fan favorite in Germany
Over his first nine seasons he managed just 64 goals in league play; in the last three seasons with Palermo & Fiorentina he has scored over 80 goals. This past season he became the first player to score more than 30 goals in Serie A since 1958-59 & finished as the winner of Europe's Golden Shoe.
With his movie-star looks he could become one of the most photographed players of the tournament & a reason why wives & girlfriends may take a sudden interest in when Italy play's next.
Oguchi Onyewu
Team USA's 24-year-old defender earns his living playing for Standard Liege in the Belgian league. After progressing through various U.S. age-group teams he first moved to France four years ago before settling in Belgium. He made his full international debut against Panama in the fall of 2004.
At 6-foot-4 he is hard to miss on the field & has become a firm favorite with American fans. If the USA is to progress to the knockout stage at this World Cup then the charismatic "Gooch" is likely to play a big part — literally & figuratively.
David Beckham
Arguably the most recognized footballer in the world, the devilishly handsome Beckham, who made his name with Manchester United in the English Premier League, is as famous for his exploits off the field as his performances on it.
Never one to shy away from an opportunity to increase his own brand or start a new trend in hairstyles, Beckham is a P.R. dream for any company or agency fortunate enough to have the cash to splash for his endorsement services.
When Beckham moved with Spice Girl wife Victoria to Spain in 2003 after signing for powerhouse club Real Madrid, the first-day sales of Beckham jerseys came out to nearly $1 million dollars, before he ever kicked a single ball.
Ronaldo
The birth certificate says that he is 29 but his body would disagree. Ronaldo was part of the 1994 World Cup-winning Brazil squad but he was taken to the USA mainly to gain experience. At the next tournament four years later he arrived as the best player in the world but left with a mysterious seizure just hours before the final. It's something that has yet to be fully explained.
A series of injuries put his career into doubt let alone an appearance at World Cup 2002. Brazil — & Ronaldo — arrived with few people picking them to do well after a largely lack luster qualifying campaign. They left as the winners & the best team in the tournament by a country mile. In the process Ronaldo reestablished himself as one of the world's top players by winning the Golden Shoe after scoring eight times including a final game double against Germany.
A transfer from Inter Milan to Real Madrid followed & although club success has largely eluded him over the last three seasons Ronaldo retains a talisman-type quality for the national team.
Didier Drogba
The former midfield player converted to striker moved from Marseilles to Chelsea for $42M in the summer of 2004. Although his performances for Chelsea have failed to substantiate the transfer fee Drogba's performances for the Ivory Coast rank him as one of the most dangerous forwards in Germany this summer. His value to the "Elephants" is almost immeasurable both as a goal scorer — 09 in World Cup qualifying — & as a leader. Back in the Ivory Coast a particularly strong one-liter beer is known as a Drogba & this summer he will be featured in an advertising campaign throughout Europe that promotes the use of cocoa produced in the African nation.
Paulo Wanchope
One of Costa Rica's greatest soccer exports Wanchope can look like one of the world's great players one moment & the next look like an absolute beginner.
He is still remembered for a spectacular solo goal that he scored on his debut for Derby County against Manchester United in 1997. After a spell at Derby he moved on to West Ham United & Manchester City. Two years ago he was transferred from City to Malaga of the Spanish league.
He has represented Costa Rica over 60 times & is Costa Rica's career goal-scoring leader. Even though he has bounced from club to club Wanchope is not yet 30 years-old & he has the ability to breakdown even the most organized of defenses with a style that is often awkward looking but one that can be extremely effective.
Goleo
The lion is the latest in a line of World Cup mascots that started in England in 1966 with "World Cup Willie".
Unfortunately, the 2006 mascot that was designed by the Jim Henson Company has so far proved to be a bit of a bust, particularly for a German toy company called Nici. The company supposedly paid out the equivalent of the price of a world-class striker for the right to manufacture a number of "Goleo" toys in Europe.
Sales have been disappointing & the company was forced to file for protection from creditors just a few weeks ago.
09 June 2006
FIFA - Official Indian Rules
To
Ladies of the World,
1. From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor... it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
10. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves.
Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
11. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years".
I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.
12. Thank you for your co-operation.
Regards,
Men of the World
VIA: E-Mail Forward.
Ladies of the World,
1. From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor... it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
10. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves.
Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
11. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years".
I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.
12. Thank you for your co-operation.
Regards,
Men of the World
VIA: E-Mail Forward.
Ultimate Female Joke
It has long been contended that there are male jokes & there are female jokes, & there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it & men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)
Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over & whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, & then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, & slowly & meaningfully said....
"Clean my house."
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)
Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over & whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, & then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, & slowly & meaningfully said....
"Clean my house."
08 June 2006
Your Personality
HAPHAZARD UNDRESSER
If you throw your clothes all over the house, you are a friendly, life-of-the-party type.
You are: free with your thoughts & opinions, not caring much about what others think of you.
METICULOUS UNDRESSER
If you remove each piece of clothing & put it away carefully, you are a serious person who likes life very calm.
You are: comfortable with routine & you believe that the best way to deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place.
SHOES & SOCKS FIRST UNDRESSER
You methodically remove your shoes & socks beforeyou begin undressing.
You are: a perfectionist, a bit shy, observant, dependable, intense & think before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically, with concentration. You know how to pay attention.
SLOW UNDRESSER
You take off the shirt & ten minutes later get around to taking off your pants or skirt.
You are: extremely self-confident, intellectual, a deep thinker & don't like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.
FAST UNDRESSER
You get out of your clothes as quickly as possible.
You are: concerned about others & what they expect from you but you're worried about your own needs.
You are family-oriented & stay extremely busy.
JEWELRY OFF FIRST UNDRESSER
You take off your rings, watch, etc. before anything else.
You are: warm, thoughtful, sensitive & romantic.
NEVER THE SAME WAY UNDRESSER
You never undress the same way twice.
You are: a very curious, interesting person & you enjoy a broad range of activities.
You take risks & enjoy fun & adventure.
If you throw your clothes all over the house, you are a friendly, life-of-the-party type.
You are: free with your thoughts & opinions, not caring much about what others think of you.
METICULOUS UNDRESSER
If you remove each piece of clothing & put it away carefully, you are a serious person who likes life very calm.
You are: comfortable with routine & you believe that the best way to deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place.
SHOES & SOCKS FIRST UNDRESSER
You methodically remove your shoes & socks beforeyou begin undressing.
You are: a perfectionist, a bit shy, observant, dependable, intense & think before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically, with concentration. You know how to pay attention.
SLOW UNDRESSER
You take off the shirt & ten minutes later get around to taking off your pants or skirt.
You are: extremely self-confident, intellectual, a deep thinker & don't like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.
FAST UNDRESSER
You get out of your clothes as quickly as possible.
You are: concerned about others & what they expect from you but you're worried about your own needs.
You are family-oriented & stay extremely busy.
JEWELRY OFF FIRST UNDRESSER
You take off your rings, watch, etc. before anything else.
You are: warm, thoughtful, sensitive & romantic.
NEVER THE SAME WAY UNDRESSER
You never undress the same way twice.
You are: a very curious, interesting person & you enjoy a broad range of activities.
You take risks & enjoy fun & adventure.
Corporate Zodiac
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking & socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered & paranoid. Unless someone calls you & begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY/MIS: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergo-dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...
FINANCE: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, & mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager".
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager".
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room & a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service". Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
CONSULTANT/CONTRACTOR: Just three little numbers... 666.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered & paranoid. Unless someone calls you & begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY/MIS: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergo-dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...
FINANCE: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, & mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager".
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager".
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room & a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service". Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
CONSULTANT/CONTRACTOR: Just three little numbers... 666.
Beggars can be Choosers
A man walks past a beggar every day & gives him Rs. 10 & that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50.
"Well," the beggar thinks, " it's still better than nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.
"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. " First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7.50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"
"Well," the man says," last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further ."
" And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.
" Four," the man replies.
" Well," says the beggar, " I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense".
"Well," the beggar thinks, " it's still better than nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.
"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. " First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7.50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"
"Well," the man says," last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further ."
" And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.
" Four," the man replies.
" Well," says the beggar, " I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense".
Ask Another Doctor
The doctor & his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!"
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends & called home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. "What took you so long to answer & why are you panting?"
"I was in bed."
"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion"
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends & called home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. "What took you so long to answer & why are you panting?"
"I was in bed."
"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion"
Valentines Day Date..
Today is Valentine’s Day. I came out of the shower and checked my wardrobe to select the best pair of dress I have. I could hear the giggle of my room mates. They knew that I liked some girl but I never mentioned the details about her to them. One of them teased me with a cute college girl who catches the bus in the same stop where we board. I silently enjoyed their pranks and went about my way of getting dressed up for the occasion. This is a special occasion and I knew she likes nothing less than the best.
Let me introduce her to you on my way to the office. She is one of those rare girls whom you instantly fall in love with. A cute smile, charming face, kid like attitude, innocent features, she has everything. I love her more than anything in this world (except my mom of course). Talking to her became my only passion in life. We argue, fight, laugh, cry and each of those moments are treasured more than anything else. Oh I could see a beautiful bouquet shop on the road. She loves roses by the way. Her cheeks resemble the red roses, let me not describe more. I got down from the cab and bought a nice bouquet for her. I know she would love to have this today. I reached office on time and when I entered my cubicle I could see a lot of raised eyebrows.
One of my colleagues asked me, “Hey, Is it for your girl friend?” I simply nodded and smiled and kept the bouquet in my place. Some of my colleagues believed that I liked a girl in the adjacent wing and used to tease me with her. At times, even I joined them in the fun. So many women around you in this world, you meet a lot of them every day, but how will these people know that no one can replace the special one who makes your world. Time was ticking slowly. I called her up to confirm the appointment in the evening. Poor girl, she has to travel a lot of distance to reach the meeting point. And I didn’t want her to wait for me.
I am waiting for the clock to strike five so that I can leave the office. Let me tell you some more details about her in the meanwhile. But, guys, promise me that you wont fall in love with her coz she is the only one I cherish and preserve in my life. She will be awake all night when I have night shifts and critical project dead lines. She cares for me like a mother, she is a great friend and at times becomes my child. I don’t introduce her even to my friends because of the fear of losing her. Thank God, the clock has struck five. I got ready to leave.
She loves chocolates and there was never an occasion when I met her without a chocolate. I went to a nearby shop and bought the best chocolates for her. I hope I haven’t forgotten anything. I took my friends bike and raced to the meeting spot. I don’t want my dear to be waiting for me over there. I parked the bike outside the gate. It was quite a lonely place and we enjoyed a lot of privacy every time we met. I could see from a distance, she was sitting over there. Her face was glowing like a radiant moon, with the sun setting at the back drop. I went near her and kissed her on the cheek. Gentle wind started blowing and gave me the feeling of her warm embrace which I long everyday.
I placed the bouquet on her grave and our eternal chat started. I don’t know when it got dark and it was time she had to leave. Tears started flowing down my face, but then she had to go….I slowly started walking back, and I reached home very late. My room mates haven’t slept till then. They were waiting to hear the happenings of the day. One of them grabbed my cell and redialed the last number that I have called.
He was disappointed to hear a lady telling him that the number no longer exists. How will he or for that matter any one know who she is. Her physical presence can no longer be felt, but her memories have fully occupied my heart.
Let me introduce her to you on my way to the office. She is one of those rare girls whom you instantly fall in love with. A cute smile, charming face, kid like attitude, innocent features, she has everything. I love her more than anything in this world (except my mom of course). Talking to her became my only passion in life. We argue, fight, laugh, cry and each of those moments are treasured more than anything else. Oh I could see a beautiful bouquet shop on the road. She loves roses by the way. Her cheeks resemble the red roses, let me not describe more. I got down from the cab and bought a nice bouquet for her. I know she would love to have this today. I reached office on time and when I entered my cubicle I could see a lot of raised eyebrows.
One of my colleagues asked me, “Hey, Is it for your girl friend?” I simply nodded and smiled and kept the bouquet in my place. Some of my colleagues believed that I liked a girl in the adjacent wing and used to tease me with her. At times, even I joined them in the fun. So many women around you in this world, you meet a lot of them every day, but how will these people know that no one can replace the special one who makes your world. Time was ticking slowly. I called her up to confirm the appointment in the evening. Poor girl, she has to travel a lot of distance to reach the meeting point. And I didn’t want her to wait for me.
I am waiting for the clock to strike five so that I can leave the office. Let me tell you some more details about her in the meanwhile. But, guys, promise me that you wont fall in love with her coz she is the only one I cherish and preserve in my life. She will be awake all night when I have night shifts and critical project dead lines. She cares for me like a mother, she is a great friend and at times becomes my child. I don’t introduce her even to my friends because of the fear of losing her. Thank God, the clock has struck five. I got ready to leave.
She loves chocolates and there was never an occasion when I met her without a chocolate. I went to a nearby shop and bought the best chocolates for her. I hope I haven’t forgotten anything. I took my friends bike and raced to the meeting spot. I don’t want my dear to be waiting for me over there. I parked the bike outside the gate. It was quite a lonely place and we enjoyed a lot of privacy every time we met. I could see from a distance, she was sitting over there. Her face was glowing like a radiant moon, with the sun setting at the back drop. I went near her and kissed her on the cheek. Gentle wind started blowing and gave me the feeling of her warm embrace which I long everyday.
I placed the bouquet on her grave and our eternal chat started. I don’t know when it got dark and it was time she had to leave. Tears started flowing down my face, but then she had to go….I slowly started walking back, and I reached home very late. My room mates haven’t slept till then. They were waiting to hear the happenings of the day. One of them grabbed my cell and redialed the last number that I have called.
He was disappointed to hear a lady telling him that the number no longer exists. How will he or for that matter any one know who she is. Her physical presence can no longer be felt, but her memories have fully occupied my heart.
Chicken Run....
Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed & falling asleep.
All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom, & who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St.Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT, Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die, I'm too young." said Harry. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter, "you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own..."
Harry thought about it for a while, & figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice & relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen." Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But man, now "he" felt like the rear end was gonna blow ....then along came the rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he said.
"How does it feel?"
"Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on.
"Have you never laid an egg before??"
"No, how do I do that?" Harry asked.
"Cluck twice, & then you push all you can."
Harry clucked twice, & pushed more than he was good for, & then 'Plop' & an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Harry said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again & squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Harry, for Gods sake wake up, you're shitting all over the bed!"
:-)
All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom, & who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St.Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT, Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die, I'm too young." said Harry. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter, "you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own..."
Harry thought about it for a while, & figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice & relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen." Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But man, now "he" felt like the rear end was gonna blow ....then along came the rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he said.
"How does it feel?"
"Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on.
"Have you never laid an egg before??"
"No, how do I do that?" Harry asked.
"Cluck twice, & then you push all you can."
Harry clucked twice, & pushed more than he was good for, & then 'Plop' & an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Harry said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again & squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Harry, for Gods sake wake up, you're shitting all over the bed!"
:-)
07 June 2006
Food as Medicine!
Headache - Eat Fish!
Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches. So, does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.
Hay Fever - Eat Yogurt!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season. Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.
To Prevent Stroke - Drink Tea!
Prevent build-up of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (Green tea is great for our immune system)!
Insomnia (Can't Sleep?) Honey!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.
Aathma? Eat Onions!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes.
Arthritis - Eat Fish!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)
Upset Stomach - Bananas & Ginger!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach. Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.
Bladder Infection - Drink Cranberry Juice!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.
Bone Problems - Eat Pineapple!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.
Premenstrual Syndrome - Eat Cornflakes!
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.
Memory Problems - Eat Oysters!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.
Cold - Eat Garlic!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)
Coughing - Use Red Peppers!
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.
Breast Cancer - Eat Wheat, Bran & Cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogens at healthy levels.
Lung Cancer - Eat Dark Green & Orange & Veggies!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.
Ulcers - Eat Cabbage!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.
Diarrhea - Eat Apples!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown & eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)
Clogged Arteries - Eat Avocado!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.
High Blood Pressure - Eat Celery & Olive Oil!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure. Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.
Blood Sugar Imbalance - Eat Broccoli & Peanuts!
The chromium in broccoli & peanuts helps regulate insulin & blood sugar.
Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches. So, does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.
Hay Fever - Eat Yogurt!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season. Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.
To Prevent Stroke - Drink Tea!
Prevent build-up of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (Green tea is great for our immune system)!
Insomnia (Can't Sleep?) Honey!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.
Aathma? Eat Onions!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes.
Arthritis - Eat Fish!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)
Upset Stomach - Bananas & Ginger!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach. Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.
Bladder Infection - Drink Cranberry Juice!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.
Bone Problems - Eat Pineapple!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.
Premenstrual Syndrome - Eat Cornflakes!
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.
Memory Problems - Eat Oysters!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.
Cold - Eat Garlic!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)
Coughing - Use Red Peppers!
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.
Breast Cancer - Eat Wheat, Bran & Cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogens at healthy levels.
Lung Cancer - Eat Dark Green & Orange & Veggies!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.
Ulcers - Eat Cabbage!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.
Diarrhea - Eat Apples!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown & eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)
Clogged Arteries - Eat Avocado!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.
High Blood Pressure - Eat Celery & Olive Oil!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure. Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.
Blood Sugar Imbalance - Eat Broccoli & Peanuts!
The chromium in broccoli & peanuts helps regulate insulin & blood sugar.
Grafitti
• One thing a man learns from an argument with a woman is how to be a good loser.
• Never trust a girl who says she loves you more than anyone else in the world; it shows she has been experimenting.
• Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.
• The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
• I never turn my back on my friends, I don't trust them that much
• On the internet nothing is illegal, its all e-legal...
• It is a medically proven fact that people with the most birthdays live the longest!
• I'm so old that, when I was in school, history was called current affairs.
• Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.
• I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
• Never trust a girl who says she loves you more than anyone else in the world; it shows she has been experimenting.
• Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.
• The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
• I never turn my back on my friends, I don't trust them that much
• On the internet nothing is illegal, its all e-legal...
• It is a medically proven fact that people with the most birthdays live the longest!
• I'm so old that, when I was in school, history was called current affairs.
• Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.
• I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
A Smart Talking Dog
A man & his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy & says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy & says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
Complete Listing of World Wonders
The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World
The Great Pyramid of Giza
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
The Statue of Zeus at Olympia
The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
The Colossus of Rhodes
The Pharos of Alexandria
The Seven Wonders of the Medieval Mind
Stonehenge
The Colosseum
The Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa
The Great Wall of China
The Porcelain Tower of Nanjing
The Hagia Sophia
The Leaning Tower of Pisa
The Seven Natural Wonders of the World
Mount Everest
The Great Barrier Reef
The Grand Canyon
Victoria Falls
The Harbor of Rio de Janeiro
Paricutin Volcano
The Northern Lights
The Seven Underwater Wonders of the World
Palau
The Belize Barrier Reef
The Galapagos Islands
The Northern Red Sea
Lake Baikal
The Great Barrier Reef
The Deep Sea Vents
The Seven Wonders of the Modern World
The Empire State Building
The Itaipú Dam
The CN Tower
The Panama Canal
The Channel Tunnel
The North Sea Protection Works
The Golden Gate Bridge
The Seven Forgotten Natural Wonders of the World
Angel Falls
The Bay of Fundy
Iguaçú Falls
Krakatoa Island
Mount Fuji
Mount Kilimanjaro
Niagara Falls
The Seven Forgotten Modern Wonders of the World
The Clock Tower (Big Ben)
Eiffel Tower
The Gateway Arch
The Aswan High Dam
Hoover Dam
Mount Rushmore National Memorial
The Petronas Towers
The Seven Forgotten Wonders of the Medeival Mind
Abu Simbel Temple
Angkor Wat
Taj Mahal
Mont Saint-Michel
The Moai Statues
The Parthenon
The Shwedagon Pagoda
The Forgotten Wonders
The Aztec Temple
The Banaue Rice Terraces
The Borobudur Temple
The Inca City
The Statue of Liberty
The Mayan Temples
The Temple of the Inscriptions
The Throne Hall of Persepolis
Petra
The Suez Canal
The Sydney Opera House
The Red Fort in India
The Great Pyramid of Giza
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
The Statue of Zeus at Olympia
The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
The Colossus of Rhodes
The Pharos of Alexandria
The Seven Wonders of the Medieval Mind
Stonehenge
The Colosseum
The Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa
The Great Wall of China
The Porcelain Tower of Nanjing
The Hagia Sophia
The Leaning Tower of Pisa
The Seven Natural Wonders of the World
Mount Everest
The Great Barrier Reef
The Grand Canyon
Victoria Falls
The Harbor of Rio de Janeiro
Paricutin Volcano
The Northern Lights
The Seven Underwater Wonders of the World
Palau
The Belize Barrier Reef
The Galapagos Islands
The Northern Red Sea
Lake Baikal
The Great Barrier Reef
The Deep Sea Vents
The Seven Wonders of the Modern World
The Empire State Building
The Itaipú Dam
The CN Tower
The Panama Canal
The Channel Tunnel
The North Sea Protection Works
The Golden Gate Bridge
The Seven Forgotten Natural Wonders of the World
Angel Falls
The Bay of Fundy
Iguaçú Falls
Krakatoa Island
Mount Fuji
Mount Kilimanjaro
Niagara Falls
The Seven Forgotten Modern Wonders of the World
The Clock Tower (Big Ben)
Eiffel Tower
The Gateway Arch
The Aswan High Dam
Hoover Dam
Mount Rushmore National Memorial
The Petronas Towers
The Seven Forgotten Wonders of the Medeival Mind
Abu Simbel Temple
Angkor Wat
Taj Mahal
Mont Saint-Michel
The Moai Statues
The Parthenon
The Shwedagon Pagoda
The Forgotten Wonders
The Aztec Temple
The Banaue Rice Terraces
The Borobudur Temple
The Inca City
The Statue of Liberty
The Mayan Temples
The Temple of the Inscriptions
The Throne Hall of Persepolis
Petra
The Suez Canal
The Sydney Opera House
The Red Fort in India
05 June 2006
Water or Coke?
WATER:
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzz short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
COKE:
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway! after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl & let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.
9. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
For Your Info:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
! Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2 To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would you like a coke or a glass of water?
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzz short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
COKE:
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway! after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl & let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.
9. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
For Your Info:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
! Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2 To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would you like a coke or a glass of water?
I like ur thinking
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Billy.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Billy says, "I have a question for you. "
"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Billy replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Billy says, "I have a question for you. "
"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Billy replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
Test of Cannibals
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest & get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back & said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived & showed the king ten grapes. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... & on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter & was killed.
The first guy & the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
The first one came back & said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived & showed the king ten grapes. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... & on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter & was killed.
The first guy & the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
04 June 2006
Smoking Facts for Teens
What's in cigarettes?
Cigarettes contain disgusting things that you would never think about putting in your body. For example, cigarettes contain tar, carbon monoxide and chemicals like DDT, arsenic and formaldehyde (a gas used to preserve dead animals).
The tobacco in cigarettes also contains nicotine--the drug that makes smoking addictive. All of these things are bad for your body. Nicotine raises your risk of heart attack and stroke. Tar and carbon monoxide cause serious breathing problems. And you know tobacco smoke causes cancer.
What's the real deal with tobacco?
Tobacco is toxic to your body. It causes more health problems and early deaths than all illegal drugs combined. On top of that, tobacco is addictive. This means that once you start using it, your body starts to need it. The longer you use tobacco, and the more you use, the harder it is to stop. Everyone who smokes started by "just trying it." That's how the habit and the addiction begin.
Is chewing tobacco as bad as cigarettes?
Yes. Both cigarettes and chewing tobacco are toxic (poison) to your body. We hear more about the harm cigarettes do to the body, but chewing tobacco can also hurt the body. Chewing tobacco can cause sores and white patches in your mouth, as well as diseases and cancers of the mouth, gums and throat. Chewing can give you bad breath, discolor your teeth and cause tooth loss. And one chew contains 15 times the nicotine of a cigarette (meaning the risk of addiction is much higher).
The numbers?
4,500,000 -- The estimated number of children & adolescents in the US who smoke.
6000 -- The estimated number of people under the age of 18 who try their first cigarette each day.
70 -- The percent of smokers 12 to 17 years old who wish they had never started smoking.
It's never too late to quit.
If you smoke, it's not too late to make a change. To quit, you must break your addiction to nicotine and your habit of smoking. Your habit is the behavior that goes with your tobacco use, such as lighting a cigarette when you get out of school.
Reasons not to smoke.
Expensive (over $1000 a year for a pack a day)
Bad breath
Stained teeth and hands
Cough/sore throat
Problems breathing
Feeling tired and out of breath
Wrinkles (more, sooner)
Arguments with parents, friends
Cancer risk
Heart disease risk
Gum disease risk
Bad smell in your clothes, hair, skin
Cigarette burns in your car or on your clothes
Risk of secondhand smoke to people around you
Things to do instead of smoking
Chew sugarless gum
Call a friend
Chew sunflower seeds, ground mint leaves or caffeine-free herbal tea leaves
Go to a movie or another place where you can't smoke
Take a walk or work out
Remind yourself why you want to quit
Steps to make quitting easier:
Pick a stop date. Choose a date 2 to 4 weeks away so you can get ready to quit. If possible, choose a time when things in your life will change, like when you're about to start a break from school. Or just pick a time when you don't expect any extra stress at school, work or home. For example, quit after final exams, not during them.
Make a list of the reasons why you want to quit. Keep the list on hand so you can look at it when you have a nicotine craving.
Keep track of where, when and why you smoke. You may want to make notes for a week or so to know ahead of time when and why you will crave a cigarette. Plan what you'll do instead of smoking (see list above for ideas). You may also want to plan what you'll say to people who pressure you to smoke.
Throw away all of your tobacco. Clean out your room if you have smoked there. Throw away your ashtrays and lighters--anything that you connect with your smoking habit.
Tell your friends that you're quitting. Ask them not to pressure you about smoking.
Find other things to do with them besides smoking.
When your stop date arrives, Stop. Plan little rewards for yourself for each tobacco-free day, week or month. For example, buy yourself a new shirt or ask a friend to see a movie with you.
Will I gain weight when I quit?
Some people gain a few pounds. Other people lose weight. The main reason some people gain weight is because they eat more food as a substitute for smoking. You can avoid gaining weight by watching how much you eat, staying busy and working out.
How will I feel when I quit?
You may feel edgy and irritable. You also may get angry or upset faster, have trouble concentrating and feel hungrier than usual. You may have headaches and cough more at first (while your lungs are clearing out). All of these can be symptoms of withdrawal from nicotine. Keep in mind that the worst symptoms will be over in a few days. However, you may still have cravings for tobacco. Those cravings have less to do with nicotine addiction and more to do with the habit of smoking.
What about nicotine gum or nicotine patches?
These products may help you if you feel like you can't quit on your own or you have serious withdrawal symptoms. But don't use the gum or patch without talking to your doctor first. These products were not designed for teens and could make you sick if you use them the wrong way. You may need to follow special instructions.
What if I can't quit?
You can quit. Most people try to quit more than once before they succeed. So don't give up if you slip. Just don't go overboard and buy a whole pack of cigarettes. Instead, think about why you want to quit. Think about what happened to make you slip. Figure out how you'll handle that situation differently next time. Then recommit yourself to quitting. You can do it!
Cigarettes contain disgusting things that you would never think about putting in your body. For example, cigarettes contain tar, carbon monoxide and chemicals like DDT, arsenic and formaldehyde (a gas used to preserve dead animals).
The tobacco in cigarettes also contains nicotine--the drug that makes smoking addictive. All of these things are bad for your body. Nicotine raises your risk of heart attack and stroke. Tar and carbon monoxide cause serious breathing problems. And you know tobacco smoke causes cancer.
What's the real deal with tobacco?
Tobacco is toxic to your body. It causes more health problems and early deaths than all illegal drugs combined. On top of that, tobacco is addictive. This means that once you start using it, your body starts to need it. The longer you use tobacco, and the more you use, the harder it is to stop. Everyone who smokes started by "just trying it." That's how the habit and the addiction begin.
Is chewing tobacco as bad as cigarettes?
Yes. Both cigarettes and chewing tobacco are toxic (poison) to your body. We hear more about the harm cigarettes do to the body, but chewing tobacco can also hurt the body. Chewing tobacco can cause sores and white patches in your mouth, as well as diseases and cancers of the mouth, gums and throat. Chewing can give you bad breath, discolor your teeth and cause tooth loss. And one chew contains 15 times the nicotine of a cigarette (meaning the risk of addiction is much higher).
The numbers?
4,500,000 -- The estimated number of children & adolescents in the US who smoke.
6000 -- The estimated number of people under the age of 18 who try their first cigarette each day.
70 -- The percent of smokers 12 to 17 years old who wish they had never started smoking.
It's never too late to quit.
If you smoke, it's not too late to make a change. To quit, you must break your addiction to nicotine and your habit of smoking. Your habit is the behavior that goes with your tobacco use, such as lighting a cigarette when you get out of school.
Reasons not to smoke.
Expensive (over $1000 a year for a pack a day)
Bad breath
Stained teeth and hands
Cough/sore throat
Problems breathing
Feeling tired and out of breath
Wrinkles (more, sooner)
Arguments with parents, friends
Cancer risk
Heart disease risk
Gum disease risk
Bad smell in your clothes, hair, skin
Cigarette burns in your car or on your clothes
Risk of secondhand smoke to people around you
Things to do instead of smoking
Chew sugarless gum
Call a friend
Chew sunflower seeds, ground mint leaves or caffeine-free herbal tea leaves
Go to a movie or another place where you can't smoke
Take a walk or work out
Remind yourself why you want to quit
Steps to make quitting easier:
Pick a stop date. Choose a date 2 to 4 weeks away so you can get ready to quit. If possible, choose a time when things in your life will change, like when you're about to start a break from school. Or just pick a time when you don't expect any extra stress at school, work or home. For example, quit after final exams, not during them.
Make a list of the reasons why you want to quit. Keep the list on hand so you can look at it when you have a nicotine craving.
Keep track of where, when and why you smoke. You may want to make notes for a week or so to know ahead of time when and why you will crave a cigarette. Plan what you'll do instead of smoking (see list above for ideas). You may also want to plan what you'll say to people who pressure you to smoke.
Throw away all of your tobacco. Clean out your room if you have smoked there. Throw away your ashtrays and lighters--anything that you connect with your smoking habit.
Tell your friends that you're quitting. Ask them not to pressure you about smoking.
Find other things to do with them besides smoking.
When your stop date arrives, Stop. Plan little rewards for yourself for each tobacco-free day, week or month. For example, buy yourself a new shirt or ask a friend to see a movie with you.
Will I gain weight when I quit?
Some people gain a few pounds. Other people lose weight. The main reason some people gain weight is because they eat more food as a substitute for smoking. You can avoid gaining weight by watching how much you eat, staying busy and working out.
How will I feel when I quit?
You may feel edgy and irritable. You also may get angry or upset faster, have trouble concentrating and feel hungrier than usual. You may have headaches and cough more at first (while your lungs are clearing out). All of these can be symptoms of withdrawal from nicotine. Keep in mind that the worst symptoms will be over in a few days. However, you may still have cravings for tobacco. Those cravings have less to do with nicotine addiction and more to do with the habit of smoking.
What about nicotine gum or nicotine patches?
These products may help you if you feel like you can't quit on your own or you have serious withdrawal symptoms. But don't use the gum or patch without talking to your doctor first. These products were not designed for teens and could make you sick if you use them the wrong way. You may need to follow special instructions.
What if I can't quit?
You can quit. Most people try to quit more than once before they succeed. So don't give up if you slip. Just don't go overboard and buy a whole pack of cigarettes. Instead, think about why you want to quit. Think about what happened to make you slip. Figure out how you'll handle that situation differently next time. Then recommit yourself to quitting. You can do it!
01 June 2006
The Old Pastor's Last Request
An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent & his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands & motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, & stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent & lawyer were touched & flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?"
The old pastor mustered all his strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, & that's how I want to go.
The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, & stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent & lawyer were touched & flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?"
The old pastor mustered all his strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, & that's how I want to go.
Drinks For The New Age
I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FOLLOWING COMBINATIONS.
Absolute Zero............Absolute vodka over frozen nitrogen.
Alexander the Grrreat....Gin, creme de cacao & sweet cream over Cornflakes.
American in Paris........Kentucky bourbon & champagne.
Black Sabbath............Kahlua and Mogen David wine.
Blind Faith..............Wood alcohol & sacramental wine.
Blood Clot...............Vodka, tomato juice & Jell-O.
Bloody Awful.............Vodka & ketchup.
Blue Moon................Corn whiskey & Aqua Velva.
Coleman Cooler...........White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs & sand.
Fuzzy Naval Base.........Peach schnapps, orange juice & ammonia.
George Bush..............George Dickel bourbon & Busch beer.
Gorbachev................Vodka with a splash of port wine.
Honeydew the Dishes......Midori & Dawn.
Marie Antoinette.........Bourbon, cake mix, & flat beer.
Martinizer...............Gin, vermouth & carbon tetrachloride.
Mary Poppins.............Vodka, tomato juice & a spoonful of sugar.
Mexican Hairless.........Tequila & Minoxidil.
Oil of Ole...............Mazola & Sangria.
Peter, Paul, and Mary....Potassium nitrate, Paul Masson wine & tomato juice.
Phillips' Screwdriver....Vodka, orange juice & milk of magnesia.
Port in a Storm..........Red wine & rainwater.
A Rum with a View........Bacardi & Visine.
Quack Doctor.............Cold duck & Dr. Pepper.
Scotch Tapeworm..........Dewar's & Mescal.
Sake-to-me...............Rice wine, punch & nitrous oxide.
Rum-Pole of the Bailey...Bacardi rum, Popov vodka & Bailey's Irish Cream.
Shipwreck................Cutty Sark on the rocks.
Short Wave...............Ripple in a shot glass, ginger, syrup & pomegranate.
Sinead O'Connor..........Irish whiskey & Nair.
Skid Roe.................Muscatel & caviar.
Sour Kraut...............Schnapps & lemon juice.
Sundae Driver............Vodka, orange juice, & ice cream.
Tequila Mockingbird......Jose Cuervo & birdseed.
Absolute Zero............Absolute vodka over frozen nitrogen.
Alexander the Grrreat....Gin, creme de cacao & sweet cream over Cornflakes.
American in Paris........Kentucky bourbon & champagne.
Black Sabbath............Kahlua and Mogen David wine.
Blind Faith..............Wood alcohol & sacramental wine.
Blood Clot...............Vodka, tomato juice & Jell-O.
Bloody Awful.............Vodka & ketchup.
Blue Moon................Corn whiskey & Aqua Velva.
Coleman Cooler...........White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs & sand.
Fuzzy Naval Base.........Peach schnapps, orange juice & ammonia.
George Bush..............George Dickel bourbon & Busch beer.
Gorbachev................Vodka with a splash of port wine.
Honeydew the Dishes......Midori & Dawn.
Marie Antoinette.........Bourbon, cake mix, & flat beer.
Martinizer...............Gin, vermouth & carbon tetrachloride.
Mary Poppins.............Vodka, tomato juice & a spoonful of sugar.
Mexican Hairless.........Tequila & Minoxidil.
Oil of Ole...............Mazola & Sangria.
Peter, Paul, and Mary....Potassium nitrate, Paul Masson wine & tomato juice.
Phillips' Screwdriver....Vodka, orange juice & milk of magnesia.
Port in a Storm..........Red wine & rainwater.
A Rum with a View........Bacardi & Visine.
Quack Doctor.............Cold duck & Dr. Pepper.
Scotch Tapeworm..........Dewar's & Mescal.
Sake-to-me...............Rice wine, punch & nitrous oxide.
Rum-Pole of the Bailey...Bacardi rum, Popov vodka & Bailey's Irish Cream.
Shipwreck................Cutty Sark on the rocks.
Short Wave...............Ripple in a shot glass, ginger, syrup & pomegranate.
Sinead O'Connor..........Irish whiskey & Nair.
Skid Roe.................Muscatel & caviar.
Sour Kraut...............Schnapps & lemon juice.
Sundae Driver............Vodka, orange juice, & ice cream.
Tequila Mockingbird......Jose Cuervo & birdseed.
Guys Guide To Flowers....
With these helpful hints on flowers, you will feel more confident about choosing beautiful blooms for that special someone in your life!
Something Simple & Sweet-
Consider a mixed bouquet of daisies, lilies and wild flowers. This mixed bouquet is appropriate no matter what the occasion. Perfect for the "New" relationships. It simply lets that special someone know that you are thinking of them. A local florist can deliver the flowers to your recipient with a message card.
Someone need a pick me up-
A basket of Flowers or a flowering plant with a teddy bear is just the right touch to brighten someone's day! Perfect for someone who is having a bad day or doesn't feel well.
True Love-
Roses can represent many things. Red Roses have been long known for their association with LOVE. But don't feel confined to just red! If you know she likes pink, then send her 1 dozen pink roses. For special occasions, such as Birthday, Valentine's Day or Anniversary, make more of an impression by sending a spectacular 2 or 3 dozen roses in a vase. To be unique, send 2 or 3 dozen of a more rare flower, like calla lilies:) WOW! Add balloons and a bear for a real surprise!
When in doubt-
Ask the florist. They are the experts! Tell the florist what kind of personality your recipient has. Maybe even what colors they like. With your sentiment in mind, they can recommend the perfect arrangement.
Include a Message-
Always include a message with your flowers. Even if it is simply, "From, John" or "Love, Phil ". It can be very frustrating to some people to receive a gift without knowledge of who sent it. Simple sentiments like?.. "Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you today" or " Thank you for being you" are appropriate. Of course, If the gift is being sent for a particular occasion, mention that. For example, "Happy Birthday to a Beautiful Woman - With Love, John ". Perfect! Simple and Sweet!
Add something special-
Florists often have many things that can be added to your floral arrangement to make it extra special. Plush Animals, Mylar and Latex Balloons and Chocolates are just a few of the items that can compliment your floral gift!
Timing-
Remember to order early before busy holidays, especially Valentine's Day! Most florists suggest ordering a week before if possible. This will ensure a better selection of flowers and timely delivery to your recipient.
Finally
Don't order your flowers through a call center! These companies charge you a fee to process your order. Even if they tell you that they don't charge you fees, they will absorb a portion of your money, and then pass the order on to a local florist at a decreased value! Make sure you order your floral gift directly from a real local florist in the town you are sending them to. No Middleman, No Extra Fees! This will ensure that you get the best value & service! Your floral gift will be beautifully designed for presentation.
Something Simple & Sweet-
Consider a mixed bouquet of daisies, lilies and wild flowers. This mixed bouquet is appropriate no matter what the occasion. Perfect for the "New" relationships. It simply lets that special someone know that you are thinking of them. A local florist can deliver the flowers to your recipient with a message card.
Someone need a pick me up-
A basket of Flowers or a flowering plant with a teddy bear is just the right touch to brighten someone's day! Perfect for someone who is having a bad day or doesn't feel well.
True Love-
Roses can represent many things. Red Roses have been long known for their association with LOVE. But don't feel confined to just red! If you know she likes pink, then send her 1 dozen pink roses. For special occasions, such as Birthday, Valentine's Day or Anniversary, make more of an impression by sending a spectacular 2 or 3 dozen roses in a vase. To be unique, send 2 or 3 dozen of a more rare flower, like calla lilies:) WOW! Add balloons and a bear for a real surprise!
When in doubt-
Ask the florist. They are the experts! Tell the florist what kind of personality your recipient has. Maybe even what colors they like. With your sentiment in mind, they can recommend the perfect arrangement.
Include a Message-
Always include a message with your flowers. Even if it is simply, "From, John" or "Love, Phil ". It can be very frustrating to some people to receive a gift without knowledge of who sent it. Simple sentiments like?.. "Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you today" or " Thank you for being you" are appropriate. Of course, If the gift is being sent for a particular occasion, mention that. For example, "Happy Birthday to a Beautiful Woman - With Love, John ". Perfect! Simple and Sweet!
Add something special-
Florists often have many things that can be added to your floral arrangement to make it extra special. Plush Animals, Mylar and Latex Balloons and Chocolates are just a few of the items that can compliment your floral gift!
Timing-
Remember to order early before busy holidays, especially Valentine's Day! Most florists suggest ordering a week before if possible. This will ensure a better selection of flowers and timely delivery to your recipient.
Finally
Don't order your flowers through a call center! These companies charge you a fee to process your order. Even if they tell you that they don't charge you fees, they will absorb a portion of your money, and then pass the order on to a local florist at a decreased value! Make sure you order your floral gift directly from a real local florist in the town you are sending them to. No Middleman, No Extra Fees! This will ensure that you get the best value & service! Your floral gift will be beautifully designed for presentation.
Robby's Night, A True Story Worth Reading...
At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Moines, Iowa. I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons - something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students.
However, I've also had my share of what I call "musically challenged" Pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.
But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him Play the piano. So, I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons & from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor.
As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone & basic rhythm needed to excel. But, he dutifully reviewed his scales & some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.
Over the months he tried & tried while I listened & cringed & tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, "My mom's going to hear me play someday." But, it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved & smiled but never stopped in.
Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.
I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, That he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!
Several weeks later I mailed, to the student's homes, a flyer on the upcoming recital. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils & because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick & unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing. "Miss Hondorf.. I've just got to play!" he insisted.
I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it Was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends, & relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up & thank all the students & play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program & I could always salvage his poor performance through my "curtain closer."
Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing & it showed. Then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled & his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. "Why didn't he dress up like the other students?" I thought. "Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?"
Robby pulled out the piano bench & he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age.
After six & a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo & everyone was on their feet in wild applause.
Overcome & in tears, I ran up on stage & put my arms around Robby in Joy "I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it?" Through The microphone Robby explained: "Well Miss Hondorf.. remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer & passed away this morning. And well, she was born deaf, so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special."
There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, I noticed that even their eyes were red & puffy; & I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.
No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy of Robby's. He was the teacher & I was the pupil. For it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance & love, & believing in yourself & maybe even taking a chance in someone & you don't know why.
Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.
VIA: E-Mail Forward.
However, I've also had my share of what I call "musically challenged" Pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.
But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him Play the piano. So, I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons & from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor.
As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone & basic rhythm needed to excel. But, he dutifully reviewed his scales & some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.
Over the months he tried & tried while I listened & cringed & tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, "My mom's going to hear me play someday." But, it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved & smiled but never stopped in.
Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.
I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, That he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!
Several weeks later I mailed, to the student's homes, a flyer on the upcoming recital. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils & because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick & unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing. "Miss Hondorf.. I've just got to play!" he insisted.
I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it Was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends, & relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up & thank all the students & play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program & I could always salvage his poor performance through my "curtain closer."
Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing & it showed. Then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled & his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. "Why didn't he dress up like the other students?" I thought. "Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?"
Robby pulled out the piano bench & he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age.
After six & a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo & everyone was on their feet in wild applause.
Overcome & in tears, I ran up on stage & put my arms around Robby in Joy "I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it?" Through The microphone Robby explained: "Well Miss Hondorf.. remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer & passed away this morning. And well, she was born deaf, so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special."
There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, I noticed that even their eyes were red & puffy; & I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.
No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy of Robby's. He was the teacher & I was the pupil. For it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance & love, & believing in yourself & maybe even taking a chance in someone & you don't know why.
Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.
VIA: E-Mail Forward.
Would you use it?
Outsie of Toilet
Inside of Toilet
That's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.
Inside of Toilet
That's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.
Market News (Info.)
Bombay Stock Exchange Sensitive Index of 30 scrips, popularly known as Sensex came down from the dizzy heights of 12,671 odd touched on 11 May 06 to the low depths of below 10,000 on 22nd May 2006 tempting a frenchman at a five star swimming pool in Mumbai to comment that "there is no sense or sex in your sensex"!
Reams of paper have been consumed in past one week alone to carry expert views, opinions, suggestions, cautions, forecasts all for educating & explaining the cause for the steep, unprecedented & unexpected fall in Indian Stock markets. Mr. Chidambaram, the Finance Minister, through the week has occupied prime space in this entire exercise of commenting on the fall leading a columnist (ET 24.5.2006) to question FM's excessive involvement in the movement of the stock markets as unworthy & unbecoming obsession &; an editorial (TOI 25.5.06) advising him to let the stock markets alone to investors.
In the midst of all these views & counter views, yet one more comment from not so high profile a person like me can easily be accommodated if not pardoned. Here it goes.
(i) In my view, the cause in the whole drama of stock prices falling like nine pins is not the draft CBDT Circular of 16 May 2006, inviting comments on proposed guidelines on tax treatment of stock market transactions as business income chargeable at 30% tax & not as short term capital gains chargeable at 10%. The real culprit is the Notice issued by the Income tax Department to several US based mutual funds asking them that they should withhold & remit tax to Indian Tax Department in excess of 40% of the gross management fees paid to its manager with respect to Indian shares & securities of those US Mutual Funds. CBDT is stated to have contended that these management fees constitute "technical services" & hence taxable at rates applicable to such services. It must be remembered that FIIS have been the largest sellers since early May 2006.
(ii) It is reported that in early April of this year, a US based body ICI representing over 9500 US mutual funds & investment trusts managing over $9.25 trillion in assets—wrote to Mr. Arbind Modi, joint secretary in charge of tax policy & legislation at the Department of Revenue, questioning locus standi of tax notices many US fund managers had been served While contending that no tax liability in India should arise on fund managers' fees, the ICI wrote that even if these services are taxable in India they would still be exempt under the income tax treaty against double taxation between the US & India. The tax treaty provides for taxing fees for services that involve transfer of knowhow & skills, which a fund manager does not do & hence not covered as such. Apart from the time & legal costs of engaging in litigation with the Indian tax authorities, the ICI believes that even a successful appeal could mean fund managers may have to wait "seven years or more" for recovering such taxed fees. About the impact of this move on portfolio investments from US funds into Dalal Street, ICI wrote that it was aware of "US mutual fund managers that are delaying decisions to invest in India until this tax issue is resolved."
"Absent a strong government signal," the ICI wrote, "FIIs may wonder whether additional novel attempts to impose tax will be pursued in the months & years to come."
Indeed, the implications of this action go well beyond US fund managers facing these orders. "If these tax demands hold, despite the specialized language of the US-India tax treaty, none of India's tax treaties could protect fund managers. Moreover, this won't apply to mutual funds alone, but to all categories of investors: like pension funds, university endowments, hedge funds, insurance companies investing in Indian capital markets, commented an expert specializing in NRI taxation.
(iii) According to me, only one Newspaper (Indian Express) has reported on this issue on Friday 19th May & despite the selective strategic purchases by LIC & domestic mutual funds from 22nd inst onwards when the Sensex did go over 11,000 intra-day, but FIIS have been net sellers through the week Mr. Chidambaram keeps clarifying about CBDT Circular of 16th May but does not say a word about the Notices for TDS by managers of US based funds & CBDT's views on the same which is perhaps the reason for FIIs' discomfort.
(iv) Perhaps, CBDT has thought it fit not to inform FM about this too trivial a matter in the same way it chose not inform him, few months back, when it engaged one Advocate by the name of Ms. Nalini Chidambaram in a tax case for a High Court matter.
(v) No doubt, draft Circular of CBDT dated 16 May 2006 also contributed in the turmoil among FIIs in absence of categorical assertion that the proposed guidelines on tax treatment of transactions on stock market to determine the character of income as business income or capital gains, do not apply to FIIs at all. It was only subsequently that FM went on record to say that FIIs are governed by separate stand alone sections of the Income tax Act. Similarly, international events like hardening of US Interest rates, fall in commodities prices & uncertainty on oil front all have in some measure of the other also adversely affected the FII sentiment & hence massive sales of Indian equity.
Coming weeks will be interesting to watch FIIs actions.
VIA: E-Mail (Shweta)
Reams of paper have been consumed in past one week alone to carry expert views, opinions, suggestions, cautions, forecasts all for educating & explaining the cause for the steep, unprecedented & unexpected fall in Indian Stock markets. Mr. Chidambaram, the Finance Minister, through the week has occupied prime space in this entire exercise of commenting on the fall leading a columnist (ET 24.5.2006) to question FM's excessive involvement in the movement of the stock markets as unworthy & unbecoming obsession &; an editorial (TOI 25.5.06) advising him to let the stock markets alone to investors.
In the midst of all these views & counter views, yet one more comment from not so high profile a person like me can easily be accommodated if not pardoned. Here it goes.
(i) In my view, the cause in the whole drama of stock prices falling like nine pins is not the draft CBDT Circular of 16 May 2006, inviting comments on proposed guidelines on tax treatment of stock market transactions as business income chargeable at 30% tax & not as short term capital gains chargeable at 10%. The real culprit is the Notice issued by the Income tax Department to several US based mutual funds asking them that they should withhold & remit tax to Indian Tax Department in excess of 40% of the gross management fees paid to its manager with respect to Indian shares & securities of those US Mutual Funds. CBDT is stated to have contended that these management fees constitute "technical services" & hence taxable at rates applicable to such services. It must be remembered that FIIS have been the largest sellers since early May 2006.
(ii) It is reported that in early April of this year, a US based body ICI representing over 9500 US mutual funds & investment trusts managing over $9.25 trillion in assets—wrote to Mr. Arbind Modi, joint secretary in charge of tax policy & legislation at the Department of Revenue, questioning locus standi of tax notices many US fund managers had been served While contending that no tax liability in India should arise on fund managers' fees, the ICI wrote that even if these services are taxable in India they would still be exempt under the income tax treaty against double taxation between the US & India. The tax treaty provides for taxing fees for services that involve transfer of knowhow & skills, which a fund manager does not do & hence not covered as such. Apart from the time & legal costs of engaging in litigation with the Indian tax authorities, the ICI believes that even a successful appeal could mean fund managers may have to wait "seven years or more" for recovering such taxed fees. About the impact of this move on portfolio investments from US funds into Dalal Street, ICI wrote that it was aware of "US mutual fund managers that are delaying decisions to invest in India until this tax issue is resolved."
"Absent a strong government signal," the ICI wrote, "FIIs may wonder whether additional novel attempts to impose tax will be pursued in the months & years to come."
Indeed, the implications of this action go well beyond US fund managers facing these orders. "If these tax demands hold, despite the specialized language of the US-India tax treaty, none of India's tax treaties could protect fund managers. Moreover, this won't apply to mutual funds alone, but to all categories of investors: like pension funds, university endowments, hedge funds, insurance companies investing in Indian capital markets, commented an expert specializing in NRI taxation.
(iii) According to me, only one Newspaper (Indian Express) has reported on this issue on Friday 19th May & despite the selective strategic purchases by LIC & domestic mutual funds from 22nd inst onwards when the Sensex did go over 11,000 intra-day, but FIIS have been net sellers through the week Mr. Chidambaram keeps clarifying about CBDT Circular of 16th May but does not say a word about the Notices for TDS by managers of US based funds & CBDT's views on the same which is perhaps the reason for FIIs' discomfort.
(iv) Perhaps, CBDT has thought it fit not to inform FM about this too trivial a matter in the same way it chose not inform him, few months back, when it engaged one Advocate by the name of Ms. Nalini Chidambaram in a tax case for a High Court matter.
(v) No doubt, draft Circular of CBDT dated 16 May 2006 also contributed in the turmoil among FIIs in absence of categorical assertion that the proposed guidelines on tax treatment of transactions on stock market to determine the character of income as business income or capital gains, do not apply to FIIs at all. It was only subsequently that FM went on record to say that FIIs are governed by separate stand alone sections of the Income tax Act. Similarly, international events like hardening of US Interest rates, fall in commodities prices & uncertainty on oil front all have in some measure of the other also adversely affected the FII sentiment & hence massive sales of Indian equity.
Coming weeks will be interesting to watch FIIs actions.
VIA: E-Mail (Shweta)